To think people treat you different if you are fat

[Mammylamb]

I have recently put on a few stone which I need to lose. I don't know if I'm imagining it but I feel that strangers were nicer to me when I was slimmer. It sounds daft, but today at a play park I noticed women looking me up and down and one woman pushed past me (quite rudely) to get into the park. When we went to the swings she couldn't grab her bag quickly enough (really, I wasn't going to steal it.). I know that I'm less attractive when I'm fatter and it makes me look a bit "rough" and (whisper) less middle class. My mums weight also fluctuates and she said she notices a difference in how folk treat her too. Do you think this is right, or are we imagining it?

OP - TOTALLY AGREE! I have been saying this for YEARS!!!!

I used to be Size 6. I was given so much respect, spoken to like an adult. Pleasant conversation with strangers and treated equally, it was fab.
Then I got ill, thyroid stopped working properly, became a size 22. Now I get treated with such disgust, people pushing past me like you said. I also find people talking to me as though I'm a bit 'special' or a like I'm a child. Really upsets me and I wish people wouldn't be so sickeningly judgemental.

I also get followed round every shop I go into presumably because I don't wear make up and hair is usually ever so slightly greasy (both due to a skin condition on my scalp & face).

It's soul destroying

WellySox What did you say to her? PLEASE tell me you knocked her down a peg or two???

Count I have one out of each of those stereotypes!! (Not the tattoo - eugh!) which category do I fall into? (Genuine question) x

Another one totally agreeing. I was naturally thin/skinny as a kid, but in my late teens/early twenties, i lost a LOT of weight. I was 7 1/2 stone (I'm tall). I got quite a reasonable amount of male attention that was all "you're lovely and slim, aren't you", and other girls were generally quite envious "look at your WRISTS!"; then I got a bit fatter (up to between 8 - 9 stone). I got a LOT more male attention (clearly only the 'specialists' liked really thin girls).

Now I weigh around 17 stone - I'm fucking huge (and hate it). I'm invisible. But I'm coming up to 50... I guess I'd be more invisible in any case (also happily married, so don't care about the male attention).

I agree with OP. I put on weight after having children and there is definitely a 'body fat check' and look of disgust that some people give.

Just last week in the paper there was a piece on social climbing and how easy it was to ingratiate yourself.into society. Basically a lot of behaviour was acceptable if you brazened it out but they warned 'do not get fat'

Sometimes people can be equally unkind to the nderweight as well. When I was quite underweight - I was unwell - I would get all sorts of snide comments, packets of biscuits chucked at me, you name it. When others behave like this, it only reflects on themselves IMO.

OP is spot on.

I say that as a very overweight person whose weight has tended to yo-yo up and down over the years due to medical issues (thyroid).

Ignore those who try to say otherwise. They are talking out of their arses.

I am size 16 and 14st. I recently went to a salon to have my regular bikini wax as the mobile therapist I usually use went on maternity leave and I wanted to try Lycon waxing (I highly recommend it!).
The beautician was at a guess in her 50s (not sure if that is relevant?) and very tiny, probably a 4/6. She rummaged around in the cupboard (not a euphemism ) and produced a paper thong and said "we don't usually use these, we normally just ask clients to take underwear off, but you can wear these to protect your dignity".

make of that what you will, but it has been playing on my mind a lot and the only conclusion I can come to is because I am over weight.

There are so many trolls on these chats tonight.

Chasing - are you by any chance Kate Moss or Naomi Campbell? I highly doubt it. Keep your revolting opinions to yourself or otherwise, spend some money on a course for decorum and empathy and shut up if you have nothing nice to say.

Interestingly I have noticed the same responses when I let my hair go grey.

Certain women react quite badly to slim women, men tend not to, IME (depending on your definition of badly) - but I reckon far more people, men and women, react badly to fat people. A lot of it is definitely sexist too. Fat women get so much more shit than fat men, and the threshold is lower for it.

Re the few posters who said they work with overweight women in management positions who always look well-presented, it made me think of my organisation.

The women in leadership roles in my workplace are without exception slim, young, stylish and very attractive.

I don't judge people on their size, but I do judge on what they're wearing- even though I try not to!

Do you dress differently since gaining weight? Haven't read whole thread so sorry if it's been covered.

How you present yourself says a lot. If you're groomed with well fitting clothes, people treat you differently. On days when I wear my gym clothes (hoody and jogging pants) I notice people are less polite and shop assistants less helpful than if I'm wearing skinny jeans, silk blouse and make up!

I'm the troll? Hilarious.

I think larger people do get treated differently, but I'm not sure about the whole bigger/working class thing? Are you implying working class people live off take always and junk food?

I do think people discriminate on the basis of looks in general. I'm a polite and friendly person (maybe a bit on the shy side). But I have a pretty large and masculine looking nose. When I'm with friends and introduced to someone new, people regularly blank me. It has to be a snap decision, as they don't know me.

I honestly think people are prejudiced against me (probably unconsciously) because big noses are associated with negative characteristics - e.g. Nanny McFee's nose shrinks as she becomes more of a sympathetic character. I believe being overweight has the same issues. It's not just looks, it's also society's attitudes - if you're overweight you're lazy, lower class etc. It's not true, obviously but the perception is there.

I remember Dr Phil doing an experiment on looks. His son, who's pretty ok looking, wore 'ugly' makeup. He couldn't believe how he was sidelined in shops and just treated that bit worse. It's a real pity,

I haven't bashed anyone for being fat.

www.poverty.org.uk/63/index.shtml

suggests that the groups with the lowest levels of obesity in the UK are poor men and rich women, but if you look at graph 3, the differences between the sexes in each income bracket are huge. In the poorest fifth of the UK population women are far more likely than men to be obese, and in the richest fifth of the UK population, women are far less likely to be obese than their male equivalents. So while there doesn't seem to be a straightforward link between social class and obesity, rich women are much thinner than poorer women.

I've been very overweight, slightly overweight and very slim and I found I did get treated differently :( it shouldn't happen but it does i think because subconsciously people associate being overweight with being greedy and lazy maybe therefore they have a negative opinion of you from the outset. Like I say it's not right but I think it does happen

Gucci, you are right in general but it is not universal. Some senior women in work are overweight (and men of course) it is just less so than in the poorer sections of society. The richest woman in Australia is rather large. Angela Merkel is not the size of Mrs May. Mind you North Korea's leader (male) probably wins the prize - fat Kim or whatever he is known as is from a different culture - where fat means you are not being starved through lack of food.

I know a few City law firm female partners who struggle with their weight. Actually a few may be more than happy with the weight, but I suspect most people who are overweight would prefer to lose a bit.

No one should ever be rude to others and some of the things on here are dreadful that people have had to suffer. If someone has grey hair (most people near where I live if you go into Waitrose mid morning have grey hair - we are OAP central) it would be appalling if they were treated badly. I can understand men or women finding healthy weight attractive people sexy which is not being rude or nasty of course but that is a world away from treating people more generally in a bad way just because of how they look.

It doesn't help that overweight women are so jealous of those who are not. I constantly get asked "how do you stay so slim?" and am told "you're so lucky to be so slim". Of course I can't respond "I stay slim by not overeating" as that would be rude.

Given that two-thirds of adults in the U.K. are overweight or obese, this whole thread is a bit odd. Being fat is the norm, so relating it to class or attributing different behaviour based on being fat seems unlikely.

It has to be easier for rich women to be thinner. They have the ability to use money for great food, following diets, paying fir personal trainers etc.

You are not wrong OP. In my large family and friends group, I am one of the largest women I know. I'm a size 12/14. A couple are overweight, but very few. It just doesn't seem to happen, or be acceptable.

I do think it happens but I don't think it has anything to do with class. Thats not fat bashing. Thats my opinion.

Most definitely a thing OP. sucks doesn't it? The worst I've seen it is from medical staff who know exactly why I've put on weight (steroids) but act like I happily sit at home and scoff kebab and chips every night. Even with all my issues I still try and do as much walking and exercising as I can.

Be kind to yourself. .