To think people treat you different if you are fat

[Mammylamb]

I have recently put on a few stone which I need to lose. I don't know if I'm imagining it but I feel that strangers were nicer to me when I was slimmer. It sounds daft, but today at a play park I noticed women looking me up and down and one woman pushed past me (quite rudely) to get into the park. When we went to the swings she couldn't grab her bag quickly enough (really, I wasn't going to steal it.). I know that I'm less attractive when I'm fatter and it makes me look a bit "rough" and (whisper) less middle class. My mums weight also fluctuates and she said she notices a difference in how folk treat her too. Do you think this is right, or are we imagining it?

[Countvesuvius]

Helena what on earth are you going on about

[kmc1111]

Definitely a thing, and people do make all sorts of assumptions.

When I was overweight, strangers who saw me in my (stylish, expensive) office garb would always assume I was entry-level, maybe at most a secretary. When I lost the weight, suddenly people could immediately recognise the signs that I was actually very senior. Same thing when the topic of educational history would come up. When I was fat it always seemed to surprise people that I was well-educated. Now that I'm thin I never get that look of shock when I mention my degrees.

[oldlaundbooth]

Crikey count

[Lucysky2017]

Particularly men ..... and that's not really a class issue, just a sex issue.

[VanillaSugar]

Prince Albert had his Willy pierced. I wouldn't say he was WC. And Queen Victoria was veritably podgy. And she was well posh.

[ChasingHighs]

The most senior person where I work is very overweight.

[VestalVirgin]

As thin person I can't really say I noticed it, and I certainly don't do it myself, but considering that so many people say they noticed it, I am inclined to believe it is actually happening.
(And then there's the fact that characters in literature are treated different if fat / only certain kinds of characters tend to be fat, so it is reasonable to assume people would have similar attitudes in real life)

[HelenaDove]

Count you obviously have pre concieved ideas about people I was just thought i might pre empt what might be coming on this thread and smash some stereotypes myself first.

There are some on here who think people who live in social housing have loads of kids for instance.

[FatGirlWithChocolate]

You aren't imagining it. The world is not a kind place when you are bigger.

[inkzooka]

It is 100% a thing.

I was 120kg. Developed an eating disorder, dropped literally half of my body mass in around 3-4 months. I'm now hovering around 70kg and still unhappy with that, lots of loose skin and gross stuff to deal with now so y'know, don't do it.

But god, the difference is TREMENDOUS. People treat me like a human being now. My behaviour hasn't changed at all - if anything, I've become less friendly, more withdrawn and more of an anxious asshole than I was before, but suddenly old friends want to see me again because I'm not embarrassing to be around, people ask for my number (and mean it) unlike the cute guy who asked for my number in a starbucks and proceeded to use it to harass me and call me "a fat ugly slut who's gagging for my cock" on multiple occasions with his mates laughing in the back.

People also whisper about me being a meth head now my psoriasis has taken over my body and face again, so that's fun, but I still get treated better than I did with psoriasis + fat.

[letsmargaritatime]

Yanbu op, this definitely happens. Friday I was at the dentist with my dc, the dental nurse smiled and joked with my slim dd, called her cute, looked at her sweetly. She was sharp and to the point with my other dd who is overweight. This happens a lot.

Pisses me off so much when people say I must be imagining it, or like posters have said to you, it must be something else, attitude etc. It's bollocks, I've got four dc, my overweight dd is regularly treated differently. People don't want to believe that Human beings are that shallow but they are.

[HelenaDove]

Also happens in TV dramas Vestal The overweight woman is always cast as the supportive best friend.

[ChasingHighs]

If people are treating your DD differently it's not because they think she's 'low class' though. Or they would treat all your kids the same way if they were the sort to judge on class.

[tankerdale]

Personally. It's hard to separate my own feelings about myself being overweight and how that affects my confidence and interactions with others.

BUT I do think there are some women/other mums I come across where it's a barrier to friendship. People that spend a lot of time running or going to the gym for example. People that I perceive as thinking that they manage to be slim by 'working at it' so why can't I and they'd die if they ever looked like me so how could I have let myself get like that, and I think that's a barrier to friendship because they just don't get it. It could of course be all in my mind.

I haven't noticed being treated differently out and about but then so many people are overweight now it's not that unusual in general, but does seem to be in the style conscious 'yummy mummy' circles.

[HelenaDove]

"it must be something else, attitude etc"


Just another form of victim blaming.

[TinselTwins]

Its a thing, I'm a short arse so a few pounds is the difference between looking quite slim and quite fat for me. I experience vastly different responsed from the public depending on which way I'm fluctuation

When I'm slim I never need the right change for anything, people just give me my change with a smile! When I'm fat I get huffs and puffs if I give a £5 instead of £4.50 exactly!

[stumblymonkeyagain]

I'm currently a size 20, have been everything from a size 10-20.

Men treat me differently but I don't feel that people treat me differently generally.

If anything, people are slightly friendlier with me. When I was slimmer people used to accuse me of being stuck up/standoffish.

I wasn't any different but people see me as friendlier now.

[Lanaorana2]

Living the yummy mummy capital of the planet, I can certify that some of them are size 8. But most of them are a sensible 12-14 - our local shops eg Whistles, Fat Face, Iris, and so on - always run out of 14s first.

Hair, jewelry, bag and car are miles more important as signs of belonging, as is fitness.

Plump is ok for mc these days, but not as plump as 20 years ago. Vast just doesn't happen so much round these parts any more.

[TinselTwins]

The most senior person where I work is very overweight.

Same here, but when she was rising the ranks she was slim, I've been around long enough to see the pattern

[ChasingHighs]

And it's please. We don't use text speak on MN.

[HelenaDove]

Men can be real shits when it comes to weight...........unless its their own.

[tankerdale]

These are classic middle class, Home Counties dwelling, boden and joules Breton top wearing, jogging/gym going/naturally slim, high earning husband so may not work or maybe part time - mums. A category I would fall into apart from the 'being fat' thing.