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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ex au pair opened bank account to my address

162 replies

NancyDroop · 01/08/2017 21:00

Her bank cards arrived today along with an email from the ex au pair asking to pick them up.

Am I being unreasonable to not give her the cards as I'm not comfortable with her using my address for her bank account?

She didn't ask to use my address and I assume she managed to open the account on the basis of the old letter saying she was an au pair here (which was intended for her NI application when she first arrived, which it turned out she didn't need).

She now lives in some other accommodation in UK with her parents, who have moved here. She is working in a coffee shop. I am not sure how formally organised her accommodation is, so I don't know how easy it will be for her to change her address to her new accommodation... but... I really don't want her to use our address.

She left on terrible terms. I was away with my brother in hospital (broken femur!) and she she secretly moved her parents into her room, saying they would only stay until they found jobs and accommodation.... she created so much drama and I want rid.

So, am I being unreasonable to just tell her to shove off? It really does pain me to do so, as I am (too) kind, so I would love some advice peeps.

OP posts:
Maelstrop · 01/08/2017 22:18

Don't bother going to the branch, just return to sender, not known at this address. Txt the au pair to say don't use the address, it's fraud and a crime. I wouldn't be exerting myself anymore than this.

Original poster
NancyDroop · 01/08/2017 22:22

I do fancy going to the bank now, I know which branch it must be, and I want to ask them why they are letting someone use my address to open an account without proper proof of address.

OP posts:
Hortonlovesahoo · 01/08/2017 22:28

Good idea to go into the branch. They might be able to help more. It certainly does sound very cheeky.

Good luck OP

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 01/08/2017 22:32

I would go straight to the bank. Also agree with not responding to au pairs email. You don't owe her and it sounds like she caused you merry hell when she was with you. Sorry you're having this stress

I was told by a bank that having linked addresses doesn't mean debt is linked to you as debt is in the name and not the address (but I bow to tinseltwins expert advice if she has had a different experience)

Hope you get it sorted asap Flowers

josCS · 01/08/2017 22:34

We had someone using our address for a bank card I initially sent back all the mail saying not known at this address but kept receiving mail then reminders finally worked out which bank it was and called them. They said do not open the letters as they are not addressed to you take all the letters to a local branch. I took them in and finally the letters stopped. Definitely deal with it now and find your nearest branch to drop them in.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 01/08/2017 22:34

As it is Santander and the account is new if you cross through the address and mark as "return to sender - addressee not resident at this address" and put it in the most convenient postbox, a stop will be placed on the account. No need to go into a branch (and tbh if you did go into one there's no guarantee the person you see will either know what to do or do anything with it ime).

The stop on the account for a returned mail indicator can only be lifted by providing proof of ID and proof of address. Your letter will not be sufficient ID. Actually that's made me wonder if she's applied for anything else at your address and is using that as her proof of address to open the account? HMRC correspondence would also do though, for example a letter about NI for example.

A returned mail indicator on a newly opened account should automatically be referred to fraud but just in case it isn't, I would also call Santander's fraud number to report the fraud. You will need to give them her name as it appears on the letter and your address.

Then I would check your credit files. She can't have opened the account using your letter as proof of address. It's not valid ID on their list but she may have obtained something else at your address that is valid ID such as the HMRC letter as mentioned above or something more sinister.

Another vote for MrsS's letter.

Original poster
NancyDroop · 01/08/2017 22:35

Thank you all, happy to have done my first AIBU and not been roasted, I tend to lurk around the quieter corners here Wink

OP posts:
MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 01/08/2017 22:36

I do fancy going to the bank now, I know which branch it must be, and I want to ask them why they are letting someone use my address to open an account without proper proof of address

Unfortunately you have no idea what proof of address she used and the bank won't discuss it with you any way as you're not the account holder, so don't waste your time.

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 01/08/2017 22:39

Please understand the definition of fraud before you waltz in making accusations:

fraud
[frɔːd]

NOUN
wrongful or criminal deception intended to result in financial or personal gain

How has the au pair committed fraud? She's opened a bank account whilst living at your address and not changed her details. Remiss of her but not fraudulent.

Musicaltheatremum · 01/08/2017 22:43

No she moved away then opened the account after moving

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 01/08/2017 22:45

It's fraud. Obviously fraud StillDriving.

The au pair has used false information (ie Deception) to open an account (i.e. Personal and financial gain).

The au pair did not live at the address when she opened the account.

Please read the thread properly before you waltz in and make an incorrect assertion while also managing to be extremely patronising Wink

shoeaddict83 · 01/08/2017 22:46

You definitely need to get this sorted. A few people upthread said she can't be linked by address alone to your credit but that's wrong.
I moved into a rented house years ago, unknown to me previous renter was delightful young man who'd been all over the local news for manslaughter, there was big trial and he was locked up. One day had knock on door to find bailiffs asking for said young man. New of him but said he wasn't at address in fact last I read he was in prison and I didn't know him personally, but apparently he had debts, last linked to that address and they wanted paying. Tried to enter house which we refused, then They took down the reg of mine and my OHs cars saying they would tow them to pay the debts, I had to get my landlord and the police out to prove I had moved in after the other guy had moved out and that I was no connection before they gave up. It was fucking nightmare though, really intimidating and I shit myself for weeks that's we'd come home to they'd come back and taken a car.
It's NOT worth it, ring the bank tell them it's fraud and check your report regularly to make sure she isn't linked. You aren't easily protected if other people use your address unfortunately

YellowLawn · 01/08/2017 22:46

maybe her new job payslips are registered here but she hasn't had one sent here yet
they are not neccessarily sent in the post anymore. some employers use online systems instead.

GardenGeek · 01/08/2017 22:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 01/08/2017 23:04

Is she on the electoral roll at your address? Or the council tax?

Santander use something called e-verification (or they used to) that can verify someone's address using the electoral roll and/or data on their credit file rather than a hard copy of a utility bill or similar. It's possible they have used that if she either has credit at your address (could be a mobile phone) but she would usually have to be on the electoral roll too but not always.

Original poster
NancyDroop · 01/08/2017 23:06

shoeaddict Shock

OP posts:
Original poster
NancyDroop · 01/08/2017 23:09

moving she is not on the electoral roll or council tax here and has no other bills to the address - nothing. She was here for 5 months and (I believe) she only has a letter from me (dated Jan) saying she was my au pair, living here and the NI card she got in the post here. Seems insufficient!?!

OP posts:
StillDrivingMeBonkers · 01/08/2017 23:12

Please read the thread properly before you waltz in and make an incorrect assertion while also managing to be extremely patronising

The whole thread is assumption. Not a fact in it. Not fraud. MovingOnUpMovingOnOut perhaps you could learn to read properly understand words in context Smile

From the OP:

She didn't ask to use my address and I assume she managed to open the account on the basis of the old letter saying she was an au pair here

I don't open other people's post, not even DH, so don''t know why I suggested that.

Assumptions.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 01/08/2017 23:15

It does seem insufficent. This is Santander's ID list: www.santander.co.uk/csdlvlr/ContentServer?c=SANDocument_C&pagename=WCSUKPublicaLte%2FSANDocument_C%2FSANDocumentPreview&cid=1324580797084

The NI card might be sufficient proof of address if it came with a letter addressed to her and she had a passport.

If she has a driving licence she could have changed the address on it to yours and you might not know. Seems a bit unlikely though. She doesn't seem to be that bright. If she were she would have got the cards sent to a branch for collection and you would never have known about it.

Original poster
NancyDroop · 01/08/2017 23:22

She did email me to say she had opened an account, could she pick up the cards. She hasn't lived here for over a month. But I won't waltz in anywhere, certainly not claiming fraud. Anyway, it is Santander, so I will probably be doing the tango Grin

OP posts:
ExplodedCloud · 01/08/2017 23:24

I would take the opportunity of having the cards to nip this in the bud. Many years ago somebody who stayed with me for a few weeks changed their bank account to my address and it was a nightmare to sort out. I couldn't get the person to sort it out but the bank wouldn't listen to me.
Is she likely to be able to get the cards reissued for collection at a branch?

Original poster
NancyDroop · 01/08/2017 23:25

Nope no driving licence so that is good in this case. Both potential proof of addresses were dated January. Doesn't seem right.

OP posts:
MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 01/08/2017 23:26

Oh dear, you are a bit touchy literal StillDriving Grin

From your own quote from the op it is clear the au pair was not resident. It is also clarified in the same op that the au pair now lives elsewhere with her parents. If the au pair resided with the op she would not need "permission" from the op to use her address because it would be her address.

If the au pair was living with the op she wouldn't have needed to start the thread!

Does that help you understand? You do realise I'm only making this point because your original post on the thread was so patronising yes? Seems you don't like the boot being on the other foot...

Original poster
NancyDroop · 01/08/2017 23:35

Ugh branch collection, I had not considered that. I only feel I am able to contain the situation by having the cards and not handing them over. If she does get the cards via branch collection I am sure she will not change the address.

OP posts:
FlyingFox95 · 02/08/2017 04:37

With branch collection a letter still goes to the registered address to confirm the card has arrived at the branch. Nothing to worry about on that front because if it happens you would know about it.