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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids not allowed - AIBU?

496 replies

SlaggyTwoShoes · 01/08/2017 12:21

Very happy to be told I'm BU but please go gentle if I've somehow been doing things wrong here!!

I've just been turned away from my appointment at clinic where I've been having laser hair removal...because I had my kids with me. It's a 10 minute procedure which I've been having a course of over months so I've always left them (either one or both) sitting on the chairs in reception with my phone to watch tv (very quietly) or pencils and colouring pads. They never run around or misbehave as they've done this a lot - I'm a single mum and have previously lived abroad with them so often haven't had anyone to watch them and just had to bring them with me everywhere.

This clinic is nationwide (uk) and I've been to various locations for a couple of other (quick) procedures and left the kids in reception (the reception is always very quiet and receptionists always offer to keep an eye). I know it's not ideal but figured it's just what people do. Have I got this totally wrong?? This is the first time I've ever been told it's not okay, but it's the first time I've brought them to this particular clinic location. They told me I could leave the kids sitting in the costa coffee opposite (obviously I was never going to do that!) or get someone to watch them...which is going to be really tricky for me. I can't see why I can't leave them sitting safely in their reception for 10 mins like I've always done. So AIBU or are they?

OP posts:
p51642 · 02/08/2017 18:39

the receptionist has every right to refuse as it's not in their job description or responsibilities it would all depend on the individual, some people are more comfortable than others with children and this particular person may not be comfortable watching someone else's children even though you are leaving them at your own risk he/she will feel responsible

UrbanHippie · 02/08/2017 18:45

Well, clearly I'm in the minority but I don't think YBU. I have a 2yr old and a 5yr old and I've often 'parked' them with my phone, watching Paw Patrol in public situations. Once in a charity shop, they sat happily on a chair together reading books while I tried stuff on in the very small changing room. The lady at the till didn't mind at all; she wasn't expected to babysit, they sat quietly on their chair for about 15min. I've had to go to the dentist before and they sat in the waiting area for my 20min appt, again no problems. I doubt PO is expecting the staff to entertain her kids, or has any expectations other than to alert her if there's a serious issue? (A fire, a stranger trying to lure them away with sweets etc) Some children, even young ones, are well (raised) behaved enough to be left alone for a short time without raising holy hell!

InvisibleKittenAttack · 02/08/2017 18:47

thing is, the OP said she knows her DCs would be good, that doesn't mean that other people haven't left real horrors in reception in the past - people who take the piss tend to ruin arrangements like this for others, meaning that companies have blanket bans in place.

That said OP, I dont know about lazer treatment, can it not wait over the 6 weeks they are off school? Just get stuff done like that when they are at school or arrange a playdate for appointments. (Other parents are often happy for the break too over the summer so offer a swap )

justlliloleme · 02/08/2017 18:59

I don't think you're being unreasonable, but neither are the company you are using.
I've always taken my daughter (8) everywhere I've been, nails, doctors, dentist, hairdressers - some of us just don't have any other option.
I've found most people/ companies don't mind if they don't mess about but it's their rules so if they say 'no kids' maybe it's time to go somewhere else. Xx

Curlysue87 · 02/08/2017 19:12

I'm going to go against the grain here and say you are not completely unreasonable.

I'm a single mum also so know the struggle as I too don't have loads of people to hand my children off to when I've got appointments.

I leave my ds in the doctors waiting room when i need to who is 9yrs. My ds is a few yrs older than your eldest but I've been doing it a while now and you know your kids.

I think maybe you should try and stick to the few places you know that are ok with your kids going 😊

hks · 02/08/2017 19:13

id definetly NOT leave them in Costa Coffee alone unless they were at least 10-12yrs
what if they wandered off looking for you or banged into someone with a hot drink whilst you were not there it would be classed as neglect
id try and find a babysitter for an hour whilst you are recieving treatment you could maybe Health visitor if she could recommend anything
i was moaned at once by family planning nurse as i had taken my baby with me to my appointment ..she was alsleep in her pram i had no one to watch her

TinselTwins · 02/08/2017 19:20

Jez OP your kids could be the most angelic well behaved kids on the planet!

That still does not entitle you to favours from strangers!

Besides all that it's better to have laser done in the winter months, Better salons will discourage summer courses of laser. Happily coinciding with when kids are back at school/activities/playdates/parties etc!

Lovingit81 · 02/08/2017 19:24

I can't believe how mean some ppl are, the OP asked for advice and asked us to be gentle. What is wrong with some of you! You are not entitled OP and I can see where you are coming from, it must be really hard having little support. I wouldn't do it and I think in future you need to definitely check as they have every right to say no. It's a shame as like you say it's 10mins and they are only just in reception but it's not ideal. Sorry you've had such a battering on here! Flowers

Arkenfield3001 · 02/08/2017 19:36

I'm actually stunned that you thought it would be okay to take the kids and leave them in the care of the receptionist.

Surely you have friends who could sit with them at Costa Coffee for 10 minutes ?

BoomBoomsCousin · 02/08/2017 19:40

I don't think you're at all entitled OP. YOu have well behaved children who sit quietly and have been accommodated in this fashion for a couple of years. This sort of thing used to be fairly standard and it wasn't a huge burden on receptionists, children weren't running riot everywhere or getting hurt. It's a huge shame we've moved away from being more accommodating to parents, it hurts women most of all of when all children are considered untrustworthy and a big burden and the only suitable "supervisors are direct family or people who have had lots of paperwork filed on their behalf, no matter the situation.

PeapodBurgundy · 02/08/2017 19:44

I don't see an issue with leaving them, so long as you're still responsibel for what happens while they're there (even when the receptionist offers to keep an eye). Although I don;t disagree with the clinic saying they can't be left in order to cover their own backs. As a PP said, a consistent policy throughout the clinics would be helpful all round.

I'm surprised by the amount of people who assume everyone has on tap childcare. I don't have anywhere I can leave my son. Although I don't go anywhere on account of this, so I don't leave him in reception etc so it's a different situation to yours :-)

PeapodBurgundy · 02/08/2017 19:45

*responsible

manicmij · 02/08/2017 19:51

YABU. Would you leave your children with a checkout person in a supermarket while you did a bit of shopping? Leaving the receptionist to be responsible for your children without checking out first is very rude and a bit presumptive. How do you know a person is okay criminal check wise? Definitely would not accept your children if I was the receptionist.

Cocobing29 · 02/08/2017 19:53

My children are 5 and 3 they come with me for nails and brow wax and tint but only because both ladies that do are friends i wouldn't enter a new salon without asking first i only take with me during school hols so 1 maybe 2 appointments

user1489675144 · 02/08/2017 19:55

I do think it is unreasonable to have a person paid as a receptionist watch a strangers children... it really isn't her job

QuackPorridgeBacon · 02/08/2017 20:01

I can't believe how many people can't read but still feel they are up to typing a response Hmm

The OP has not asked for any "favours" nor has she "expected" anything. Maybe stop putting words into others mouths and actually fucking read.

Lizkin · 02/08/2017 20:04

YANBU.
You know your kids best, if you can trust them to sit quietly and you know they won't be a bother then I think it's fine.
I have to take my kids (6 and 5) with me to appointments sometimes and it's not a problem where I live, the other day I had x-rays at the dentist and the kids were fine waiting outside for the few minutes that it took. Or another time, my babysitter cancelled at the last minute when I had to go and teach - my kids sat quietly with a tablet and a snack each in an adjoining room, absolutely no bother.
But I know my kids - they will sit and wait. Other people, who don't know your kids, are within their rights to refuse to be the only adult in the room (I won't say they're being asked to childmind because they're not). They're NBU - they perceive the risk differently. But YANBU either.

user1489675144 · 02/08/2017 20:05

You asked if you are BU or are they BU - IMO

YABU

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 02/08/2017 20:06

Op 'expected' to leave her children unaccompanied in a company's reception.

She hadn't been to the salon before so imo it's unreasonable to assume.

QuackPorridgeBacon · 02/08/2017 20:10

She had been to other locations of the same branch though. Maybe they should advertise or mention the no child policy so this doesn't happen in future.

The company are more than entitled to refuse the children to sit and wait. Not a problem.

It's the attitude of ones on here and the lack of being able to read that is an issue. If you cannot read and understand a bit of writing, then do not respond as if you can.

MuvaWifey77 · 02/08/2017 20:14

This reply has been deleted

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MuvaWifey77 · 02/08/2017 20:19

Ps:. Not a matter of trust . Matter of policy . If you go somewhere and it says "no unsupervised kids allowed" are you going to leave your kid there? Because you trust them? It's not up to clients . It's policy . Take it or leave it. 🙄

lastrose123 · 02/08/2017 20:19

The OP was not expecting her children to be looked after. She was leaving them in the reception at her own risk. The company was not being unreasonable in saying it is not a risk they are prepared to allow. However in my opinion the OP was not UR either they just have different perspectives.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 02/08/2017 20:20

Quack - op rang up the other salons beforehand. I still think it's presumptive to turn up with your kids when you have an appointment that you know they cannot be in the same room with you for.

I'm not sure what you're referring to with your other comment though - about people not being able to read...? (Unless you mean the poster who got all confused about the nth degree)

JustMe77 · 02/08/2017 20:26

It's not that your bu....However their insurance won't cover minors on the premises so if the CQC did an unexpected visit the place would be in serious breach and risk very serious consequences.