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AIBU?

Offensive Note On Car Today Whilst Shopping

162 replies

Drycleanonly7 · 31/07/2017 19:45

...to feel saddened.

After shopping with my husband and three year old I discovered I had been left the following note under my wipers: "You stupid bitch. Where's your child? You have parked in a mother and baby space. Did you leave them at home?"

My three year old sat in the trolley today as we shopped. He arrivived in his car seat.

People disappoint me all the time at the moment. I did get the Manager to check the CCTV but they didnt see the note being placed.

OP posts:
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AwaywiththePixies27 · 01/08/2017 11:55

They didn’t have internet when I was a kid, or washing machines when my mother was a child. We coped but we’d have bloody well used them if they existed. Crap argument

They still don't have them in many child friendly places. Yet you suddenly dont need them then. If you seriously can't cope without a P&C space may I suggest you take up online shopping instead?

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AwaywiththePixies27 · 01/08/2017 11:56

zaph Flowers

That's why people who do this are twats.

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yumyumpoppycat · 01/08/2017 13:16

The parent's queueing might have children who are 'runners' for whatever reason and it is safer to park nearer the shop.

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puddingpen · 01/08/2017 13:20

Were there multiple parent child spaces? Maybe it was put on a different car and the entitled idiot who had parked in a child space without a child moved it to your car?

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Greyponcho · 01/08/2017 13:52

It was unnecessary and uncalled for.
I think it doesn't help when it's unexpected- I got a proper shitty note from someone saying that where I was parked 'wasn't a parking space' and that I 'needed to learn to park'.
It was a parking space, it was parked brilliantly in the space left by their monstrously large vehicle, (which yes, they would have to pull out to let passengers in - no child seats in there/other obvious reasons to faff strapping kids in etc).
I was doing some Christmas shopping on the first pain free day I'd had in months - it ruined my day & made me cry as I wasn't expecting it.
YANBU to be upset by it.
Had I parked like an arse, then yes, I would have deserved a note.

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pigyoinkoinks · 01/08/2017 17:45

YANBU to be upset, I would be too... BUT I don't think you should dwell on it too much. People that leave notes like that are di*ks and will never change.
Just focus on having a lovely evening instead Smile

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Skylander01 · 01/08/2017 17:50

This would have upset me too. It's probably a small nuisance on top of a large pile of modern day annoyances as we weave our way round the modern world. I'm only 50 but so much has changed in my world, eg. People never locked their doors, doors were held open for you, shop assistants looked you in the eye and said "please" and "thank you" if appropriate. Telephones didn't used to be marketing tools, no mobile phones, no Internet, car tax was straightforward, parking was more available and comparatively cheaper, meter wardens were kinder - as we're police when/if caught speeding (as long as you had a legitimate reason). So bearing in mind every persons life experience is different, it could easily be upsetting. Ifor this happened to me I would have loved to see what this cowardly self appointed parking guardian looked like too! Not to confront them but I'm sure I'd have got a laugh out of it!

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BlondeB83 · 01/08/2017 17:54

If I see nasty notes left on cars I generally remove them - absolutely no need and can make someone feel really shit for the rest of the day.

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Shriekable · 01/08/2017 18:09

Notes like that are completely unnecessary - please try to forget it. They were either having a very bad day or are a complete twat (I'm thinking the latter).

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TinselTwins · 01/08/2017 18:16

I think some people patrol P&C spaces looking for an outlet for their aggression!

I've had this before, I avoid P&C areas they attract the worst kind of people (and the worst drivers too!)

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Toysintheattic29 · 01/08/2017 18:37

I just feel sorry for people like this, who are ignorant and judgmental as well as being plain nasty. Try not to be upset - rather be glad you aren't like that

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Jux · 01/08/2017 18:38

But what wre you going to do once you saw their car and got the reg, or saw their face? You can't get their address from DVL,A. Were you going to drive around the area (how big an area? Our local supermarket serves a radius of about 8 miles, and when we lived in London we drove 5 miles to get to the nearest Asda).

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Comedyboobs · 01/08/2017 18:42

Sorry you're having a rubbish day. Ignore & bin the message Flowers

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Smudge100 · 01/08/2017 19:13

This obviously bothered you because you got the store to check the Cctv. I'm wondering why. An image of them leaving the note wouldn't have provided you with much more information than the note did, certainly not their name and address! Since you did no wrong, in the sense that you had a child with you and were therefore perfectly entitled to the space, i would dismiss any further thoughts about it from your mind. The individual was clearly in error. It is rather discomforting to realise thst one has been observed without realising
it though. Believe it or not, there are people out there who like to spread poison and it doesn't much matter to them if today's victim is guilty of what they are accusing them or not. The object of the exercise is to rsttle them.

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TinselTwins · 01/08/2017 19:14

This obviously bothered you because you got the store to check the Cctv. I'm wondering why.

Why? Because it's rattling/scary if someone demonstrates aggression to you!

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Drycleanonly7 · 01/08/2017 19:16

Jux - they might have still been shopping, or regulars. It would have a local client base, I think. And yes, I would have have got the Police involved if the cameras showed who did it. Each to their own hey? Perhaps they would think twice before they did it again to another 'blameless' parent.

OP posts:
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jessebuni · 01/08/2017 19:23

Oh I've had this happen a few times. I have 2 DCs and for the past 5 years I've had 2/3 door cars. People often don't even check for car seats and just assume. I had someone shout at me as I got out my car once came up and started demanding big I was blind or just ignorant and selfish. They looked pretty stupid when I then turned around to lean the seat forward and leant into the back of the car to get my 10month old and 4 year old out. Topped off by both kids then crying. 😁 Don't worry about it, instead you just get to feel smug at how much of an idiot they are.

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Lovingit81 · 01/08/2017 20:07

That's really horrible poor u Flowers it would upset me but just try and forget it. Shame on them x

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IFinishedTheBiscuits · 01/08/2017 20:52

Sorry you had a bad day OP. It's horrible when you're going about your day minding your own business and a complete stranger has to be bloody nasty to you.
FWIW I've got a 9yr old, 7yr old and 9 month old so I've recently started using parent and child spaces again. So I constantly see spaces used by people without kids, eg office workers getting lunch. I'd NEVER leave a note, it's nothing to do with me!

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AyUpMiDuck · 01/08/2017 20:58

YANBU to be saddened, but you have to move on....

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IFinishedTheBiscuits · 01/08/2017 21:00

Also, you can't just go round leaving notes calling an innocent stranger a stupid bitch - surely that comes under threatening or abusive behaviour laws?

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cuckooplusone · 01/08/2017 21:08

I think the note was aggressive, but I would interpret it to mean that you don't have a baby. I have a two year old and don't park in them now that I don't have to take the car seat out, so don't need the room. I admit silently judging people who park in them with older children, but I would always err on the side of assuming the kid had SEN or another issue.

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mumto2two · 01/08/2017 22:02

What a horrible note OP, am not surprised you felt upset Flowers

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user1476641978 · 01/08/2017 22:06

So rude. Can see plenty of people on here obviously find it acceptable to speak to people like a piece of shit. Hopefully he crashed on the way home.

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Kattekit · 01/08/2017 22:29

I can certainly relate OP, it's people like your mystery note writer that stops me from using my blue badge. I find it so tough that if I've finally plucked up the courage to leave the house then to use a disabled bay when there's lots of other people is an absolute nightmare for me. I don't have a wheelchair or a really visible disability, but carrying anything for any period of time can leave me in bed for days or weeks on strong pain killers.

It's a vicious circle, go out worry about parking walk to far end up stuck in bed, or go out park with badge then get abuse (varies from parking in disabled bays to the speed I walk) leaves me stuck at home stressed and worried about going out again.

The speed I walk thing was in the supermarket by a very angry man, he really had a go, took a good few months till I went on my own again.

If only people could be a bit kinder.

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