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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ex au pair opened bank account to my address

162 replies

NancyDroop · 01/08/2017 21:00

Her bank cards arrived today along with an email from the ex au pair asking to pick them up.

Am I being unreasonable to not give her the cards as I'm not comfortable with her using my address for her bank account?

She didn't ask to use my address and I assume she managed to open the account on the basis of the old letter saying she was an au pair here (which was intended for her NI application when she first arrived, which it turned out she didn't need).

She now lives in some other accommodation in UK with her parents, who have moved here. She is working in a coffee shop. I am not sure how formally organised her accommodation is, so I don't know how easy it will be for her to change her address to her new accommodation... but... I really don't want her to use our address.

She left on terrible terms. I was away with my brother in hospital (broken femur!) and she she secretly moved her parents into her room, saying they would only stay until they found jobs and accommodation.... she created so much drama and I want rid.

So, am I being unreasonable to just tell her to shove off? It really does pain me to do so, as I am (too) kind, so I would love some advice peeps.

OP posts:
MrsSchadenfreude · 01/08/2017 21:25

Dear Au Pair,

I have returned your bank cards to the bank and have advised them that you are no longer living here or in my employment. Please do not use my address as your place of residence - to do so is fraud, and a criminal offence in UK.

Please return the letter that I gave you to sort out your NI number, as this is no longer valid.

Best wishes,

OP.

Original poster
NancyDroop · 01/08/2017 21:26

Thanks re name CookieLady, nice to meet you all, hehe, I will report my post.

OP posts:
TinselTwins · 01/08/2017 21:26

You next step should be to go to the bank and change your address to your current address and have the cards sent there. I am told you will probably not need proof of address to change the account address

NO!
NO NO NO NO NO NO
That's all wrong OP
If she does a change of address you stay linked to her as her previous address in this period!

no, she needs to tell the bank that her details are not correct, a change of address holds on to your previous addresses.

And you need to return all correspondence return to sender addressee not at this address - that'll help! don't trust her to take care of it

Questioningeverything · 01/08/2017 21:29

Don't wish her all the best... why would you? She's a user. Not your friend, I'd simply send :
No, you may not come collect the cards. I am taking them to the bank to return them as you are fraudulently using my address. I will be informing them of this too.

The end.

EnriqueTheRingBearingLizard · 01/08/2017 21:29

I'd just let her know that you already returned the bank card as she isn't registered at your address. Don't go into anything else, its not your problem, just warn her that she is not to use your address for anything as this constitutes fraud and will be reported.

TinselTwins · 01/08/2017 21:30

UK debt collection is bullshit! They can go after financially connected people and they can go for the easiest target, that would probably be you

I've known this happen to people

Stop the nicely nicely softly with this au pair, this is serious!

easterholidays · 01/08/2017 21:31

Yes the card and related correspondence must go back to a branch OP and they need to know that your address isn't to be associated with her account at all. Otherwise she can potentially show a paper trail going back to your address, and that's what you need to avoid.

I think under the circumstances you're being completely fair, and you do need to protect yourself. Even if she doesn't realise the position it puts you in, you need to nip it in the bud sharpish.

impostersyndrome · 01/08/2017 21:31

Good, you do that. And make sure you keep a paper trail of your communications with the banks and also the au pair. It's worth checking your credit record while you're at it.

Cailleach666 · 01/08/2017 21:31

You need to take them into a branch and talk to e member of staff.

Whether you even reply to her email is up to you.

I wouldn;t, but I would be down to a branch first thing tomorrow.

DaemonPantalaemon · 01/08/2017 21:34

Dear ex au pair,

I have returned your cards to the bank and informed them that you are not connected in any way to my address. I would appreciate it if you did not use my address for such purposes. To do so is actually to commit fraud and I will not hesitate to take legal action should you do anything similar in future. This is not a small issue, this is a big issue, as it has implications for our credit rating, among other things.

I would also like to ask that you destroy the letter saying you are living and working here, as that is no longer true.

I wish you and your parents all the best,

OP

CoolCarrie · 01/08/2017 21:34

Don't be so nice to her, OP, she has got a bloody cheek to do this!
Just let her know you have returned the cards already and try to get to the bank concerned tomorrow. You don't own her anything, you have helped her and her family enough already.

Youcanttaketheskyfromme · 01/08/2017 21:36

Don't just send them back - make sure you speak to someone/make a complaint. You do not need to be a customer to do this.

Original poster
NancyDroop · 01/08/2017 21:36

Eeeek, so I have some decisions to make...

do I open the letters or not. I don't know which bank it is without opening a letter.

How can baliffs go after a different person at a different address? Is that really the case?

OP posts:
DaemonPantalaemon · 01/08/2017 21:36

While I was editing your letter, MrsSchadenfreude came up with an even better version. Use that!

IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 01/08/2017 21:37

Your letter is much too long.

  1. Take the cards back to the bank, and explain your concerns. What the bank do, is no concern of yours, dont worry about it- it's her issue.
  1. send Aupair MrsSch's letter...
"Dear Au Pair,

I have returned your bank cards to the bank and have advised them that you are no longer living here or in my employment. Please do not use my address as your place of residence - to do so is fraud, and a criminal offence in UK.

Please return the letter that I gave you to sort out your NI number, as this is no longer valid.

Best wishes,

OP."

BarbaraofSeville · 01/08/2017 21:37

Whatever the au pair does with the cards, she won't be financially connected to the OP, won't affect the OP's credit rating and the OP will never be liable for any debts run up by the au pair, all assuming that they don't have any joint accounts of course.

If debt collectors show up looking for the au pair, the OP can just prove that she isn't her by showing photo ID. Potential hassle, but not going to cost any money or affect credit rating for the OP.

Clazzer1 · 01/08/2017 21:37

I would also keep an eye on you credit file. If she has used your address now she may have used it on other occasions or in the future. A regular (6 monthly check of your credit file through one of the credit reference agencies would be a good plan.

IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 01/08/2017 21:38

Does the letter have an address on the back of the envelope? Google it and it will tell you which bank it is.

Bumbumtaloo · 01/08/2017 21:39

Definitely speak to the bank she has opened the account with and return all cards etc to them.

Her opening an account at your address shouldn't harm your credit file at all because you won't have established a financial association (see link below) but bailiffs and the like can arrive at your address to chase any debt in her name. I would also double check your credit report to confirm she hasn't taken any joint products with you which would make a financial association.

help.creditexpert.co.uk/help/sv635/Credit_report/financial_associations

Blatherskite · 01/08/2017 21:39

The bank name should be on the back of the envelopes in the "if undelivered, please return to" bit. If not, google the address given and that will tell you which bank.

Bailiffs will assume a connection as it seems that she lives with you at your address. That is where she is registered after all

JaneEyre70 · 01/08/2017 21:39

I'd agree with a PP who said take them into the bank, ask to speak to someone and report what she's done.

Original poster
NancyDroop · 01/08/2017 21:43

BarbaraofSeville the Equifax website was giving me that same information, thank you.

Woods great idea re the bank

Bumbumtaloo how would she be able to set up a joint product without one of us signing?

OP posts:
Hallomiaddicted · 01/08/2017 21:44

Take into the branch and report

Original poster
NancyDroop · 01/08/2017 21:44

Fyi it is Santander, grrr don't have a very local branch. This au pair is the gift that keeps on giving.

OP posts:
Roomster101 · 01/08/2017 21:45

I would return everything to the bank. I wouldn't worry about your credit rating though. I have lived in many places where a previous tenant had CCJ etc against them and it didn't affect my rating.