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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed there's a random man in my garden painting the fence at 7am!

350 replies

GetOutOfMYGarden · 29/07/2017 07:41

I'm a 25 year old woman living alone with two dogs in a terraced house. All houses in the row have an individual garden both in the back and front. I rent, most other people in the row own their house.

Next door has recently decided to renovate their back garden, including installing an (ugly) garage in there, building higher fences and a built in kennel for their three dogs. Wasn't bothered about any of this. To be honest I don't particularly like them that much so I don't mind not seeing them Grin

I came home from an overnight shift today at 7am. Parked behind my back gate as usual and found a random man on a stepladder in my garden painting the fence with Cuprinol! My other neighbour had let my dogs out in the garden at 6:30am for me as she always does when I'm on nights (lovely 89 year old lady who's recently been widowed, I pop in with dinner about twice a week for her and generally check she's okay since she's too depressed to cook for herself atm, her family can't be around every day and so she insists on doing this to 'repay' me) so they were milling around in there happily sniffing at his ladder (lucky I don't rely on them being guard dogs, isn't it!). Oddly enough, they haven't attempted this with the neighbour on the other side of them who has a massive Boerboel in the garden. Neighbours knew I was out for a night shift since they made a bit of conversation when I was leaving last night in my uniform and my car wasn't there. I'm usually back at about 9am but my shifts has ended early

Confronted him and asked who he was, he said the neighbours doing the garden renovations had said I'd given him permission to come into my garden and paint that side of the party fence. Pointed out that I clearly haven't as the gate was double locked and the dogs were out! Tells me 'sorry I thought you'd forgot so I hopped the fence, oh well love let me finish and I'll get out, you'll have to speak to [male neighbour]'. I told him certainly not and to get the fuck out of my garden now before I called the police. Told him that misled by my neighbour or not, I'm telling him right then and there that he had no permission to be in there.

Once he was out of the garden and I'd locked my gate properly again, I went round to knock on the neighbours' front door and ask what the fuck they're playing at. No answer, although they were definitely in, I could hear CBeebies blasted through the wall to my living room for their DS and their cars were all in their usual parking spots. I went upstairs for a wee (bursting at this point Blush) and through the bathroom window I could hear the male neighbour, female neighbour and the painter in his garden bitching about me, calling me a rude bitch! I shouted down mid wee that no, I wasn't, and asked if it was okay for me to come in his bloody garden without permission! No answer to that one.

Neighbours won't answer the door to speak about it and I'm tired after a night shift and I don't feel I can go to sleep until this is sorted lest this cheeky man hop my fence again Sad To be honest if they'd asked and had it done on a day I was in, I'd have given them permission!

OP posts:
whyhastherumgone · 29/07/2017 08:58

@islandbambini me too! Couldn't quite believe what i was reading. MN can be a disturbing eye opener to how some people think sometimes!

OP is your landlord there now? Are they going to talk to the neighbours?

LoniceraJaponica · 29/07/2017 08:58

The NDN are probably typical mumsnetters who never answer their door Confused

asprinklingofsugar · 29/07/2017 09:01

You are definitely not being unreasonable!

Tour · 29/07/2017 09:03

What a cheek! Next time you have a night shift leave all your TVs on full blast.

diddl · 29/07/2017 09:04

"old-fashioned smelly stuff"-creosote?

If OP rents then isn't this something that the LL should be dealing with & asking/telling Op about anyway?

user1495832265 · 29/07/2017 09:06

Spectacularly missing the point but I'm super impressed that OP can get the landlord out at 8.10am on a Saturday morning for this.

HoofWankingSpangleCunt · 29/07/2017 09:06

Respect for the mid wee shouting OP. You are not BU at all.
I can't believe some of the responses on here. And as for kimmy wtaf? I really hope you don't have kids if that's your attitude.
Hope you get some much needed sleep OP.

kittybiscuits · 29/07/2017 09:07

Although the posters who say YABU are the CFNs who think it's okay to trespass in other people's gardens, park on other people's drives, put in french windows to get in other people's gardens etc etc etc. No respect for other people and lacking appropriate boundaries. Has someone reported the cunt who mentioned rape?

user1495025590 · 29/07/2017 09:11

Often housee deeds give access to neighbour for maintenance. I think you totally overreacted.if you have 3 dogs it is your responsibility to keep them fenced in. You should be grateful to your neighbour for putting up a stout fence.
And how could they have asked you if you were out? Maybe the neighbour who lets out your dogs said it was OK ?

Butterymuffin · 29/07/2017 09:13

I'd have been irked by 'you'll have to speak to male neighbour' as if what you're saying yourself doesn't count for anything.

Tiptoethr0ughthetulips · 29/07/2017 09:15

YANBU really but I do think you've over reacted a wee bit.

DevilsDumplings · 29/07/2017 09:17

They should have cleared this with you first.

But in all honesty wouldn't you'd rather the fence be treated/painted than left half finished as it is now?

They were unreasonable not to ask your permission first.

You were unreasonable swearing and being nasty to the decorator who most probably did not know the neighbours had not asked you.

NauticalDisaster · 29/07/2017 09:20

YANBU - I can't believe they didn't seek permission and I can't believe the painter didn't leave when you first asked him. I hope LL sorts out things for you.

AmberStClare · 29/07/2017 09:21

I think you are very brave to confront random man OP. First sign of a stranger in my garden, i wouldn't be looking to see what they were doing, I would have called the police and got them to sort it out.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 29/07/2017 09:22

I just don't get the issue tbh, he's painting a fence not setting of fire works or digging holes in the garden to plant bombs.

The issue is a random man being in her garden doing something he's not authorised.
YANBU OP.

Booboobooboo84 · 29/07/2017 09:23

Can't believe people think it's ok to invade a neighbours garden except in an emergency. What bunch of bellends.

as for you kimmyschmidt go and firmly fuck yourself

morningconstitutional2017 · 29/07/2017 09:23

Yes diddl it was bloody creosote.

Booboobooboo84 · 29/07/2017 09:24

And user rtft she does have 3 dogs her neighbour does. She has 2 dogs and the previous fence was fine for her presumably

Billben · 29/07/2017 09:26

Often housee deeds give access to neighbour for maintenance. I think you totally overreacted.if you have 3 dogs it is your responsibility to keep them fenced in. You should be grateful to your neighbour for putting up a stout fence.
And how could they have asked you if you were out? Maybe the neighbour who lets out your dogs said it was OK ?

Have you actually thought your sentences through before you posted?

OP's dogs were fenced in. The neighbour wasn't putting a sturdy fence up he was having it painted. He also could have asked OP's permission for access when he thought of having the work done (or at least before he had the painter booked in). And I very much doubt that OP's 89 year old neighbour would have given him permission to be honest. And as for deeds giving access for maintenance, you would still ask the neighbour beforehand. You can't just expect to be able to walk about on other people's property when you feel like it even if your deeds do say that you can have access to maintain yours from their property.

faithinthesound · 29/07/2017 09:27

It was a cock up but the painter wasn't at fault

No, he wasn't at fault.

UNTIL the OP asked him to leave and he refused. THEN he was at fault.

BlondeB83 · 29/07/2017 09:28

Sounds like you were very rude, I'm not surprised they were bitching about you! Yes they should have asked permission but ultimately painting your fence for you isn't that big a deal is it?! Hmm

faithinthesound · 29/07/2017 09:29

if you have 3 dogs it is your responsibility to keep them fenced in.

Yeah, she should have a fence INSIDE her fence to make sure anyone coming inside her first fence (unauthorized) aren't in danger from the dogs. (!)

Or people could not come inside the fence without permission!

peachgreen · 29/07/2017 09:32

You're not in the wrong technically but a) no need to be rude to the workman and b) if you'd have given permission anyway this is all a total storm in a teacup. I would have met him carry on and then had a word with the neighbours about not seeking your permission. Can't understand people who make a drama about nothing, especially with neighbours.

faithinthesound · 29/07/2017 09:32

but ultimately painting your fence for you isn't that big a deal is it?!

FFS YOU DO NOT GET TO TELL THE OP WHAT IS AND WHAT IS NOT A BIG DEAL.

It sounds to me like the biggest deal for OP was having a strange man on her property without permission or prior notice, when she is a woman on her own.

And ultimately, it doesn't matter if he was painting the fence, replacing the fence, taking the fence down and using the pieces to summon Cthulhu, stripping naked and dancing the hoochy-coo, or asking OP if she's heard of his Lord and Savior Fency-Christ - it's HER PROPERTY. IF SHE DOES NOT WANT HIM THERE, HE HAS NO RIGHT TO BE THERE.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 29/07/2017 09:33

painting your fence for you isn't that big a deal is it?! hmm

It is if there is someone in you garden without you having permitted it.
Are you happy to have random men working unannounced in your garden, Blonde?