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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed there's a random man in my garden painting the fence at 7am!

350 replies

GetOutOfMYGarden · 29/07/2017 07:41

I'm a 25 year old woman living alone with two dogs in a terraced house. All houses in the row have an individual garden both in the back and front. I rent, most other people in the row own their house.

Next door has recently decided to renovate their back garden, including installing an (ugly) garage in there, building higher fences and a built in kennel for their three dogs. Wasn't bothered about any of this. To be honest I don't particularly like them that much so I don't mind not seeing them Grin

I came home from an overnight shift today at 7am. Parked behind my back gate as usual and found a random man on a stepladder in my garden painting the fence with Cuprinol! My other neighbour had let my dogs out in the garden at 6:30am for me as she always does when I'm on nights (lovely 89 year old lady who's recently been widowed, I pop in with dinner about twice a week for her and generally check she's okay since she's too depressed to cook for herself atm, her family can't be around every day and so she insists on doing this to 'repay' me) so they were milling around in there happily sniffing at his ladder (lucky I don't rely on them being guard dogs, isn't it!). Oddly enough, they haven't attempted this with the neighbour on the other side of them who has a massive Boerboel in the garden. Neighbours knew I was out for a night shift since they made a bit of conversation when I was leaving last night in my uniform and my car wasn't there. I'm usually back at about 9am but my shifts has ended early

Confronted him and asked who he was, he said the neighbours doing the garden renovations had said I'd given him permission to come into my garden and paint that side of the party fence. Pointed out that I clearly haven't as the gate was double locked and the dogs were out! Tells me 'sorry I thought you'd forgot so I hopped the fence, oh well love let me finish and I'll get out, you'll have to speak to [male neighbour]'. I told him certainly not and to get the fuck out of my garden now before I called the police. Told him that misled by my neighbour or not, I'm telling him right then and there that he had no permission to be in there.

Once he was out of the garden and I'd locked my gate properly again, I went round to knock on the neighbours' front door and ask what the fuck they're playing at. No answer, although they were definitely in, I could hear CBeebies blasted through the wall to my living room for their DS and their cars were all in their usual parking spots. I went upstairs for a wee (bursting at this point Blush) and through the bathroom window I could hear the male neighbour, female neighbour and the painter in his garden bitching about me, calling me a rude bitch! I shouted down mid wee that no, I wasn't, and asked if it was okay for me to come in his bloody garden without permission! No answer to that one.

Neighbours won't answer the door to speak about it and I'm tired after a night shift and I don't feel I can go to sleep until this is sorted lest this cheeky man hop my fence again Sad To be honest if they'd asked and had it done on a day I was in, I'd have given them permission!

OP posts:
limitedperiodonly · 31/07/2017 17:15

Being mortgage-free feels very grown up Serf. We should have a party.

I think the next step is a grave plot. I used to have one of those for my dad. But now my mum is in it. It was a formality, she wanted me to own it so that when she died she could go on top of him, as usual. That's happened but there is no room for me.

My pension plan is shit so I might as well be thrown out with the rubbish Grin.

prettybird · 31/07/2017 17:18

Limitedperiod - your experience reminds me of a story that dh tells:

When he was a teenager, his parents lived in the top floor of a tenement. The attic had been converted and his brother and he shared a bedroom that had a dormer window. One morning they got woken up by workmen demolishing the dormer! Shock

Turns out the council had either not made it clear to the workmen or hadn't realised that his parents owned that flat, so when they came to replace the roof, they just assumed that the dormer wasn't supposed to be there! Shock

It was replaced at the Council's expense, but instead of a nice Victorian stone and slate dormer, it was an ugly brick one Sad At least it wasn't too visible from the road Wink

Ladymadness · 31/07/2017 18:22

Flipping heck ! Cfns are out an mass lately 😂

limitedperiodonly · 31/07/2017 18:32

Doesn't surprise me prettybird. I remember my mum in the 70s roaring out of the house one day because some workmen from the council wanted to put a road road sign on the side of our house - ex-council.

They had a ladder up and were about to bash it in when she went out. They were giving her all the old flannel: 'We've got to do this, love . We're from the council.' She was having none of it and kicked the ladder.

They said they'd call the police and she said she'd call her husband - my dad was skulking indoors at the time. After a stand off they retreated and she threw the sign after them. They never returned. I learned everything I need to know at her knee.

No way would she make them a cuppa

Ladymadness · 31/07/2017 18:45

I'm actually shocked at the amount of people saying op shouldn't have sworn at the cfwm (cheeky fucker work man) are we all 5 years old ? If I came home to a strange man in my garden who refused to leave after being asked politely I would be swearing like a sailor! No way would I be offering tea and biscuits

limitedperiodonly · 31/07/2017 19:19

It's all so tawdry Ladymadness, and he's just an honest man trying to earn a crust Hmm

My reaction, it's not to do with fear, more WTF are you doing? Round here they're usually sent by managing agents on behalf of amateur landlords. I spend a lot of time fending off these fuckers who seem to think that as an owner-occupier I have to facilitate their pension plan.

ScrambledSmegs · 31/07/2017 19:33

I once grandly told a man with a chainsaw to 'Get off my land' Blush. I don't live in a stately home.

Apparently he was trimming my neighbour's hedge and wanted to reach a tricky bit from our side. Would have been nice if someone had asked us first instead of just letting himself into our garden. Neighbours were very apologetic when they found out what he'd done.

Ladymadness · 31/07/2017 19:47

Limeted don't get me wrong I appreciate that the man is just trying to do his job and would have respectfully asked him to leave but when he refused then yes I would be angry and most likely swear

Iv had neighbours ask if there workmen can come into my garden because there fence had blew down and been damaged and there is no problem. I think it's just the fact that he has let himself in and then refused to leave that would anger me

SchadenfreudePersonified · 31/07/2017 19:57

I think the next step is a grave plot. I used to have one of those for my dad. But now my mum is in it. It was a formality, she wanted me to own it so that when she died she could go on top of him, as usual

Reminds me of a lad I used to know - his dad died and he returned North of the Border for the funeral.

When he came back I offered my commiserations and he said.

"Thanks - but it's my mother who needs your sympathy"

"I thought your mam died a couple of years ago?"

"She did, but it's the same grave, and now she's got that miserable bugger on top of her for all eternity"

limitedperiodonly · 31/07/2017 20:46

Ladymadness don't get me wrong either. I was joking. I would and have sworn at unexpected workmen in my garden too. Smile

leafprint · 31/07/2017 22:14

Ha! And I got deleted because I said I didn't believe that anyone would really allow random people to paint their fences whenever they felt like it, never mind make tea for the inturder, and that posters who said this were being 'false'.

And (in a very short rant!) said intruders be they male, female or martian could fuck off!

And wondered why the NDN with the Boerbel dog isn't told he is over reacting?

Hardly offensive - but it is obviously preferable to some on MN (and to MNHQ) that we just roll over and let other people do as they please and any other non-compliant views will be squashed and deleted.

I've had similar expereicnes to limited unfortunately (but am a tenant so fully understand the LL/ agent pisstaking) and really have had enough of some people thinking they can just do as they please and I should accommodate them. My sympathies limited it really does get annoying.

And I also wished the OP good luck with getting the problem sorted.

Oh yes, and also said that it if the man/ CFN turned violent when challenged then he would end up in jail and in that case society and his wife would be better off. I stand by that view!

SteamTrainsRealAleandOpenFires · 31/07/2017 22:23

I do hope that the wife of "CFN" decides to kick the bastard out & then divorces him.

Slimthistime · 01/08/2017 09:56

also wondering what the posters who thought this was okay think now.

people who don't just have the decency to ask are always gits.

gingergenius · 01/08/2017 09:58

I'd have been pissed off too OP. YANBU

limitedperiodonly · 02/08/2017 12:13

I have the day off and just now listened to a conversation between my neighbour and someone I take to be a professional garden designer who's come to give him a quote.

The gardener was enthusiastically slagging off my garden. Really going for it. My neighbour was going: 'Mmm. Mmm.' I don't know whether that's because he's polite - he's very nice, the CFN/absentee landlords with the crazy tenant who called me a fat arsehole are on the other side - or because he noticed that my back door was open and realised I was in and could hear every word.

Anyway, if he does engage this git, there is no way he's coming into my garden to do any work and zero chance of getting a cup of tea unless it's flung at his face.

Slimthistime · 02/08/2017 13:17

I'd have gone outside and smiled at the gardener.

limitedperiodonly · 02/08/2017 14:06

I should have done slim but I felt intimidated in my standard at-home gear of bobbly navy vest with faded Kangol logo - no bra- my husband's threadbare elasticated grey shorts and black rubber mules favoured by pool attendants or perverts. Pale hairy legs, greasy hair, yesterday's make up.

Looking back, I should have gone out there and smiled. It would have terrified them.

LagunaBubbles · 02/08/2017 14:39

If you had been a bit more reasonable yourself, this could have all been sorted amicably

It would never have happened in the first place if the neighbour had been "reasonable" and spoke to her, someone i doubt anyone who is that cheeky and entitled would be reasonable either.

SerfTerf · 02/08/2017 15:59

Is the CFN still on the run?

GetOutOfMYGarden · 02/08/2017 18:48

His car is now back, CFN hasn't shown his face though!

OP posts:
SteppingOnToes · 03/08/2017 00:33

How rude!

limitedperiodonly · 03/08/2017 11:41

I think people who do things like this are the sort of people who say they don't want confrontation. Instead of having a conversation they go ahead and do it and hope you won't notice or complain. When you do, they act all hurt and surprised.

OP's CFN sounds like he likes confrontation, but I think many people like him do, right up until the point when they get it. Then they do what he's done and run off.

I'm always saying to my husband: 'Why did they do that and not expect a reaction?' He says: 'Because most people aren't like you and they get away with it.'

Can you tell this has happened to me a lot? Grin

Questioningeverything · 05/08/2017 16:11

Update? Please?

ilikefastcars · 06/08/2017 09:19

Any update?

Mumblebeebee · 06/08/2017 12:27

The poor wife of the CFN, she must be long suffering. I hope the CFN gets a warning from the police and pipes down a bit, he sounds very volatile.

Poor you living next door.

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