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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids not allowed - AIBU?

496 replies

SlaggyTwoShoes · 01/08/2017 12:21

Very happy to be told I'm BU but please go gentle if I've somehow been doing things wrong here!!

I've just been turned away from my appointment at clinic where I've been having laser hair removal...because I had my kids with me. It's a 10 minute procedure which I've been having a course of over months so I've always left them (either one or both) sitting on the chairs in reception with my phone to watch tv (very quietly) or pencils and colouring pads. They never run around or misbehave as they've done this a lot - I'm a single mum and have previously lived abroad with them so often haven't had anyone to watch them and just had to bring them with me everywhere.

This clinic is nationwide (uk) and I've been to various locations for a couple of other (quick) procedures and left the kids in reception (the reception is always very quiet and receptionists always offer to keep an eye). I know it's not ideal but figured it's just what people do. Have I got this totally wrong?? This is the first time I've ever been told it's not okay, but it's the first time I've brought them to this particular clinic location. They told me I could leave the kids sitting in the costa coffee opposite (obviously I was never going to do that!) or get someone to watch them...which is going to be really tricky for me. I can't see why I can't leave them sitting safely in their reception for 10 mins like I've always done. So AIBU or are they?

OP posts:
JustMe77 · 02/08/2017 20:29

Duh posted too fast
....this will apply to a lot of Doctor or qualified aesthetician led clinics.

MuvaWifey77 · 02/08/2017 20:29

Anyone with common sense would intervene if they saw a kid alone playing with something harmful or destroying private property , playing with product cabinet etc... the things all your lovely trusted kids do when you're not watching... so the "not expect the kids to be looked after" it's one of the most annoying excuses we hear from parents who leave their kids to be bloody looked after.

Mittens1969 · 02/08/2017 20:35

From what the op said, it's not set out as policy, as she's left her children in the reception in other clinics in the same chain. She assumed it would be the same, which is why she was surprised. Maybe it needs to be clarified in their literature so such misunderstandings don't happen.

Mittens1969 · 02/08/2017 20:40

@MuvaWifey77, but op's children are not toddlers, they're well behaved six and seven year olds and therefore not likely to play with the coffee machine or run into the street. But yes I wouldn't feel comfortable doing that with my DDs.

38cody · 02/08/2017 20:43

If other branches of same clinic have been fine with it then I can why you thought it would ok. Just go to a different one. It's not really unreasonable, just a misunderstanding - you'll get loads of ,entitled' comments - MN's live that word at the moment. The receptionist wasn't wrong but since it's been fine elsewhere with the same company - you weren't unreasonable either,

JustMe77 · 02/08/2017 20:44

I think unfortunately when policies are implemented or updated not everyone is in the loop that should be. So even within one clinic you might find different staff will have differing ideas about how things should be, but similar enough for it to not be obviously noticeable to management....till an issues raised. Especially if there is a frequent turn over of staff.
I wouldn't take it personally as frustrating as it is. I'd just email their H.O and get it in black and white.

AnnabelC · 02/08/2017 21:03

OP. It must be so hard being a single parent but can't their Dad help you out because there must be lots of occasions you need help or alternatively set up a single parent babysitting circle. Just a thought.

Mumof3darlings · 02/08/2017 21:04

OP, my kids are similar ages to yours and have done what you do loads of times and I have seen loads of other people do it too in many different salons. I travel a lot and often have the likes of a wash and blow dry when I'm away and I don't expect the receptionist/staff to watch my kids as I only do it (as you do) because I know they don't need watching! I'm in the same or next room and tell them that if they need me they just shout! Never ever happened. We go into the shower and leave our kids in another or at least I do! What's the difference? I don't understand the big deal here.

Mumof3darlings · 02/08/2017 21:16

OP I'm so sorry some people have been mean to you on here. They must be very lucky and have support for when they need their laser appointments! Or maybe they are just very hairy Hmm

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 02/08/2017 21:27

*I used to be a recepcionist at a beauty clinic and mums left their children at recepcion all the time,

Nope. I call bullshit. No way you could possibly have been a receptionist when you can't even spell "reception" or "receptionist".*

was 5 when I started going to nursery on my own, at 6 o'clock in the morning when my mum had to start her shift and wait until 7 on the nursery steps until they would open.

Yeah, there's a reason people don't do that anymore. It's called bad parenting.

or has any expectations other than to alert her if there's a serious issue? (A fire, a stranger trying to lure them away with sweets etc)

Wtf?! To make sure nobody lures them away she'd have to be watching them, and that is not her job nor her responsibility. If they were lured away the only person to blame would be the OP for dumping her kids.

harshbuttrue1980 · 02/08/2017 21:33

YABU. If you are well-off enough to be able to afford laser hair removal, then surely you're well off enough to be able to afford a babysitter to look after the kids while you get your beauty treatments. Expecting receptionists to do your childcare is unreasonable, and so is expecting your kids to amuse themselves in a public waiting area while you get cosmetic treatments done.

Blueink · 02/08/2017 21:34

They are a bit young to assume it's ok for them to wait for u in the reception area. Ok for a sensible older child who will sit and read quietly & where u don't expect the receptionist to mind them for you. I do agree with u that there is a difference being in the same location though, versus over the road in a public cafe. Yours are too young for either, especially as the older one cannot be expected to care for the younger at that age. As you are not allowed to take them into the room, you have been lucky with the location you generally use.

flickertee · 02/08/2017 21:35

Hi OP I'm just going to go ahead and assume you were at a Sk:n clinic? That's where I go for my LUXURIOUS hair removal - Hollywood and armpits, just cos!
I'm assuming it's there because they always mention in the email appointment reminders and I think they have a sign up in the waiting room too. Have been tempted to bring my DS before, he's 13 so more than capable of looking after himself but I didn't want to risk it !

BananaThePoet · 02/08/2017 21:38

Young children are not safe to be left in a place they aren't familiar with and without someone they know to look after them..Especially well behaved children. Well behaved children do as they are told by adults and if they are left with complete strangers they could easily be led away by a convincing adult who might say they have come to take them back to mummy. It isn't enough to worry about whether they'll annoy or misbehave their safety is the most important thing and a receptionist might not remember what you look like and let them go with a stranger by mistake or they may be distracted by their paid work. I don't think it is safe practice to leave kids alone in waiting areas even if there is a receptionist prepared to keep an eye on them. Being hairy is not the end of the world.

Floggingmolly · 02/08/2017 22:12

Why are you tempted to bring your 13 year old, flicker?!

Lillithxxx · 02/08/2017 22:37

I went for a clinic consultation with a view to having IPL hair removal. The cost was insane. I bought a Philips Lumea instead, best purchase EVER (for removal of pigmented hair) I've never looked back. Oh and no childcare issues either. Just saying.

flickertee · 02/08/2017 22:41

Rather than leave him home alone Flogging. I know he's 13 and he is more than sensible but I still feel a little anxious when he's on his own in the house

flickertee · 02/08/2017 22:42

Lillie I bought a lumea but it was rubbish! I think because my hair isn't very dark

Original poster
SlaggyTwoShoes · 02/08/2017 22:45

I've been reeling a bit from the venom that this has brought out. I'm baffled by some of the snooty responses and put downs on my parenting abilities, vanity (fuck off to all those who've said it's a luxury beauty treatment - it's not) and supposed sense of entitlement. I ASKED NO ONE FOR A FAVOUR OR FOR BABYSITTING. I expected I could do as I have previously done and leave them in a waiting area, entertained. I HAD been to that clinic location before and so was comfortable that it was appropriate to leave them - I just hadn't taken the DC last time. I have never had an email confirmation. No one has mentioned I couldn't bring them so I was shocked and disappointed that I was stuck at the clinic with the kids and about to lose a paid for session. Their dad doesn't live in the country, friends and family live miles alway so I rely on myself nearly 100% of the time.

I've already said right at the beginning that I hadn't been told about their insurance policy and I'm not ashamed that I didn't think that was even a possibility given that they've been so accommodating in the past - even the doctor at one of the clinics said I should bring my DS for one appointment. Which I did. He was an angel.

I've given birth & lived with my dc in various 3rd world countries and lived in other non UK but not 3rd world countries and the attitude here in the uk towards mothers and children shocks me. Children are barely tolerated in public by comparison to everywhere else I've lived and it's really sad (and before you start not this doesn't mean I've become entitled - if anything it's made me more paranoid here about having well behaved children in public). I've been in genuinely very dangerous situations with my dc and this luxury, tucked away clinic with its empty waiting room wasn't one of them. The suggestions of the weird things 2 entertained dc could get up to in such a short space of time have veered into the realms of fantasy.

I won't be posting again because obviously I'm now naked and about to walk the streets of the town where I live with a stern looking woman (aaaaaargh - I think it's you?) ringing a bell behind me shouting 'SHAME!....SHAME!'.

OP posts:
WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 02/08/2017 22:48

I ASKED NO ONE FOR A FAVOUR OR FOR BABYSITTING

So if a stranger walked off with your kids you wouldn't blame the receptionist? Good.

MissAlligned · 02/08/2017 22:50

OP don't take any notice of these hitters. I seriously don't know where these people crawl from. How the fuck do some posters on here think most parents manage to get on with their lives? I left my 7yo in a reception area in the dentists, they were fine. Thinking about it, I think my 4yo was there too. It was a responsibility and a 'risk' I was happy to take. People do it. Normal people with normal lives.

ferriswheel · 02/08/2017 22:50

Omg. Yadnbu.

For the record I'm am almost but not quite yet lone parent. Previous to this I'd have been all smug/naive and said yabu.

But, I bet everyone else in the same shoes would have done the same thing.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 02/08/2017 22:58

I left my 7yo in a reception area in the dentists, they were fine.

That's fine. As long as if they were lured away by strangers, you wouldn't have been furious with the receptionist.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 02/08/2017 23:07

Haha. Blimey.

I've only ever asked you how old the kids were when you started to leave them in the salon.

I never judged you for your treatment. You can get your toenails gold plated if you like. I just said you need to factor in childcare to go with it.

I also (contrary to your posting) never judged you on your finances. Yes childcare is expensive. But to use my analogy from earlier - I want to see a west end play, I budget for the train fare there too. It's part of the package.
Or get a friend. Or holiday club.

I've just said (a few times really...) you can't assume it's ok to bring your kids there if they will be unaccompanied.

To be honest I've seen more venom from elfinpre towards me!

starlight13 · 02/08/2017 23:08

YANBU at all! I expect that everyone else has an abundance of people who can help with childcare at these times and they have no idea how difficult it can be to attend appointments. I'm assuming that these hair removal appointments are something that you are doing for yourself - maybe for personal confidence or self esteem so good on you.
It seems that none of the spiteful posters here have ever taken their children along to hair appointments, school parents' evenings - clue - 'parents' is in the title but it doesn't stop the vast majority bringing their kids along, assuming that they are being looked after just because it is a school - their screaming kids running around while your trying to talk to a teacher FFS. Oh, and do you know what? I've even seen these fantastic parents leave their children in the seat of a supermarket trolley whilst they walk back to another aisle to fetch something! Why don't you angry posters just wise up, realise that life isn't your perfect little bubbles and like the OP has - try some time living in a 3rd world country to expand your horizons a little.