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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not get why guys send dick pics?

197 replies

Emboo19 · 29/07/2017 17:48

My very lovely single friend is spending the day with me and my DD.
She's trying online dating at the moment and is messaging a few people. She's been showing me some messages etc today, and almost every other message is a intimate photo mostly of the guys dick. She hasn't lead up to this, no sexting or anything, although most have asked for a return picture sending.
Is it supposed to be a turn on? Do any women actually think it is?

I love my boyfriend, all parts of him. But a pic of that wouldn't get me turned on or anything.

OP posts:
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specialsubject · 30/07/2017 12:15

So you get chatting to a man in real life, get on well and agree to go on a date. At that point.... Zzzziippppp...

Would you A) laugh and run, b ) call the cops for a flasher or C) say ' wow, there's a real keeper' ( for the avoidance of doubt, both parties are homo sapiens not other life forms)

Is there anyone who would choose option c?????

Still, as a way of helping the species by showing who not to breed with, I suppose it has a purpose.

Joey7t8 · 30/07/2017 12:20

Is your friend using free OLD sites? If she is serious about meeting someone for a relationship then she'd be better off on a subscription one as fuckwits are less likely to pay a fee for dick pic sending

Oddly, in my online dating days, which was pre Tinder, I always found most succes with a free site (PlentyOfFish) as opposed to the pay site that tried for a couple of months.

Nothing serious ever developed mind, but met some interesting women and had a
couple of worthwhile short term relationships as a result.

nolongersurprised · 30/07/2017 12:26

I agree that the "cock worshipping" whattodoaboutthis is a man. S/he talks about getting turned on by "breasts and pussies".

I'm not disputing that straight women can find watching women have sex erotic but - pussies??

I've never met an adult woman refer to her genitals as a "pussy".

ButchyRestingFace · 30/07/2017 12:30

I've never met an adult woman refer to her genitals as a "pussy".

Or maybe just a female who's watched too much a lot of porn?

Ali1262 · 30/07/2017 12:31

I've had a few in the past, and most have asked what I thought of it, my reply used to be I couldn't judge it as my zoom didn't go in far enough for me to see it Grin funny enough I never used to get a reply after that, Hmm

oldtrees · 30/07/2017 12:31

@Mrsmorton that's genius Grin

WoofTweetWoofTweetWoofWoofWoof · 30/07/2017 12:32

Either way, h/she is misunderstanding the context of the conversation, as highlighted by specialsubject above.

Porn probably does play a part but as a PP mentioned, I presume the kind of men who send unsolicited dick pics have pretty severe social problems.

Joey7t8 · 30/07/2017 12:34

I agree that the "cock worshipping" whattodoaboutthis is a man. S/he talks about getting turned on by "breasts and pussies"

I thought that.

I will however add that plenty of women do get very turned on by the sight of their man's erect willy (as well as the feel and scent). So cock worshipping most certainly does happen.

Sparklingbrook · 30/07/2017 12:38

Have you done extensive research Joey? Bleurgh at 'scent'.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 30/07/2017 12:39

Nope, I'm not a man. I am, however, bisexual, so yes I do get turned on by cocks, breasts and pussies.

I know plenty of adult women who call them pussies, but then again I'm in a community of people who write smutty fanfic so that's where that comes from.

RJnomore1 · 30/07/2017 12:39

It bemuses me.

I've been with dh almost 20 years and I'm rather fond of his dick, we've had some good times together, but I wouldn't even want a photo of it TBH.

Are there guys who seriously think it works as a come on? Maybe for some women who just want a no strings shag it's a signal? I dunno. I don't get it.

Joey7t8 · 30/07/2017 12:42

Sparklingbrook , I've done research as in I'm a bloke that has had sexual relationships with women that aren't afraid to express themselves.

Scent is a nicer word than smell IMO.

Sparklingbrook · 30/07/2017 12:49

Chanel No5 is a scent.

Joey7t8 · 30/07/2017 12:53

Chanel No5 is a scent

Yes. As is the natural scent of a man or woman, which can often be a turn on.

'Smell' to me implies something unpleasant, like farts.

nolongersurprised · 30/07/2017 12:54

i dunno. "Smutty fanfic" that talks about "pussies" doesn't seem that sexy to me. It's such a juvenile, tee-tee, male-focused type word. Maybe Donald Trump has ruined it forever.

Sparklingbrook · 30/07/2017 12:56

The scent of a penis. Lovely. Grin I prefer the scent of a man. Especially if he's wearing a nice aftershave.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 30/07/2017 12:59

"Smutty fanfic" that talks about "pussies" doesn't seem that sexy to me. It's such a juvenile, tee-tee, male-focused type word.

Well you are free to feel as sexy or unsexy about it as you want, but these women I've met online and then in real life at fanfic conventions are mostly around 40. I'm one of the fewer younger ones (late twenties).

QuackPorridgeBacon · 30/07/2017 12:59

It seems quite the norm. I've had many through that I laugh at them block a few years ago.

I guess it's the same as women who send pictures of themselves and believe it will turn all men on.

I love my partner and I love every part of him, I will admit though that Willy's in general just look odd when it's the only part being focused on. Some look nastier than others, especially in the darkness of thief shitty bedrooms.

Chwaraeteg · 30/07/2017 13:02

I think that they just don't understand how ambivalent women are about dicks. In their minds, if a woman sent them a picture of their genitals unsolicited, they would be over the moon and they think we are going to have the same reaction to receiving a photo of their dicks.

I asked my partner about this one day and he reckons that a lot of men don't fully get why women complain about being sexually objectified -most of them would love / be flattered to get all that pure sexual attention directed at them and feel that they 'miss out' on this.

MrsJamesAspey · 30/07/2017 13:06

I exchanged numbers with a guy I'd been chatting to down the pub, there was a few texts and whatsapp messages and suggestions of meeting up for a drink the following weekend. Then one weekday lunchtime I'm sat having some lunch and my phone pings, there's a dick pic on my whatsapp Confused I replied thanks for that you've really put me off my lunch, he replied oh sorry did you not like it Sad
I didn't realise that whatsapp saves all photos into your album so a couple of days later I go into my photos and the bloody dick pic is there again Hmm

PortiaCastis · 30/07/2017 13:07

I'm divorced and have tried OLD oh god the dick pics I received were awful. My usual retort was sorry but your pics are very sad and you can FRO as of now. Most were unimpressive anyway so I just deleted them and blocked the owners of dicks who were complete dicks themselves.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 30/07/2017 13:08

I didn't realise that whatsapp saves all photos into your album

Slightly off topic, but you can change that in your settings Smile

Our Pokemon Go group is on WhatsApp and I only just realised all the pics they've sent have saved to my phone so looked in settings and turned that off straight away. Short on storage as it is!

Sparklingbrook · 30/07/2017 13:08

It is really odd that some men have no idea that you may not be absolutely thrilled. Sometimes you might receive a text and if you are driving or something get someone in the car to check it for you. Shock

You may decide to forward it to every single one of your friends for judging and scrutiny.

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 30/07/2017 13:21

I think we should stop making excuses for men like they don't seem to understand that we are not sexually turned on be receiving these type of pictures teenagers maybe I can excuse and they might have thought it was amusing to send and is it surprising when so many excuses are made

Any adult is well aware that you don't flash your genitals to others unless

donajimena · 30/07/2017 13:33

I'm not excusing men at all. The friend I asked knows its a dreadful thing to do. I just asked the question. To be honest I was quite surprised with his reply.