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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed there's a random man in my garden painting the fence at 7am!

350 replies

GetOutOfMYGarden · 29/07/2017 07:41

I'm a 25 year old woman living alone with two dogs in a terraced house. All houses in the row have an individual garden both in the back and front. I rent, most other people in the row own their house.

Next door has recently decided to renovate their back garden, including installing an (ugly) garage in there, building higher fences and a built in kennel for their three dogs. Wasn't bothered about any of this. To be honest I don't particularly like them that much so I don't mind not seeing them Grin

I came home from an overnight shift today at 7am. Parked behind my back gate as usual and found a random man on a stepladder in my garden painting the fence with Cuprinol! My other neighbour had let my dogs out in the garden at 6:30am for me as she always does when I'm on nights (lovely 89 year old lady who's recently been widowed, I pop in with dinner about twice a week for her and generally check she's okay since she's too depressed to cook for herself atm, her family can't be around every day and so she insists on doing this to 'repay' me) so they were milling around in there happily sniffing at his ladder (lucky I don't rely on them being guard dogs, isn't it!). Oddly enough, they haven't attempted this with the neighbour on the other side of them who has a massive Boerboel in the garden. Neighbours knew I was out for a night shift since they made a bit of conversation when I was leaving last night in my uniform and my car wasn't there. I'm usually back at about 9am but my shifts has ended early

Confronted him and asked who he was, he said the neighbours doing the garden renovations had said I'd given him permission to come into my garden and paint that side of the party fence. Pointed out that I clearly haven't as the gate was double locked and the dogs were out! Tells me 'sorry I thought you'd forgot so I hopped the fence, oh well love let me finish and I'll get out, you'll have to speak to [male neighbour]'. I told him certainly not and to get the fuck out of my garden now before I called the police. Told him that misled by my neighbour or not, I'm telling him right then and there that he had no permission to be in there.

Once he was out of the garden and I'd locked my gate properly again, I went round to knock on the neighbours' front door and ask what the fuck they're playing at. No answer, although they were definitely in, I could hear CBeebies blasted through the wall to my living room for their DS and their cars were all in their usual parking spots. I went upstairs for a wee (bursting at this point Blush) and through the bathroom window I could hear the male neighbour, female neighbour and the painter in his garden bitching about me, calling me a rude bitch! I shouted down mid wee that no, I wasn't, and asked if it was okay for me to come in his bloody garden without permission! No answer to that one.

Neighbours won't answer the door to speak about it and I'm tired after a night shift and I don't feel I can go to sleep until this is sorted lest this cheeky man hop my fence again Sad To be honest if they'd asked and had it done on a day I was in, I'd have given them permission!

OP posts:
VeryButchyRestingFace · 29/07/2017 10:17

What does "CFN" mean, please?

I thought it meant Ciao for now.

** Sad

HaudYerWheeshtBawbag · 29/07/2017 10:18

Also OP is RENTING and she needs to return the property in a similar state when she leaves whether the neighbour did it or not. So the OP now has to do the above or loses a portion of her deposit for the fence to be repainted

Why do people sprint absolute rubbish when they have no idea what they are talking about. The fence isn't the OP's or the LL, she doesn't have to do anything, its next doors property that they paid for!!

HaudYerWheeshtBawbag · 29/07/2017 10:18

*sprout

Leaspr · 29/07/2017 10:18

CFN - Cheeky F**king Neighbour

Elendon · 29/07/2017 10:19

YANBU

I too would have been livid to discover this after coming back from a night shift. In fact I think you have been very restrained in your response.

MineKraftCheese · 29/07/2017 10:19

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

VeryButchyRestingFace · 29/07/2017 10:20

CFN - Cheeky Fking Neighbour

Thank you! 🌻

Crispdeficiency · 29/07/2017 10:20

Bilben sorry but that in itself is quite rude to suggest that people who do happen to think the op (who did ask) was being unreasonable are "cheeky fuckers".

Unless you live in splendid isolation, sometimes people will need access to your fence/overhanging tree/adjoining path and all of this can be achieved by basic manners and communication - and both the participants in this example were in the wrong - the neighbour for not asking permission, and the op for swearing at a workman.

Chardonnay again your landlord should have given you advance warning, but presumably he was paying to have the hedges maintained for you, what did shouting at the hedge-trimmers and seeing them off ultimately achieve? A bit of compromise would not go amiss in these situations.

Gingerandgivingzerofucks · 29/07/2017 10:21

YANBU. What a massive cheek! They were clearing trying to get it done whilst you were out. I hope they don't start a campaign of noise now. Definitely worth popping round later to explain why you were (rightly) cross.

Crispdeficiency · 29/07/2017 10:25

Minecraftcheese Another one! Do you not see the irony that calling people "fucking cunts" is very rude in itself? When you are criticising the neighbour for bad manners? Jeez.

LakieLady · 29/07/2017 10:31

Definitely NBU. The CFNs ABVU.

I felt a little bit sorry for the man, who had been lied to by the CFNs, but he should have left as soon as he knew he was there without permission. I stopped feeling sorry for him when he bitched about OP being rude but not about the CFNs lying to him!

Crispdeficiency · 29/07/2017 10:40

And why assume the neighbour's were trying to do it behind op's back? Maybe they had arranged to have it done while the op was at work in order not to disturb her? (She says she came back from work early.). They definitely were in the wrong not to have asked permission first, but their motives might not have been all bad (over-invested in thread or what)

JacquesHammer · 29/07/2017 10:49

I felt a little bit sorry for the man, who had been lied to by the CFNs, but he should have left as soon as he knew he was there without permission. I stopped feeling sorry for him when he bitched about OP being rude but not about the CFNs lying to him!

To be fair at that point he only has one side of the story - I don't think the OP was unreasonable to ask him to stop. But even when he demured at leaving a firm "No, please leave now" would have been far preferable to swearing at the chap.

I am interested to see what happens next, obviously neighbours should have asked permission - that goes without saying - but now OP has a half-painted fence.

RestingBitchFaced · 29/07/2017 10:57

YANBU! Apart from ringing your landlord at 8am on a sat when it's not an emergency

Crispdeficiency · 29/07/2017 10:59

Also, where are all these workmen who magically fit in to everyone else's schedules? Ime, if they are any good, you tend to accept their suggested times because they won't be available again for another six months. Not that this excuses the neighbour's lack of communication though.

Hope you managed to get some sleep op.

EwanWhosearmy · 29/07/2017 11:02

I can't believe the posters trying to justify this Shock

I would be furious to find a stranger in my garden, whatever they were doing. A few years ago now we had a nasty JR terrier who would have absolutely gone for any stranger setting foot in our garden - what would have happened had OP's dogs done the same? What if painter had decided to go out of the gate and not locked up properly?

If you want to do something on anyone else's property the onus is on you to ask permission, not assume and help yourself.

peppykoala · 29/07/2017 11:05

Definitely NBU. It's horrible when you're on your own & someone invades your space, can make you feel v vulnerable!

Sounds like the issue may be with the dispute over fence with your landlord though - they were just trying to sneak it all through before you could tell her about it!

Slimthistime · 29/07/2017 11:09

OP you're right to be concerned
A mate of mine got home from work to find a builder in her garden doing work on a wall of next door's that couldn't be accessed any other way

Except....he wasn't working. He'd fallen off the ladder and hit his head, hurt his leg and was lying there in a daze. Next door wasn't home. He was so relieved to see help arrive of course that was lucky for him....but she was, understandably, furious with the neighbour.

Rossigigi · 29/07/2017 11:12

OP you have every reason to go ballistic. Love your guard Dogs though, mine when I had them would have let someone in to Woof

MineKraftCheese · 29/07/2017 11:45

@Crispdeficiency is there any situation in which sweating wouldn't be considered rude by you? Can I call someone a cunt if they punch me? Steal from me?

MineKraftCheese · 29/07/2017 11:45

@Crispdeficiency swearing not sweating Grin

PovertyPain · 29/07/2017 11:54

I love a good swear word. I've discovered some wonderful insults on Mumsnet. wanders off, trying to remember swear words/insults in alphabetical order

PovertyPain · 29/07/2017 11:54

I love a good swear word. I've discovered some wonderful insults on Mumsnet. wanders off, trying to remember swear words/insults in alphabetical order

Ghjklf · 29/07/2017 12:03

OP you have every reason to go ballistic

Really? Even if the OP is in the right what's the point of going 'ballistic'. It's so dramatic and likely to cause more upset and hostilities. Why chose to put so much energy into something that doesn't need it and could be dealt with without going all Pat Butcher.

I know it makes for more entertaining threads but the suggestions for how to deal with CFNs on Mumsnet are often ridiculous. Why escalate things with people you live next door to.

I've dealt with a CFN myself. It was fence related too. The guy was a twat but I didn't raise my voice at all. He came around later and apologized for being a dick and we all moved on. It make for a boring MN thread but better for me to live with.

Member652554 · 29/07/2017 12:16

Completely unnecessary to swear at a workman. He was doing a job he was contracted for. The dispute is not his problem tbh. You could have made yourself clear without the rudeness. Also shouting mid way urination sounds pretty crazy too. As seen as the situation is already in the court, let the owners fight it out.

Are you sure this is the only thing you are stressing about or are there other things going on in your life that is making you tense .

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