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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed there's a random man in my garden painting the fence at 7am!

350 replies

GetOutOfMYGarden · 29/07/2017 07:41

I'm a 25 year old woman living alone with two dogs in a terraced house. All houses in the row have an individual garden both in the back and front. I rent, most other people in the row own their house.

Next door has recently decided to renovate their back garden, including installing an (ugly) garage in there, building higher fences and a built in kennel for their three dogs. Wasn't bothered about any of this. To be honest I don't particularly like them that much so I don't mind not seeing them Grin

I came home from an overnight shift today at 7am. Parked behind my back gate as usual and found a random man on a stepladder in my garden painting the fence with Cuprinol! My other neighbour had let my dogs out in the garden at 6:30am for me as she always does when I'm on nights (lovely 89 year old lady who's recently been widowed, I pop in with dinner about twice a week for her and generally check she's okay since she's too depressed to cook for herself atm, her family can't be around every day and so she insists on doing this to 'repay' me) so they were milling around in there happily sniffing at his ladder (lucky I don't rely on them being guard dogs, isn't it!). Oddly enough, they haven't attempted this with the neighbour on the other side of them who has a massive Boerboel in the garden. Neighbours knew I was out for a night shift since they made a bit of conversation when I was leaving last night in my uniform and my car wasn't there. I'm usually back at about 9am but my shifts has ended early

Confronted him and asked who he was, he said the neighbours doing the garden renovations had said I'd given him permission to come into my garden and paint that side of the party fence. Pointed out that I clearly haven't as the gate was double locked and the dogs were out! Tells me 'sorry I thought you'd forgot so I hopped the fence, oh well love let me finish and I'll get out, you'll have to speak to [male neighbour]'. I told him certainly not and to get the fuck out of my garden now before I called the police. Told him that misled by my neighbour or not, I'm telling him right then and there that he had no permission to be in there.

Once he was out of the garden and I'd locked my gate properly again, I went round to knock on the neighbours' front door and ask what the fuck they're playing at. No answer, although they were definitely in, I could hear CBeebies blasted through the wall to my living room for their DS and their cars were all in their usual parking spots. I went upstairs for a wee (bursting at this point Blush) and through the bathroom window I could hear the male neighbour, female neighbour and the painter in his garden bitching about me, calling me a rude bitch! I shouted down mid wee that no, I wasn't, and asked if it was okay for me to come in his bloody garden without permission! No answer to that one.

Neighbours won't answer the door to speak about it and I'm tired after a night shift and I don't feel I can go to sleep until this is sorted lest this cheeky man hop my fence again Sad To be honest if they'd asked and had it done on a day I was in, I'd have given them permission!

OP posts:
faithinthesound · 29/07/2017 08:17

If she had gone at him effing and blinding, then yes, she would be being unreasonable. But she didn't. She asked him politely to leave and he refused. She insisted and he refused. Only then did she swear.

To those saying "well he thought he had permission so it wasn't his fault" - I find three things wrong with that.

  1. The fence/gate was double locked so he had to jump it. Had OP been asked/given permission she wouldn't have locked it.
  2. On the off chance she really had forgotten (trying really hard to give him the benefit of the doubt here), the first words out of her mouth wouldn't have been "what are you doing here". Because had OP been asked/given permission, she'd know that already.
  3. All that aside, she used her words and told him in no uncertain terms that she emphatically did not give permission for him to be there. He might have assumed he did have permission, but once she said that, there was no way he could still legitimately believe he did.
TenForward82 · 29/07/2017 08:17

He didn't ASK, he said "LET me finish". Clearly he didn't have her permission to be there but still pushed.

user1499786242 · 29/07/2017 08:18

I'm sitting on the fence for this one...
(Sorry couldn't help myself)
Personally if I was getting my fence painted for free then I would be chuffed but I know what it's like for neighbours to do stuff without permission... it's crap!
and I think I would have shouted out of the window aswell to be honest, if I could hear people bitching about me I would have to say something!

faithinthesound · 29/07/2017 08:18

Oh and OP said a number of times that if they had asked she likely would have given permission, but they didn't bother. If they clearly have no respect for her, why should she bend over backwards to accommodate them?

Notreallyarsed · 29/07/2017 08:21

Why are they demanding the LL pay half when they decided to put the fence up? When I moved into my place I asked my neighbours either side (semi) if they minded me making the 3ft fence a 6ft fence so my dog didn't escape. They offered to contribute but I'd budgeted and said no thanks, it was my dog that needed the fence built so I'd pay for it.

upperlimit · 29/07/2017 08:21

I'll also add that I think it was a bit awesome that you were giving people hell whilst mid-wee. If they thought you were a push over yesterday I imagine they have revising that now Grin

allegretto · 29/07/2017 08:23

If you had been a bit more reasonable yourself, this could have all been sorted amicably.

GetOutOfMYGarden · 29/07/2017 08:24

Honestly people seemed to be more interested in getting their fence done for free? It's was pissing it down last night and it's a wooden fence, it's not going to turn out well anyway.

Not sure Notreallyarsed, LL just said that's been what's happening with the fence so she's more than happy to come and sort them for me. They've turned up the TV on the wall the other side of my bed to max from the sound of things.

OP posts:
ILikeBigBumpsAndICannotLie · 29/07/2017 08:24

Yanbu. I've had similar happen and it gave me a real fright to have an unexpected strange man in the back garden. He deserved a mouthful for trying to dismiss your feelings when you were very clear you wanted him gone.

Mummyme1987 · 29/07/2017 08:24

It was deliberate while they knew the OP was out. They all knew they didn't have permission, and surely it's the landlord not the OP they needed to ask anyway?

woundedbutwalking · 29/07/2017 08:25

YANBU, painter & CFN's can do one! If someone jumped my fence with my dogs in the garden I'd be furious & probably would have sworn as the opening line so think you were restrained not starting with "wtf do you think you're doing?!"

I also wouldn't put up with listening to CFN's slagging me off if I could hear them either... but then perhaps I'm just a mardy cow!!!

Notreallyarsed · 29/07/2017 08:26

GetOutOfMYGarden ach that's not fair about the TV, do you have earphones/plugs that you can drown the noise out with? I hope you get it resolved soon, I don't think YABU at all.

Articu · 29/07/2017 08:27

You phoned your landlord at 8 in the morning on a Saturday AND he is already on his/her way? That's really good but what do expect him/her to do when he gets there?

I think it was rude of the neighbors to tell their workman he can access your garden but I think your reaction was OTT and confrontational. It all seems a bit dramatic with the banging in doors and overhearing the neighbors calling you a bitch.

It's a complete non issue. Let him finish the fence and move on.

BTW. Most fences are preteated so it's a bit pointless treating it for the first year (although not impossible). It's probably not creosote either

Crispdeficiency · 29/07/2017 08:28

Fhs there are worst things in the world to get upset about surely? Neighbour's definitely should have asked permission when they saw op the night before, but it's a minor inconvenience on op's side - workman just wanted to finish the job - everyone has to compromise and rub along when it comes to neighbourly relations. People are so quick to dig their heels in nowadays. Given what is going on in the world, it's hardly a biggie is it?

sparkleandsunshine · 29/07/2017 08:28

YANBU and I assume you have more than one fence to your back garden, therefore if they only paint one then your other fences will look out of place. And that's before you get onto the topic of them being absolute dicks and thinking they can send someone into your garden

PovertyPain · 29/07/2017 08:29

Fuck that! Good for you, for telling him to fuck off, OP. He didn't ask if he could finish, he tried to dismiss you by saying he would finish it then leave. He should have asked you what you wanted him to do and apologised for being there. It doesn't matter that other posters don't care about their privacy and the neighbours taking the pias, you do, so you've a right to be pissed off.

I went outside one day to find a builder taking down MY fence and I asked him what the hell he was doing. He replied that my neighbour asked him to as he was building a new fence. I told him that it was MY fence and he responded that he knew that, but it didn't matter as I would be getting a new fence. I told him to stop and he ignored me and carried one. I told him I was going to the shed and getting a sledge hammer and would take it to his tools, if he didn't stop. long story short, my fence was repaired.

BoggledMind · 29/07/2017 08:30

Was going to say the same OP. I can't believe the number of people on this thread saying you're in the wrong because PPs would love someone to paint their fence!?! What has that got to do with the situation? The neighbour gave the painter permission to do something on someone else's property, then when the OP asked him to get out of the garden he refused. It doesn't matter whether it is painting a fence, cutting down a tree or anything else. The neighbour should have sought permission beforehand. It's really not difficult to understand. So no, OP, you're not in the wrong at all. I can't believe the nerve of some people.

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 29/07/2017 08:30

Christ on a bike. People who make issues out of thin air.

KimmySchmidt1 · 29/07/2017 08:30

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Lostinaseaofbubbles · 29/07/2017 08:31

That's all very petty and unfair from them.

Of course you have a right to be annoyed at finding someone in your garden when you haven't given them permission to be there.

If your landlord is responsible for the fence then there's replacing it without permission is surely criminal damage and if the landlord isn't responsible, why on earth would they pay.

It is annoying when you pay for a fence and one side is unprotected (ours is, the neighbours said they'd paint their side to protect it but haven't and that was 3 years ago!). But I wouldn't dream of just hopping the fence with a can of paint and doing it anyway!

Sorry you're having such a crappy morning OP.

Mummyme1987 · 29/07/2017 08:33

There's the issue of the dogs, any damage to plants that might happen etc. And the lack of respect to the OP. I think the OPs reaction was restrained if anything. You don't just go into people's gardens!

PovertyPain · 29/07/2017 08:35

Btw, any decent builder/handyman would have waited and asked the garden owner directly if they could go into the garden, rather than assume. He was a dick.

JaneEyre70 · 29/07/2017 08:35

Firstly I'd want to know that whatever they've used is safe for your dogs to be around. Secondly, I'd have bounced it to the Landlord, which you've done. Some people literally have no boundaries these days. They had no right to access your garden without asking, whatever they were doing.

VeryButchyRestingFace · 29/07/2017 08:37

Can't help but feel that painters aren't usually working at 7am

That's about the time any painter I've had has elected to come.

whyhastherumgone · 29/07/2017 08:37

"it doesn't sound like he actually raped you so i'm not sure why you got so angry"

Really @Kimmyschmidt1?!

Of course the OP has every right to be angry. A stranger has climbed into her back garden on her ndn's say so when they have no right to do that regardless of whether they were doing something that some people might perceive as nice. It should have been arranged with the OP.