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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say I'd rather stick hot pins under all of my fingernails than go to this?

173 replies

Caenea · 30/07/2017 11:44

An email has come through from a "committee" of people I went to secondary school with.

A reunion is being arranged for next July(!) to mark the 10 years since we all left Year 11. They are inviting me to not only go, but give a speech and be a "VIP"

The why and wherefores of this are because I was the only person in the entire year to actually move more than 50 miles away from home to go to university, the only person to go to university without a single other person from school in tow, the only person to remain in the university town after the degree was over and apparently I was a very popular person at school and everyone is very curious about what I've been up to...

Well, this is news to me, because my life was a living hell at that school. I went to the other end of the country for a reason. Even people who claimed to be my friends would push and push and push until the "jokes" were long over and I was nearly in tears. I never went back for the same reason. I hated my home town, I hated my school and I hated everyone there with three exceptions.

Would it be very unreasonable of me to reply telling this "committee" that I would literally rather boil myself in zoflora than attend this event?

OP posts:
WineAndTiramisu · 30/07/2017 11:46

I see absolutely no point in you attending, sounds like you're not in touch with anyone from school for a reason!

Eifla · 30/07/2017 11:46

Fuck that. You couldn't pay me to go to a secondary school reunion.

SpottedGingham · 30/07/2017 11:47

I wouldn't even respond. Just delete. You don't want to go, valid reasons so just do nothing.

Alicia555 · 30/07/2017 11:47

I did the same went to a uni 300 miles from where I lived to escape my school bullies! I can't think of anything worse then what you have described above op!

SnowBallsAreHere · 30/07/2017 11:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ilovesooty · 30/07/2017 11:48

In your place I'd decline gracefully and leave it there. I wouldn't see anything to be gained from being hostile. However I'm not you and I expect you will need to word your response in any way you need to.

DonaldStott · 30/07/2017 11:49

I would just completely ignore it.

Nanny0gg · 30/07/2017 11:50

Reply: 'This is another 'joke', right?'

Original poster
Caenea · 30/07/2017 11:50

To be honest this email arrived last night and I was in shock for a while...

My first instinct was to ring the mobile number they provided and ask if they were having a fucking laugh. It said stuff like "Nobody has heard from you in some time, and we have found that you are no longer connected with anyone on Facebook or Instagram so it would be great for everyone to see you!"

Hmm, yes, because I don't give a rat's ass about any of you?

OP posts:
OverOn · 30/07/2017 11:51

No need to create drama - either delete the message or respond with a simple "Thanks for the invite, but I'm not able to attend. Have a great time".

If you felt bullied at school, no need to give them any material to work with. If you explain any of what you've said in your post, you'll just be giving them something to talk about. They won't have a sudden epiphany about their behaviour and come knocking at your door to apologise.

elevenclips · 30/07/2017 11:51

I agree with saying you're away. if you don't reply they'll try other methods of contact.

MrsPorth · 30/07/2017 11:51

"That date doesn't work. Sorry. Enjoy the evening".

TheClaws · 30/07/2017 11:51

Nope. Sadly, I find these things to be a sad repeat of the same old song. The people are unlikely to have changed in any essential way and will split off into the same cliques and give you the same side-eyes and dark looks, and you'll leave feeling a bit dirty and wrung out. You don't need that. Sorry to be negative but I've already been there for you Grin

LadyAsherton · 30/07/2017 11:51

YANBU... Your classmates seem to be remembering things through the rose-tinted mists of time! Do what is right for you

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 30/07/2017 11:52

I wouldn't even respond to the email - how did they get it if you aren't in contact with any one?

Jb291 · 30/07/2017 11:53

I can't think of anything worse Caenea. Definitely delete and ignore. This would be my idea of hell. I feel much the same as you when it comes to my school days. I'm not in contact with anyone from that time in my life and would rather slit my wrists than have to spend time with the vile ignorant twats that I was forced to go to school with.

Murpher · 30/07/2017 11:56

I'm with TheClaws - they haven't moved on, you have. Nuff said. Content yourself in the knowledge that they're a bunch of narrow minded twats with an ever decreasing gene pool.

Karma darling!

TheFaerieQueene · 30/07/2017 11:57

I wouldn't respond. I would tighten up my privacy settings on Facebook though.

SapphireStrange · 30/07/2017 11:57

Fuck no, you wouldn't be U!

I'd reply short and sweet 'I won't be attending. Regards, Caenea.'

Gingerandgivingzerofucks · 30/07/2017 12:00

I would respond with something that means they won't get back to you. It's an inbox exercise used in teacher interviews. You want to send something which doesn't provoke but completely stops them from to-ing and fro-ing with questions/comments etc. Something along the lines of 'I am not interested in attending this event'. Nothing else, no reasons, nothing. I certainly wouldn't be thinking them for their invitation. If they persist, ignore.

It never fails to astonish me that people can look back at school through rose tinted glasses. I would be deeply disinterested in attending a school reunion. There's a reason I didn't keep in touch with certain people.

NoMoreDecorating · 30/07/2017 12:01

YABVVVVR for using a thread title like that!!! The images in my head and awful feeling in my fingers it conjured!

eddielizzard · 30/07/2017 12:01

don't respond at all.

and i don't blame you!!

MrsMozart · 30/07/2017 12:01

How the heck did they find you?!

Bleugh to going. Either don't reply or reply with a 'sorry booked up' type comment.

I had someone from school contact me a few years ago. Friendly as fuck. As she'd bullied me and tried to beat me up at school that would be a 'No'. God knows where she got fond memories from.

viques · 30/07/2017 12:02

You could become John Cusak for the night (could be hard) and turn yourself into a professional hitman, though it ended badly. Or alternatively claim to have invented post its and to be hugely wealthy and living in the lap of luxury in a gated mansion in BelAir (I think that one ended badly too).

Or ignore. 10 years isn't long, wait until they haven't heard from you for 20 years, then they will really be begging.

pringlecat · 30/07/2017 12:02

Either they are oblivious to how awful they were to you (it's funny how this sort of thing can be conveniently forgotten) or they're planning to humiliate you on the day for old time's sake. There is zero advantage in you spending time, money and effort going to this.

Politely decline or ignore. Don't tell them how much you don't want to go or the reasons why, but you are certainly not unreasonable for thinking that way.

SapphireStrange's reply is perfect.

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