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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed there's a random man in my garden painting the fence at 7am!

350 replies

GetOutOfMYGarden · 29/07/2017 07:41

I'm a 25 year old woman living alone with two dogs in a terraced house. All houses in the row have an individual garden both in the back and front. I rent, most other people in the row own their house.

Next door has recently decided to renovate their back garden, including installing an (ugly) garage in there, building higher fences and a built in kennel for their three dogs. Wasn't bothered about any of this. To be honest I don't particularly like them that much so I don't mind not seeing them Grin

I came home from an overnight shift today at 7am. Parked behind my back gate as usual and found a random man on a stepladder in my garden painting the fence with Cuprinol! My other neighbour had let my dogs out in the garden at 6:30am for me as she always does when I'm on nights (lovely 89 year old lady who's recently been widowed, I pop in with dinner about twice a week for her and generally check she's okay since she's too depressed to cook for herself atm, her family can't be around every day and so she insists on doing this to 'repay' me) so they were milling around in there happily sniffing at his ladder (lucky I don't rely on them being guard dogs, isn't it!). Oddly enough, they haven't attempted this with the neighbour on the other side of them who has a massive Boerboel in the garden. Neighbours knew I was out for a night shift since they made a bit of conversation when I was leaving last night in my uniform and my car wasn't there. I'm usually back at about 9am but my shifts has ended early

Confronted him and asked who he was, he said the neighbours doing the garden renovations had said I'd given him permission to come into my garden and paint that side of the party fence. Pointed out that I clearly haven't as the gate was double locked and the dogs were out! Tells me 'sorry I thought you'd forgot so I hopped the fence, oh well love let me finish and I'll get out, you'll have to speak to [male neighbour]'. I told him certainly not and to get the fuck out of my garden now before I called the police. Told him that misled by my neighbour or not, I'm telling him right then and there that he had no permission to be in there.

Once he was out of the garden and I'd locked my gate properly again, I went round to knock on the neighbours' front door and ask what the fuck they're playing at. No answer, although they were definitely in, I could hear CBeebies blasted through the wall to my living room for their DS and their cars were all in their usual parking spots. I went upstairs for a wee (bursting at this point Blush) and through the bathroom window I could hear the male neighbour, female neighbour and the painter in his garden bitching about me, calling me a rude bitch! I shouted down mid wee that no, I wasn't, and asked if it was okay for me to come in his bloody garden without permission! No answer to that one.

Neighbours won't answer the door to speak about it and I'm tired after a night shift and I don't feel I can go to sleep until this is sorted lest this cheeky man hop my fence again Sad To be honest if they'd asked and had it done on a day I was in, I'd have given them permission!

OP posts:
JuicyNectarine · 30/07/2017 00:32

So right on staples and if his car gets blocked in then he saves on petrol too, what lovely neighbours!

Patriciathestripper1 · 30/07/2017 00:48

staples I'm not a fucking spokes person for the painter.
I was replying to the op as this thread is is in AIBU. not the rest of the fucking street who she has dragged in to make herself look better.
I do think she was being unreasonable.
If she had come home SN hour later she probably wouldn't if dvdn noticed. End of thread.
If the neighbours have gone to the trouble and expense of putting up a fence then why the fuck shouldn't they do the best to preserve it?

Patriciathestripper1 · 30/07/2017 00:50

'An' and 'wouldn't have' fucking autocorrect.

Ghjklf · 30/07/2017 01:10

OPs last post completely changes the 'make the workman a cup of tea and let him get on with it' stance.

OP you described the fence as a party fence in the OP and as the neighbours fence in other posts. Had I known the neighbour had ripped down her landlords stone wall and replaced it with a fence (WTF!) I would have also asked the workman to stop work immediately I would have tried to keep it civil but I would have definitely asked him to stop. Under no circumstances would I have made him a cup of tea. ☕️☕️

OP, what did you say when he ripped down the stone wall? I bet your landlord was livid! I'm amazed that in your OP that you said you would have given permission to your neighbour to paint the fence if he had only asked. 😱😱. If someone had ripped up my landlords stone wall I wouldn't have given him permission to paint a fence he put up in its place. I've gone from thinking you over reacted to thinking you were a bit of a pushover 😂 You can't win!

Ghjklf · 30/07/2017 01:17

Sorry for typos

StaplesCorner · 30/07/2017 01:26

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Goldfishshoals · 30/07/2017 01:54

Can't believe the number of people on this thread who think you have to be polite to someone knowingly trespassing on your property and refusing to leave Confused.

TheMaddHugger · 30/07/2017 05:15

Have you lot got a full Moon over there. What's with the extra crazy CFN's

Oi. ((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))) Op and Long suffering CNN's Wife and Boebel owner and sick child Sad

To be annoyed there's a random man in my garden painting the fence at 7am!
PunjanaTea · 30/07/2017 07:27

YANBU OP. Your neighbour sounds like a wanker. I would also have been angry at finding an unknown man in my garden painting my fence and even more angry when he refused to leave my property.

There are some strange people on mumsnet you think that by saying the word fuck you lose the right to not have strange men trespassing on your property Confused

kittybiscuits · 30/07/2017 08:02

Far too many knobheads...

SnickersWasAHorse · 30/07/2017 08:03

not the rest of the fucking street who she has dragged in to make herself look better.

That's an interesting interpretation of events.

Anniegetyourgun · 30/07/2017 08:07

I like to think I would have been polite but firm, but rather suspect I would have lost it at the same point the OP did. How dare this random bod tell me - the rightful resident - that I would "have to" speak to the person who had no right to give him permission to be there? Where the (and I'm going to use that word) fuck does he get off telling me he won't be politely packing up and buggering off my premises this very instant?

Cup of fucking tea indeed . I don't even give cups of tea to authorised workmen unless I hired 'em. If they're working for me then it's tea all the way and even biscuits if required, but if it's for the neighbour then it's neighbour's job to make them tea. I would also point out that OP had just returned home from a night shift so expecting her to skivvy for someone else's employee instead of getting to bed is barkin'.

And the clincher is, the fence isn't even supposed to exist!

Lostinaseaofbubbles · 30/07/2017 08:29

LL needs to find some photos of the garden as it was and look into claiming from him for criminal damage for removing the wall. How on earth did she manage to get herself in the small claims court over this with him saying she owes him. It sounds like he needs to pay in full for damages to the wall and if it needs to be replaced by a fence because he took down the wall then he needs to foot the bill.

picklemepopcorn · 30/07/2017 08:30

If I found a man in my garden, who wasn't the window cleaner or a tradesman I had asked to be there, I would have reacted as OP did.

Whatever is the world coming to when we are so socialised to politeness that we are expected to welcome an uninvited stranger in our garden?

cansu · 30/07/2017 09:03

I think I would have let him finish the job tbh. Yes they should have asked but I think causing a massive bust up for the sake of someone painting your side of a fence is a bit ridiculous. You are presenting it as a threat to you as a single woman but you don't sound much like your were threatened or intimidated, you just sound angry! My neighbours fence panel blew down not so long ago. He fixed it, this involved coming into my garden to hold panel in correct position. I watched him and his mate from the window where I was ironing. It really never occurred to me to go out and tell them to get out of my garden! They pissed about a bit and eventually sorted it and went back in. End of. Yours could have ended in a similar way if you hadn't gone mental about it.

LatteLady · 30/07/2017 09:12

OP, of course you were not being unreasonable, trespass and damage together with starting work before 8:00am at the weekend, just not on.

To make you feel a touch better, I returned home on Thursday to find soot, silt and bricks in and around my morning room fireplace. Transpired my nice but dim NDN was replacing his windows at the rear of the house and decided to repoint just his half of the chimney stack... leading to the collapse on my side! If the idiot had asked, I would have been happy to go halves... sighs.

TheElementsSong · 30/07/2017 09:14

Whatever is the world coming to when we are so socialised to politeness that we are expected to welcome an uninvited stranger in our garden?

It's because she's a woman, innit? Angry

PurityOfChaos · 30/07/2017 09:30

YWNBU you shouldn't have to put up with someone working in your garden for the benefit of others and of no benefit to you especially when you weren't even asked for permission.

To the poster who mentioned neighbours crossing into their garden to erect a fence panel, my neighbours tradesmen did the same thing and it did bother me because they didn't ask. I didn't challenge them though because I realise it was essential work, painting the other side of your fence in someone else's garden isn't.

MrsHathaway · 30/07/2017 09:57

I think I would have let him finish the job tbh.

But as a tenant she doesn't have the authority. If the LL hasn't given permission for changes to the boundary (and given the ongoing dispute it appears she wouldn't have) then it isn't for the tenant to do so.

If you want to paint a fence and don't have access, you take the panel out and paint it elsewhere, then replace it. And you politely ask the neighbours to keep the dog(s) in while the boundary is insecure.

Isn't there MN precedent for what happens about the "other" side of a fence? I think it's a front garden and the neighbour (reasonably) wanted to paint the new fence to treat it but the OP (reasonably) wanted to have a say over what colour she'd be staring at whilst washing up. I remember the conflict but not the resolution.

Why can't people just be nice to each other?

Elendon · 30/07/2017 10:56

There is a saying 'Good fences makes good neighbours' and apologies if this has been mentioned before.

My ex NDN's (semi d) put up coconut screens against the new fence we had installed (at a lot of expense and we accommodated his awful apple tree, which he later took down. TBH, I didn't care as I really just liked that they kept themselves to themselves.

SerfTerf · 30/07/2017 11:06

It's because she's a woman, innit?

Yep.

Intruder vandalising your property?

Be nice, be LADYLIKE and for FUCKS sake don't swear at him.

Hmm
Elendon · 30/07/2017 11:11

I agree Serf and TheElements

Swearing is so unladylike. Especially towards a workman.

It's interesting to see the difference between this and the thread regarding the listed building (which is on it's nth thread by now)

SerfTerf · 30/07/2017 11:21

OP is female, young AND a lowly tenant.

A recipe for a clutch of batshit responses TBH @Elendon .

Elendon · 30/07/2017 11:33

I agree. TBH I would have been less restrained than GetOutOfMYGarden in the response. She kept her cool only because she understood the danger.

SnickersWasAHorse · 30/07/2017 11:58

Be nice, be LADYLIKE and for FUCKS sake don't swear at him

Ladies, have you come home from a long shift to find a random workman in your private property? Don't tell him to clear off like the big man from two doors down did. You can't do that you are a lady. You must be grateful that he is doing a man job for you. Don't worry about going to bed even though you are knackered from a night shift, make him a cup of tea and take him a biscuit. If he still isn't happy then let him have a go on your tits. It's your ladylike duty.
Remember, don't swear, be thankful that this big man has turned up to do a big man job for you. Other man have been asked and think you should.