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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed there's a random man in my garden painting the fence at 7am!

350 replies

GetOutOfMYGarden · 29/07/2017 07:41

I'm a 25 year old woman living alone with two dogs in a terraced house. All houses in the row have an individual garden both in the back and front. I rent, most other people in the row own their house.

Next door has recently decided to renovate their back garden, including installing an (ugly) garage in there, building higher fences and a built in kennel for their three dogs. Wasn't bothered about any of this. To be honest I don't particularly like them that much so I don't mind not seeing them Grin

I came home from an overnight shift today at 7am. Parked behind my back gate as usual and found a random man on a stepladder in my garden painting the fence with Cuprinol! My other neighbour had let my dogs out in the garden at 6:30am for me as she always does when I'm on nights (lovely 89 year old lady who's recently been widowed, I pop in with dinner about twice a week for her and generally check she's okay since she's too depressed to cook for herself atm, her family can't be around every day and so she insists on doing this to 'repay' me) so they were milling around in there happily sniffing at his ladder (lucky I don't rely on them being guard dogs, isn't it!). Oddly enough, they haven't attempted this with the neighbour on the other side of them who has a massive Boerboel in the garden. Neighbours knew I was out for a night shift since they made a bit of conversation when I was leaving last night in my uniform and my car wasn't there. I'm usually back at about 9am but my shifts has ended early

Confronted him and asked who he was, he said the neighbours doing the garden renovations had said I'd given him permission to come into my garden and paint that side of the party fence. Pointed out that I clearly haven't as the gate was double locked and the dogs were out! Tells me 'sorry I thought you'd forgot so I hopped the fence, oh well love let me finish and I'll get out, you'll have to speak to [male neighbour]'. I told him certainly not and to get the fuck out of my garden now before I called the police. Told him that misled by my neighbour or not, I'm telling him right then and there that he had no permission to be in there.

Once he was out of the garden and I'd locked my gate properly again, I went round to knock on the neighbours' front door and ask what the fuck they're playing at. No answer, although they were definitely in, I could hear CBeebies blasted through the wall to my living room for their DS and their cars were all in their usual parking spots. I went upstairs for a wee (bursting at this point Blush) and through the bathroom window I could hear the male neighbour, female neighbour and the painter in his garden bitching about me, calling me a rude bitch! I shouted down mid wee that no, I wasn't, and asked if it was okay for me to come in his bloody garden without permission! No answer to that one.

Neighbours won't answer the door to speak about it and I'm tired after a night shift and I don't feel I can go to sleep until this is sorted lest this cheeky man hop my fence again Sad To be honest if they'd asked and had it done on a day I was in, I'd have given them permission!

OP posts:
SnickersWasAHorse · 30/07/2017 20:53

Several posters including myself said they would have offered coffee/tea to the workman if they had see him at work in the garden. They wouldn't have asked him to leave and therefore he wouldn't have refused to leave

In which case what is the point in mentioning it?

You wouldn't be bothered by there being some random bloke in your garden and would make him a cup of tea. Fine, you carry on.

The OP didn't like some random person in her property uninvited. She decided to ask him to leave. You saying 'well if you had just offered him a cup of tea then none of this would have happened', is pointless. She did get bothered by him being there and she did ask him to leave. Wittering on about cups of tea now is pointless.

If you aren't bothered by random people turning up in your property uninvited then good for you.

SnickersWasAHorse · 30/07/2017 20:57

What's offering a guy working on a fence in the garden got to do intruders.

intruder
noun [ C ] UK /ɪnˈtruː.dər/ US /ɪnˈtruː.dɚ/
someone who is in a place or situation where they are not wanted

Don't know how I can make it any clearer that this man was an intruder [patronising shrugging emoticon]

GetOutOfMYGarden · 30/07/2017 21:11

This update is pretty sparse but CFN's car is not back, his wife has been around to BO's house and offered to pay for the window, police are involved.

OP posts:
limitedperiodonly · 30/07/2017 21:22

Workmen are always trying it on and I don't blame the OP. I'm sick of being nice to people who think I'm an idiot.

I've lived here 25 years - mortgage free tomorrow, yay - and I am always having this shit.

I'm nice to the workmen who turn up with distressing frequency to do stuff on my property on the instructions of my clueless and arrogant absentee landlord neighbours. But only when they are nice to me. Which is not often. Hardly at all, in fact.

I've lost count of the men, it's always men, who just turn up in my garden and poke around and then treat me like a simpleton when I say: 'Hello. Can I help you?' They don't even fucking knock on the door.

Like the OP I've threatened to call the police a number of times. The last was in May when Virgin Media turned up to lay cables on my property at the behest of the tenant of a neighbour. I said they couldn't do that and they argued. I asked them to leave. They were reluctant until I told them to piss off. They then rounded up the tenant who called me a 'fat fucking bitch' and 'fucking useless arsehole' at which point I said I was calling the police.

I complained to his landlady, who apologised but then said officiously: 'he really needs broadband for his job, so it is very important that you grant access.'

WTF? No. If he signed a contract without checking the place doesn't have broadband, tough shit. If you would like to release him from that contract to find a better flat, then go ahead. Otherwise, you should hold him to it. Why the fuck do you think I should make life easier for you and your abusive tenant, you fucking chancer?

leafprint · 30/07/2017 21:46

This reply has been deleted

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Anxietyreallyblows · 30/07/2017 22:29

Yanbu op. I hope the police catch and arrest CAN. I feel for his poor wife too..if he's like that to people he barely knows, how must he treat her. I hope Boerbel man dd is better soon.

Anxietyreallyblows · 30/07/2017 22:30

CAN not CAN.

Anxietyreallyblows · 30/07/2017 22:31

CFN not can

Mollymutkin · 30/07/2017 23:24

Brilliant ranting, I love it! ...and don't forget OP's gate was locked too, painter didn't exactly swan on in whistling his merry tune at 7am, must have been much earlier actually, if he was over halfway done when OP arrived home.

buntingqueen · 30/07/2017 23:49

I literally don't understand how anyone can look out into their LOCKED garden, see a strange man painting the fence, and think "oh, I'll make him a cup of tea". I would actually be livid! The neighbours are taking liberties, and if the OP hadn't said anything, they would probably try their luck with something else. I'm very glad (and a bit jealous) that the OP has a supportive neighbour on the other side of CFN!

limitedperiodonly · 31/07/2017 12:28

My garden is enclosed by 6ft Victorian walls and tumbling ivy. It's very secluded and romantic and there is no outside access to it.

So imagine my surprise when I walked into my kitchen in a bobbly top with no bra and some threadbare shorts to find a workman sitting on my bench eating his sandwiches.

It turned out he was from next door and had been climbing over the wall for days because my garden was so lovely. I only discovered him because I had a day off work. He climbed back over the wall when I insisted but he expressed a challenging and somewhat aggressive view, as in: 'You've got a nice garden and you should be sharing it with people, not selfishly keeping it to yourself.'

I'm all for communal space, but I had a word with my neighbours about him

limitedperiodonly · 31/07/2017 12:33

I wouldn't be surprised to learn that the man I found in my garden made a habit of invading people's privacy in many ways

SerfTerf · 31/07/2017 12:43

You're not having much luck at all @limitedperiodonly Shock

It's just an advanced form of manspreading, I suppose.

SnickersWasAHorse · 31/07/2017 12:51

I love the idea that not wanting random people in your garden is selfish.

SerfTerf · 31/07/2017 12:54

I've ordered two dozen penguin bollards and some cement.

I'll be installing them in the gardens of all the "make him a cup of tea" posters as soon as is practicable. That will uncover the true attitudes Smile

limitedperiodonly · 31/07/2017 14:16

SerfTerf there are a lot of buy-to-let or worse - buy-to-leave , landlords around me. They think I exist to solve their problems, like an unpaid concierge.

I told one person that while her tenant fitted the bill from her point of view as a professional who could cover his rent, he was aggressive and unstable and I would be calling the police if he or she contacted me again about his issues. That was in May.

SerfTerf · 31/07/2017 14:28

Invoice them Smile

TheElementsSong · 31/07/2017 15:30

It turned out he was from next door and had been climbing over the wall for days because my garden was so lovely.

How long before somebody suggests you should have made him a cup of tea and performed a bra-less lapdance because he was doing you a favour by being a man in your garden? Grin

FrannySalinger · 31/07/2017 15:34

This thread is so weird. Not the thread actually, the responses. Don't swear! Make him a cup of tea! Are you always this aggressive (when you find a total stranger has broken into your garden)?

What the actual fuck??

BouncyHedgehog · 31/07/2017 15:43

Franny You just know if OP had said she was really unhappy with the situation, but didn't know what to do and was too scared to say anything, the whole thread would be people saying 'Yabu for being such a wuss, I would've told the cheeky fucker to piss off'. Women can't win sometimes.

FrannySalinger · 31/07/2017 15:49

I totally agree but I was genuinely surprised to be reading this shit on a forum I think of as being used by smart, assertive, educated women.

limitedperiodonly · 31/07/2017 16:32

Believe me Serf, I've thought about it

limitedperiodonly · 31/07/2017 16:35

Anyway, today is the day that I am mortgage free. Hurrah!

Besieged by by-to-let cunts, but they have mortgages and I don't

SerfTerf · 31/07/2017 16:51

Fabulous Wine

How does it feel?

limitedperiodonly · 31/07/2017 17:05

It happens to me lots. It's because there are terraces of houses, many of which are divided into flats, and most of those owned by absentee landlords. It's higgledy-piggledy, so sometimes people get the wrong address - I'm being very charitable here.

Neanderthal workmen and officious clipboard cunts from managing agents feel free to barge in. I've been here 25 years and I can't ever remember anyone knocking on my door and saying 'Hello, I'm Vince from Acme Plumbers or Amber from the Brilliant Tenant Company, I'm here to do such and such.'

That would be okay. However, they just fucking do stuff until I notice them forcing open my shed doors and saying: 'This will have to come down' and go out and say: 'Can I help you?' in the tone of voice that you know is not very helpful at all.

It has often deteriorated to me telling them to fuck off because they don't go when asked nicely and start arguing about access. It's probably because there are a lot of tenants round here - paying a lot of money, as it happens - and people think they can do what the fuck they like on behalf of absentee landlords.

I have never offered one of them a cup of tea, by the way, but I have lavished refreshments on invited guests and even let workmen have a shit in my loo