To think people treat you different if you are fat

[Mammylamb]

I have recently put on a few stone which I need to lose. I don't know if I'm imagining it but I feel that strangers were nicer to me when I was slimmer. It sounds daft, but today at a play park I noticed women looking me up and down and one woman pushed past me (quite rudely) to get into the park. When we went to the swings she couldn't grab her bag quickly enough (really, I wasn't going to steal it.). I know that I'm less attractive when I'm fatter and it makes me look a bit "rough" and (whisper) less middle class. My mums weight also fluctuates and she said she notices a difference in how folk treat her too. Do you think this is right, or are we imagining it?

[ArgyMargy]

Helena you can get breast reduction surgery on the NHS. It's not unusual.

[ThinkOfTheHorses]

100% a thing - people treat me way better when I'm thinner and when I wear makeup x

[ExtraPineappleExtraHam]

It's a fact that if a slim woman throws on some joggers and a hoodie, people assume that she's been to the gym but if a bigger lady does it then people think she's lazy.
I find some women are nicer to me when I'm bigger, less of a threat I guess. I get the jolly fat friend role offered to my quite a bit 'you're so funny, I wish I could just not care what anyone thinks like you do!'

[HelenaDove]

Argy yes im not disputing that . And im not particularly bothered about it.

But there are people on another thread insisting that breasts WILL get smaller if women lose weight.

And i saw a doctor on a Channel 4 doc a couple of years ago insist the same His patient lost 5 stone but no loss on the breasts Its this insistence that women can somehow WILL the weight off their breasts that pisses me off. And its misogynistic because overweight men dont get told that weight deffo will come off a certain part of THEIR body.

[Isetan]

If you're self conscious about anything about yourself then it's natural to assume that other people are focussing on that too but the reality, more often or not, is that most people couldn't give a toss. Personally, if someone is rude to me I don't think it's something to do wit me, I think it has everything to do with them. Whenever someone stares, ususally children because they are less subtle, I stare straight back and the reaction to my silently calling them out, is always embarrassment on their part.

Recently I enrolled at a gym and during the intake I was asked what I wanted to focus on and I said my post pregnancy jelly belly, to which he asked how old and I said ten and he went off on a ten months post delivery is nothing rant and he'd wish women weren't so bloody hard on themselves. To which I countered ten years not ten moths, he looked embarrassed and apologised. I let out a huge laugh and said he was absolutely right but I definitely wasn't in the too hard on themselves category.

I pretty much look the same (normal weight as opposed to just under) but my couldn't give a rats arse what people think of me, has definitely stopped the almost crippling paranoia. Do not underestimate what self confidence or lack theirof, has on other people. Confidence is more of an attractive trait on a person.

If I could go back in time and talk to my younger self, I would definitely tell myself to chill and not let my insecurities be my focus because they most probably not anyone else's.

I'm not disputing that some people behave badly to other people but they are in the minority.

[MaisyPops]

If you're self conscious about anything about yourself then it's natural to assume that other people are focussing on that too but the reality, more often or not, is that most people couldn't give a toss. Personally, if someone is rude to me I don't think it's something to do wit me, I think it has everything to do with them
This. There's a couple of bigger ladies who have taken up running near me. I pass them and smile and say morning etc. Yes, I've noticed they are larger than most but what I'm actually thinking is 'good on them'.

Same in the gym. Everyone is different shapes and sizes, but everyone is lovely because we've all had to start somewhere and we are all there for the same reasons (exception is the minor shared knowing look if you go on a Saturday morning and you're waiting for a machine but there's a group of women in full makeup & trendy coordinating gym wear doing more chatting whilst sat around a machine rather than using it).

[TipTopTipTopClop]

And i saw a doctor on a Channel 4 doc a couple of years ago insist the same His patient lost 5 stone but no loss on the breasts Its this insistence that women can somehow WILL the weight off their breasts that pisses me off. And its misogynistic because overweight men dont get told that weight deffo will come off a certain part of THEIR body.

Maybe you're just atypical. This is not misogyny.

[OohMavis]

Yep, this is a thing. I started a thread about it a few years ago actually and the consensus was that yes, this is definitely a thing.

I also get spoken to and treated better when I'm wearing make-up. I think it's innate in most people to draw more towards people who are attractive. In most peoples' case that is thinner and prettier, and most people prefer women wearing make-up - whether they realise it or not.

[Lucysky2017]

(Just a point on the thread title it is treat you "differently" not "different". It is the same as "I eat heathily" which is correct rather than "I eat healthy" which is wrong unless you add "food" after "healthy".... and yes it's relevant as people will treat you differently from other people if you say you are "treated different" rather than "in a different way" or "differently".....)

[TeaCake5]

Thread now in the daily mail ffs.

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4750216/Do-treat-fat-people-differently.html

[HelenaDove]

Some of the people commenting underneath the DM article are......................duh...................proving the whole point of this thread.

[ArgyMargy]

Ooh I think this is my first thread that's made it to the DM!