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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed there's a random man in my garden painting the fence at 7am!

350 replies

GetOutOfMYGarden · 29/07/2017 07:41

I'm a 25 year old woman living alone with two dogs in a terraced house. All houses in the row have an individual garden both in the back and front. I rent, most other people in the row own their house.

Next door has recently decided to renovate their back garden, including installing an (ugly) garage in there, building higher fences and a built in kennel for their three dogs. Wasn't bothered about any of this. To be honest I don't particularly like them that much so I don't mind not seeing them Grin

I came home from an overnight shift today at 7am. Parked behind my back gate as usual and found a random man on a stepladder in my garden painting the fence with Cuprinol! My other neighbour had let my dogs out in the garden at 6:30am for me as she always does when I'm on nights (lovely 89 year old lady who's recently been widowed, I pop in with dinner about twice a week for her and generally check she's okay since she's too depressed to cook for herself atm, her family can't be around every day and so she insists on doing this to 'repay' me) so they were milling around in there happily sniffing at his ladder (lucky I don't rely on them being guard dogs, isn't it!). Oddly enough, they haven't attempted this with the neighbour on the other side of them who has a massive Boerboel in the garden. Neighbours knew I was out for a night shift since they made a bit of conversation when I was leaving last night in my uniform and my car wasn't there. I'm usually back at about 9am but my shifts has ended early

Confronted him and asked who he was, he said the neighbours doing the garden renovations had said I'd given him permission to come into my garden and paint that side of the party fence. Pointed out that I clearly haven't as the gate was double locked and the dogs were out! Tells me 'sorry I thought you'd forgot so I hopped the fence, oh well love let me finish and I'll get out, you'll have to speak to [male neighbour]'. I told him certainly not and to get the fuck out of my garden now before I called the police. Told him that misled by my neighbour or not, I'm telling him right then and there that he had no permission to be in there.

Once he was out of the garden and I'd locked my gate properly again, I went round to knock on the neighbours' front door and ask what the fuck they're playing at. No answer, although they were definitely in, I could hear CBeebies blasted through the wall to my living room for their DS and their cars were all in their usual parking spots. I went upstairs for a wee (bursting at this point Blush) and through the bathroom window I could hear the male neighbour, female neighbour and the painter in his garden bitching about me, calling me a rude bitch! I shouted down mid wee that no, I wasn't, and asked if it was okay for me to come in his bloody garden without permission! No answer to that one.

Neighbours won't answer the door to speak about it and I'm tired after a night shift and I don't feel I can go to sleep until this is sorted lest this cheeky man hop my fence again Sad To be honest if they'd asked and had it done on a day I was in, I'd have given them permission!

OP posts:
TheGirlOnTheLanding · 29/07/2017 09:35

@faithinthesound Grin

redfairy · 29/07/2017 09:36

YANBU. CFNs didn't extend the courtesy if asking permission to send a workman over to see to the fence. Instead they lied to the workman, sent him to work in a shiftworkers garden knowing they wouldn't be present and he was sent into a garden with three unleashed dogs. There could have been a far worse outcome than a bit of indignant swearing.

JammieHands · 29/07/2017 09:36

Jeez! The cheek of some people! You are most definitely NBU. I've had this before with previous NDN. If they had just asked I would have gladly let them in but to be sneaky and do it when they know you are out.....once came home to find a NDN in my garden chopping down a 100 year old tree because he didn't like that that side of his house wasn't getting sun. The tree was there before the house!

Cakeorchocolate · 29/07/2017 09:36

Yanbu. But perhaps a bit of an overreaction tired after a night shit.

I would be delighted if someone wanted to paint my fence for free but would still want to be asked / at least informed about when. I wouldn't want to come home to a random in my garden either. Probably wise you sent him packing with the neighbour LL dispute anyway. Neighbours are probably adding it to the charges they're trying to get your LL to pay.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 29/07/2017 09:36

I once chased off a whole team of gardeners with chainsaws who I found in my rented house's garden and who told me they would be there for two days to trim the hedges because they had the landlord's consent.

Well, no, because he would have needed mine and he didn't deign to inform me.

Serialweightwatcher · 29/07/2017 09:37

I absolutely agree that you were within your rights - all I would worry about though is that now you've annoyed them and you work shifts, CBeebies etc will be a lot louder in future and because they're cheeky beggars in the first place, they will no doubt decide to make you as uncomfortable as possible

TheGirlOnTheLanding · 29/07/2017 09:38

Oh and OP, YADNBU. Hope you manage to get some sleep after the stress of all this.

rattieofcarcassone · 29/07/2017 09:39

Yanbu at all. Even if you had a DH you'd still not be unreasonable to not want a random bloke in your garden! If the same happened to me I'd happily tell him to fuck off if he refused to leave after being asked, he may have been trying to finish the job but that's his issue with the neighbour, not his issue with op given that they were the ones who gave him permission to be somewhere that he shouldn't have been!

Cakeorchocolate · 29/07/2017 09:40

Hope you've got some earplugs to get some sleep.

TacoFlavouredKisses · 29/07/2017 09:42

faithinthesound

Grin
Funnyface1 · 29/07/2017 09:49

I'm pretty sure I'd have lost my temper if someone who didn't have my permission then refused to leave my property. How odd that they couldn't just ask you. Probably because of the dispute with the landlord. Yanbu and I hope they answer the door and explain themselves to one of you soon.

Billben · 29/07/2017 09:53

OP ignore the the people saying you are making a big deal out of nothing. They are probably the cheeky fuckers who try to get away with stuff like this, hoping you'll just take things lying down. Let us know how did it go when your landlady came over.

RebootYourEngine · 29/07/2017 09:54

I would have chased him too. Do you have fencing all the way around your garden OP?
If you do it would look silly with one side being painted and not the others.

jeaux90 · 29/07/2017 09:55

Love faithinsounds post Grin

emmyrose2000 · 29/07/2017 09:58

KimmySchmidt1 Sat 29-Jul-17 08:30:35
It doesn't sound like he actually raped you so I'm not sure why got so angry.

WTH??? Shock There is something seriously wrong with you. Get help ASAP.

Supermagicsmile · 29/07/2017 10:01

Any update op?

emmyrose2000 · 29/07/2017 10:01

YANBU

How dare the neighbours, or anyone really, give permission for someone to trespass onto your property.

Posters who say it's no big deal because they'd love to get a free painted fence really have no clue.

Bluntness100 · 29/07/2017 10:03

Classy. I'm not sure if it's tiredness that makes you so aggressive?

For me, no this wouldn't have been a big deal. I would have taken th dogs in and went to bed of whatever I had planned and let him finish. I certainly would not have told him to fuck off.

Yes they should have asked or informed. But as said, I'm not really seeing rhe big deal which required him to be told to fuck off.

mickeysminnie · 29/07/2017 10:04

Cannot believe people think this is ok.
When she first told him to leave he refused!! If course she told him to fuck off and rightly so!!
Make a log of events op.

faithinthesound · 29/07/2017 10:10

For me, no this wouldn't have been a big deal. I would have taken th dogs in and went to bed of whatever I had planned and let him finish. I certainly would not have told him to fuck off.

Cool story. But the strange man wasn't in YOUR yard. He was in the OP's yard.

YOUR tolerance level for strange men in your yard/CFN shenanigans sans permission is not the gold standard.

Auspiciouspanda · 29/07/2017 10:11

All the posters saying 'I'd love some random to come and paint my fence for free' do you REALLY think the painter would do all three sides of your fence? Yeah right! He would have done just the neighbors the hopped right back over.

So most likely they don't match - even if they do match colour it would be obvious which is the newly painted one so now you've either got to put up with unmatching coloured fences OR do the other sides yourself. Does that really sound like a kind thing a strangers done for you?

Also OP is RENTING and she needs to return the property in a similar state when she leaves whether the neighbour did it or not. So the OP now has to do the above or loses a portion of her deposit for the fence to be repainted.

The painter is completely wrong in insisting he stay in the OP's garden after she asked him to leave. I've dealt with men insisting I do things like give them my phone number or go with the for some 'fun time' after I've politely refused the only way to get rid of them is to tell them to fuck off and leave you alone.

Witsender · 29/07/2017 10:15

The decorator was at fault the moment he didn't leave when it became apparent he wasn't supposed to be there. It shouldn't have taken a few asks resulting in the OP getting angry.

StaplesCorner · 29/07/2017 10:16

How in the name of fuck is it of any benefit whatsoever to the OP to have a fence painted that she doesn't want and doesn't own? I can see all the downsides to this - her dogs might have attacked the painter, the painter might have goaded them, he might have let them out, he was in her garden without permission, it was 7am, he was asked to leave and didn't want to go ... so lots of negatives there, but apparently OP was lucky lucky lucky to have someone else's fence painted and that alone should have justified pretty much anything. Angry

HaudYerWheeshtBawbag · 29/07/2017 10:16

You're not in the wrong technically but a) no need to be rude to the workman and b) if you'd have given permission anyway this is all a total storm in a teacup. I would have met him carry on and then had a word with the neighbours about not seeking your permission. Can't understand people who make a drama about nothing, especially with neighbours

Exactly peach mountain out of a mohill I've just asked dh and he wouldn't be bothered, and it's finding it laughable that people are getting so get up about a neighbour painting a fence.

user1495025590 · 29/07/2017 10:16

panda the fence belongs to the neighbours , not her landlord