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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ex au pair opened bank account to my address

162 replies

NancyDroop · 01/08/2017 21:00

Her bank cards arrived today along with an email from the ex au pair asking to pick them up.

Am I being unreasonable to not give her the cards as I'm not comfortable with her using my address for her bank account?

She didn't ask to use my address and I assume she managed to open the account on the basis of the old letter saying she was an au pair here (which was intended for her NI application when she first arrived, which it turned out she didn't need).

She now lives in some other accommodation in UK with her parents, who have moved here. She is working in a coffee shop. I am not sure how formally organised her accommodation is, so I don't know how easy it will be for her to change her address to her new accommodation... but... I really don't want her to use our address.

She left on terrible terms. I was away with my brother in hospital (broken femur!) and she she secretly moved her parents into her room, saying they would only stay until they found jobs and accommodation.... she created so much drama and I want rid.

So, am I being unreasonable to just tell her to shove off? It really does pain me to do so, as I am (too) kind, so I would love some advice peeps.

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 02/08/2017 05:01

Cheeky cow.

FidgetWidget · 02/08/2017 06:12

I have had to deal with debt collectors and bailiffs for over 5 years. All to do with the previous owner and their tenants - in all some 7 people! I now open every piece of post that arrives. I let the sender of the mail know that the person they are writing to is not known to me, has not lived here for over 5 years and that I have no forwarding address. There has never been any comeback because I opened the mail. Banks do not like writing to people at addresses where they don't live. Some of the cheeky f*cker previous residents, even now, quote my address for new sign ups and fines....?! I tried the 'return to sender' only to find that yet more mail arrived.

OP - take control! Open the post, contact the sender and let them know that the person does not live at your address.

Santander were sending bank statements here for a previous tenant which I dutifully returned to sender every month for years. When I eventually called the bank, they would not discuss with me as I was not the account holder. In the end, I emailed the bank quoting the account holder's name, sort code and account number in the email subject - result immediately! Bank not happy with customer details used as the subject of an email. Try it!

OhtoblazeswithElvira · 02/08/2017 06:18

I thought it was OK for you to open the post for the purposes of stopping crime and fraud? Certainly I open any post that I get for a certain person who used to live at my address - especially as it's usually court summons and bailiff letters. I called the court to explain I had no knowledge of this person and they acted immediately, I was never questioned on why I opened the letters (which had "court summons, do not ignore" written all over them!).

Evangeline3 · 02/08/2017 06:50

Sometimes you cannot update your address if you've recently moved.
If applying for credit cards etc and you use a new address it will get declined, perhaps that's why she's used that address.
I wouldn't have opened her post, though.
Does she have any other letters arrive at your address? If not, perhaps it was just a one off due to her registered address on her credit file etc.

Evangeline3 · 02/08/2017 06:53

I just read that she only moved out a month ago.
I'm pretty certain that's why she used your address.
When I moved to a new address I had to take some evidence to my bank on one occasion.
I think it's a little harsh to say return to sender.
As long as she knows she must change her addresses and this is the last time before you begin writing "return to sender".

Original poster
NancyDroop · 02/08/2017 07:01

I haven't opened the letters, she emailed me and asked to pick up the cards. I determined which bank it is from the return address on the envelope.

l know it seems harsh not to give her the cards (thus this thread) but if I give her the cards I am sure she will never change the address. I don't trust her, she isn't a responsible person. So I need her to change the address.

OP posts:
Original poster
NancyDroop · 02/08/2017 07:02

Also the potential proofs of address are 6 months old. Unsure how she managed to open the account.

OP posts:
NormaSmuff · 02/08/2017 07:03

i agree with evanaline

MiraiDevant · 02/08/2017 07:08

This happened to me. The bank would not talk to me as I was not the account holder. Sending stuff back had no effect - just went to some postal clearing centre.

I had to fight to prove that credit card fraud was not linked to me. Took forever and cost money.

The guy had no connection with me and had just forged a letter to himself "proving" he lived here. Once he had that he got a bank account. Once he had a bank account he got other stuff.

Eventually I went into the bank with all the letters/cards and got a receipt for what I handed back to them. I did open it as I was very suspicious that credit cards and letters kept arriving for someone I had never heard of. Sending letters back unopened made no difference whatsoever.

If someone uses your address for credit and you are on benefits it can affect your claim and you might find yourself having to prove that you are the only adult living there - not easy at all.

Original poster
NancyDroop · 02/08/2017 07:11

Thanks Mirai PP's last night also advised that this is a serious issue and I will go to the branch with the letters. I'm sorryyou had the hassle!

OP posts:
Evangeline3 · 02/08/2017 07:14

I would explain to her that she must update her addresses now as this is the last time she can pick up the post.
I moved around two months ago and I'm 100% sure I have letters, possibly from my bank at my old address.
I updated my address as soon as I could, however when I tried to get something on finance, I immediately failed as I had just moved and my credit file hadn't been updated.
If you explain to her in no uncertain terms that this is the last of the post she can collect before it is returned to sender then at least you know if it is to happen again that she has had a chance, a warning if you like.
Perhaps put it in an email just so it's in writing.

MiraiDevant · 02/08/2017 07:16

Also I would be beyond furious if someone allowed anyone to live in my home unauthorized.

That would also be fraudulent too as she'd be using your address to register her parents for something or other.

By the way - a friend of mine - a single working mother who was also entitled to top up child tax credit and working tax credit got told to pay back over £7,000 in benefits because she "was not single". Someone she vaguely knew had used her address for a delivery, (she agreed to this), and then credit applications she didn't know about and all sorts of other things. I believe she is still fighting them but her benefits have stopped in the meantime.

MiraiDevant · 02/08/2017 07:16

Good luck OP!

Original poster
NancyDroop · 02/08/2017 07:20

Thanks all. Unfortunately she won't be getting the cards from me. No "last time promise?" about opening a bank account at an address you don't live at.

OP posts:
Evangeline3 · 02/08/2017 07:23

It could be a replacement card.
Like I say, if she moved out a month ago then her credit file would not be updated.
Obviously you are entitled to not give the cards back, I just thought you were asking whether to let her have her post or not.

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 02/08/2017 07:28

Does that help you understand? You do realise I'm only making this point because your original post on the thread was so patronising yes? Seems you don't like the boot being on the other foot...

Where as the only foot you have MovingOnUpMovingOnOut is in that mouth of yours.

Its not difficult to discern fact from fiction. Hmm

Headofthehive55 · 02/08/2017 07:34

Santander are not good at checking .
On returning from hols a couple of years ago (early) they had sent bank card to our address using my DH name (misspelt).
We cannot understand how they opened an account without proof. He hadn't opened it.

Ktown · 02/08/2017 07:38

This will likely affect your credit rating in the future.
I'd send back to the bank.

Bellabooboo · 02/08/2017 07:43

I don't think it will impact your own credit rating. I worked for Equifax about 10 years ago and you'd have to have default on a credit agreement together for it to be impacted. It could have changed though.

TennisAtXmas · 02/08/2017 07:43

Do not correspond with the banks - that actually connects you with her more not less.
Its no good trying to pretend there's no connection with her tho, when there has been, and she used it to open an account! The OP needs to get right in there with the bank, explain that she is concerned that it seems to be fraud, and she's not happy it was possible for au pair to open account there when she does not live there.

Bellabooboo · 02/08/2017 07:45

My DH is an ex bankrupt and even as financially associated people, my rating independently is very good.
Please ring equifax helpline though and ask them though

Original poster
NancyDroop · 02/08/2017 07:46

Its not a replecement card. This is her first bank account ever accordingto her.

OP posts:
Bellabooboo · 02/08/2017 07:46

Tell the bank and keep destroying all correspondence that comes to your address. If she never gets a card or log on she can't use the account can she (?)

Auldspinster · 02/08/2017 07:52

I work in this area and would agree with those that say return the cards to the branch who can start a fraud case.

eddielizzard · 02/08/2017 07:54

yy to returning cards to bank. i'd also ask how she managed to open the account fraudulently. i wouldn't respond to her email until i'd returned the cards tho. don't tell her until it's too late for her to do anything!

Flowers she sounds like a nightmare. hope this is the end of it.