To think people treat you different if you are fat

[Mammylamb]

I have recently put on a few stone which I need to lose. I don't know if I'm imagining it but I feel that strangers were nicer to me when I was slimmer. It sounds daft, but today at a play park I noticed women looking me up and down and one woman pushed past me (quite rudely) to get into the park. When we went to the swings she couldn't grab her bag quickly enough (really, I wasn't going to steal it.). I know that I'm less attractive when I'm fatter and it makes me look a bit "rough" and (whisper) less middle class. My mums weight also fluctuates and she said she notices a difference in how folk treat her too. Do you think this is right, or are we imagining it?

[ShyOyster]

Just wanted to emphasise: it is DEFINITELY nothing to do with attitude, as someone kindly suggested earlier. I'm a fatty atm but not overly conscious (I've got a very short list of things I give fucks about and weight didn't make it to the list) but still see people treating me differently. Some of them anyway. Assholes.
I actually met DP when I was at my fattest. I cleary wasn't very self conscious.

[catcatcatcat]

YANBU. I was 6 stone heavier a year and a half ago & invisible. It's so different now.

[troodiedoo]

Yo yo dieter here. Definitely a thing. Handy for sorting out the shallow people.

[Penygirl]

There is definitely a difference in the way some people react to you when you are overweight. I think what the OP might be referring to with the 'rough' comment is that unless you can afford to spend a lot of money on your clothes it is harder to look nice whereas if you are slim you can get away with cheaper clothes.

[NotTheCoolMum]

It is a definite thing. I was a slim size 8. Gained 2.5st with DC1 and now a size 14. The number of people that have literally pushed past me or walked into me in the street or when shopping, fucking hell! Never happened when I was size 8!

And at the counter at the coffee shop, or in a bar etc, being ignored by the staff! Some days I feel like shouting I'M STANDING RIGHT HERE ARE YOU BLIND!

Ahem.

Before it happened to me I would never have believed it though. It is shocking.

[HelenaDove]

Some years back Easy Living magazine (which no longer exists) actually had a feature titled...........School Runway.

They got really slated for the sexism of it Too right IMO.

[Timefortea99]

I have lost weight after being a couple of stone overweight for last 10 years. Suddenly men (colleagues) who never gave me the time of day are falling over themselves to open doors etc. Some female colleagues have become less friendly. I am still me, just less of me.

(I never fancied colleagues when I was fat, nor did they me. They now seem to fancy me. I however have not changed my mind - I still don't fancy them, the shallow arrogant knobs.)

So, OP, you are treated differently if you lose/gain weight but I am not sure about the class thing.

[stumblymonkeyagain]

...and I'm a size 20 that wears middle class clothing, (mainly Jaeger and Phase Eight TBH as I think Boden is horrible quality and Joules is not my taste), works in the City and lives in the Home Counties.

So I must be one of your 1/10 Count.

[AyUpMiDuck]

YANBU I never had a great rapport with the school gates mums in my leafy suburb until I shed a few stones and suddenly I was one of them. I was strangely cheered up by their long overdue acceptance and delighted to say that I chose to ignore the lot of them.

Fat is divisive and not just when the person feels apologetic or not good enough, it also occurs when you feel fabulous but are not a similar size to your peers.

[HelenaDove]

CoolMum im a size 14 down from a 28 and that doesnt happen to me.

Im 32HH though

[stevie69]

I was a size 20 (around 15 stones) throughout my 40s and, having recently hit the big 50, I'm now a size 8.

If I'm being perfectly honest, I can't recall being treated any differently then from how I'm treated now. I really don't think my weight made any difference whatsoever.

It is interesting though to hear all your views. There clearly is something in it, judging by the issues raised.

S x

[VestalVirgin]

You don't change classes. If you were born working class then you are now

I don't think that is a particularly useful way of defining class.

Siding with people who have the same background, regardless of what they actually do, is massively harmful, imho.

Just look at the working class Americans who voted for Trump because he has no education and behaves like one of them. He doesn't have their best interests at heart, because he is not one of them.

They'd have been better off electing someone who got an university education and then couldn't pay off student dept and became poor.

[Dragonbait]

I've noticed it. I am very short and have lost 3stone so its pretty noticeable. There were a few bosses at work that were always really off with me for no reason - from the moment they met me. To be honest I assumed it was good old fashioned sexism at work. Since I've lost weight though their whole attitude towards me has changed!

[FatGirlWithChocolate]

I'm a size 16 on a good day, 18 on a bad, I wear Boden Breton tops and have several Seasalt Jackets, I have no tattoos, but I do have flabby arms. I'd class myself as wholeheartedly working class. I appear to be fulfilling and confounding stereotypical class boundaries all at the same time.

[pictish]

Oh it's a thing. I have been slim and very fat. I am currently less fat having lost weight recently with firm plans to lose more. I already see a difference in how people respond to me....strangers that is.

[cazzyg]

Don't know about class but having lost a good few stones in weight, I noticed a definite change in the way people treated me.

Ironically, I seemed to be invisible at times despite being a size 20. As a size 10 I found sales assistants in clothing and beauty stores to be much more attentive and generally people to be more courteous.

A lot of it is down to confidence though in my view. I'm much more confident now and that makes a huge difference too.

[MirabelleTree]

I've been one of the old size 8's and up more recently to a 22/24. Currently a 14 having lost 5 stone. I haven't noticed anyone treating me differently, people have always been pretty friendly.

Having said that we had a quick ok round the Mulberry factory shop today en route somewhere and I did get caught by a sales assistant a bit but hadn't been in before no comparison. I think it was because of my bag though which possibly looked expensive but wasn't.

[schoolgaterebel]

Yes.

I have been both thin and I've been fat, and strangers definitely treat you differently.

[AccrualIntentions]

I'm middle class and fat, but there is a class element. I live in a middle class area with middle class friends and professional colleagues, go to Waitrose and I'm the fattest person I know by miles (5'10/size 16-18). But if I'm in a different bit of town, go to different shops or get the bus somewhere or I'm at the hospital then there are loads of people bigger than me.

Obviously this is a generalisation and it doesn't mean all middle class people are X and all working class people are Y, but it's a generalisation that does hold true in my experience.

[Pilgit]

Definitely a thing. I am a size 20 and may as well be invisible! Unless of course I'm running then I'm fair game for any white can man to tell unimaginative abuse at!

[Nettletheelf]

The woman who shoved you out of the way was just a bit of an arse. She'd probably have done the same to anybody, irrespective of size. Don't worry about her.

The women looking you up and down were doing what lots of people do (including me, I'm sorry to say, involuntarily): sizing up other women's clothes, weight, hair etc. I have noticed that the nastier types (the ex-mean girls referred to by a PP) look at bigger women in a disdainful way and make it obvious to the person they are looking at.

[Awwlookatmybabyspider]

They try to they soon shut up when they realise I'm not a gob shite.
I don't dole shit out so I won't accept it back.
Treat others as you would like to be treated is a 2 way street.

[BuzzKillington]

My friend is very fat and she often comments that people treat you differently.

[Mammylamb]

Nettle; they were both part of the same group of women; but yes, pushypants possibly was just rude!! It was very obvious the woman was looking me up and down. It may be because i am fatter that I am more self conscious and notice it though!! None of my friends treat me differently and my husband would never say a word. However the extra weight is making me feel physically ill (and knackered) so dh and I have agreed to go on a diet so we can both get back into shape. I met my husband when I was chubby in the past and think it's a great way to seive out fuckboys who are only interested in you because of your looks

[Mammylamb]

Accrual, I live in an MC area. As a size 12/14 I went to weight watchers and was the fattest in the class. I asked someone what everyone else was doing there. But in my home town when I went to weight watchers as a 16/18 I was nowhere near the fattest; probably in the middle