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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think people treat you different if you are fat

312 replies

Mammylamb · 30/07/2017 19:49

I have recently put on a few stone which I need to lose. I don't know if I'm imagining it but I feel that strangers were nicer to me when I was slimmer. It sounds daft, but today at a play park I noticed women looking me up and down and one woman pushed past me (quite rudely) to get into the park. When we went to the swings she couldn't grab her bag quickly enough (really, I wasn't going to steal it.). I know that I'm less attractive when I'm fatter and it makes me look a bit "rough" and (whisper) less middle class. My mums weight also fluctuates and she said she notices a difference in how folk treat her too. Do you think this is right, or are we imagining it?

OP posts:
ChasingHighs · 30/07/2017 19:52

Rougher? Less Middle class? I think it might be your attitude not your weight.

gumphlumph · 30/07/2017 19:54

Mammylamb it's not you. It's definitely a thing. I found it the other way - people who had taken no notice of my were suddenly friendly after I lost weight. I avoided them like the plague. Some people are shallow, that's the top and bottom of it.

Original poster
Mammylamb · 30/07/2017 19:55

Could well be. I am just being honest. When I look in the mirror right now I look like someone you wouldn't want to mess with when actually I am a softy. I should point out that these women appeared very middle class.

OP posts:
SpartacusSaiman · 30/07/2017 19:56

You think your weight makes you look 'rough'?

delftblue · 30/07/2017 19:57

It's definitely a thing. The bigger i've been the more worthless i think people have treated me as. I'm friendly and warm and kind. People stop seeing that. They just see my fat. The slimmer I get the more people give me the time of day

ChasingHighs · 30/07/2017 19:58

I don't really understand. Do you think all overweight people are rough?

MaisyPops · 30/07/2017 19:58

Honnestly, I can't see that all being because you carry a bit of weight.

If I'm out and about and my bag is out and someone sits near by, I move it out the way and/or closer to me because it's not ok to leave my things lying about the place and who knows somebody might want to steal it.

The woman looking you up and down, maybe that's to do with size. If someone's just carrying a bit of extra then I wouldn't notice but if someone was fat as in bordering on obsession fat then I would notice.

I wonder if you're feeling a bit rubbish and reading way too much into things.

regularbutpanickingabit · 30/07/2017 19:59

Most definitely a thing. Sucks, doesn't it?

TeaCake5 · 30/07/2017 19:59

On the recent class thread many posters said being fat was a clear indication of being working class!

Whosthemummynow · 30/07/2017 19:59

I've always found the opposite!

SpartacusSaiman · 30/07/2017 20:00

I am overweight at the moment and dont find it an issue.

I am respected at work. New people like me. I travel to different offices and no one makes me feel less of a person.

Sometimes i wonder if its a thing or its our insecurities picking up on things that have always been there.

I actually feel more confident in the last few years. I know i come across as confident and, i think, that makes a difference.

Guccibelt · 30/07/2017 20:00

I do get what you mean. You are saying something which is quite uncomfortable to acknowledge but I'm sure it's the case as I have experienced it the other way round.

ChasingHighs · 30/07/2017 20:00

So the OP thinks that people treat you differently if they think you are WC?

justthesolution · 30/07/2017 20:01

Chasing try and be a bit kinder, the OP is feeling like people are reacting differently to her due to weight gain and would like other opinions as to whether others feel the same.

MaisyPops · 30/07/2017 20:01

tea
I thought that thread was something like 'it's easier to end up being larger when you're less well off because so much healthy food is more expensive & it's cheaper to buy junk'

PassedTheMoronTest · 30/07/2017 20:01

I have a friend who was overweight, roughly about 8 stone overweight, she had weight loss operation, there is a huge change in the way people treat her now.

Groovee · 30/07/2017 20:02

Having just lost a tonne of weight, I wouldn't say this is the case.

ChasingHighs · 30/07/2017 20:02

No i wont be kinder. The OP is not being exactly kind is she.

peachgreen · 30/07/2017 20:03

Yep. I lost a significant amount of weight a few years ago and couldn't believe the difference in the way people treated me. Strangers, colleagues, friends. It was shocking.

OwlinaTree · 30/07/2017 20:03

There are definitely people who treat people differently if they feel they are working class.

BridgetvonHammersmark · 30/07/2017 20:03

Definately a thing. I've gained weight due to illness and the difference in the way people treat me is shocking. I hate clothes shopping nowadays as I feel as though the sales assistants just want me out of their shop Sad

OwlinaTree · 30/07/2017 20:04

That's not really controversial as a fact. It's a pretty shitty fact though.

Glumglowworm · 30/07/2017 20:05

I'm fat and I do think people treat me differently than when I was slimmer. But I don't think they think I'm rough. Just someone not worth bothering about.

ChasingHighs · 30/07/2017 20:05

Maybe you should just eat an avacodo in the park so everyone knows you are not a rough WC person.

LaContessaDiPlump · 30/07/2017 20:07

I lost weight and people did treat me differently; I'm now slowly regaining it and the approbation has decreased significantly Sad