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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed there's a random man in my garden painting the fence at 7am!

350 replies

GetOutOfMYGarden · 29/07/2017 07:41

I'm a 25 year old woman living alone with two dogs in a terraced house. All houses in the row have an individual garden both in the back and front. I rent, most other people in the row own their house.

Next door has recently decided to renovate their back garden, including installing an (ugly) garage in there, building higher fences and a built in kennel for their three dogs. Wasn't bothered about any of this. To be honest I don't particularly like them that much so I don't mind not seeing them Grin

I came home from an overnight shift today at 7am. Parked behind my back gate as usual and found a random man on a stepladder in my garden painting the fence with Cuprinol! My other neighbour had let my dogs out in the garden at 6:30am for me as she always does when I'm on nights (lovely 89 year old lady who's recently been widowed, I pop in with dinner about twice a week for her and generally check she's okay since she's too depressed to cook for herself atm, her family can't be around every day and so she insists on doing this to 'repay' me) so they were milling around in there happily sniffing at his ladder (lucky I don't rely on them being guard dogs, isn't it!). Oddly enough, they haven't attempted this with the neighbour on the other side of them who has a massive Boerboel in the garden. Neighbours knew I was out for a night shift since they made a bit of conversation when I was leaving last night in my uniform and my car wasn't there. I'm usually back at about 9am but my shifts has ended early

Confronted him and asked who he was, he said the neighbours doing the garden renovations had said I'd given him permission to come into my garden and paint that side of the party fence. Pointed out that I clearly haven't as the gate was double locked and the dogs were out! Tells me 'sorry I thought you'd forgot so I hopped the fence, oh well love let me finish and I'll get out, you'll have to speak to [male neighbour]'. I told him certainly not and to get the fuck out of my garden now before I called the police. Told him that misled by my neighbour or not, I'm telling him right then and there that he had no permission to be in there.

Once he was out of the garden and I'd locked my gate properly again, I went round to knock on the neighbours' front door and ask what the fuck they're playing at. No answer, although they were definitely in, I could hear CBeebies blasted through the wall to my living room for their DS and their cars were all in their usual parking spots. I went upstairs for a wee (bursting at this point Blush) and through the bathroom window I could hear the male neighbour, female neighbour and the painter in his garden bitching about me, calling me a rude bitch! I shouted down mid wee that no, I wasn't, and asked if it was okay for me to come in his bloody garden without permission! No answer to that one.

Neighbours won't answer the door to speak about it and I'm tired after a night shift and I don't feel I can go to sleep until this is sorted lest this cheeky man hop my fence again Sad To be honest if they'd asked and had it done on a day I was in, I'd have given them permission!

OP posts:
Elendon · 30/07/2017 12:13

If he still isn't happy then let him have a go on your tits. It's your ladylike duty.

I think I would have let him finish the job tbh.

And there you have it. Women shut up and put up. Especially if you are not the owner of a grade 2 listed house/flat.

and a lowly tenant

Ghjklf · 30/07/2017 12:47

Elendon

The posters saying they would have let him get on with it did so BEFORE the OPs latest posts in which she says the neighbour took down her stone wall without permission. The idea that the OP was told to suck it up because she was a female tenant fits a lot of Mumsnet agendas but in my case the advice was 100% not because of that.

The fact that I've changed my advice completely since the OP clarified the situation with the stone wall and fence would suggest what I'm saying is true. 🤷🏻‍♀️

TheElementsSong · 30/07/2017 13:25

neighbour took down her stone wall without permission

IMO, it's not about a wall or a fence. Even if the neighbour had been putting up the Elgin marbles with a border of gold bullion, the OP was still within her rights to be annoyed that a random dude had trespassed on her property, done stuff without being asked and refused to leave until she shouted at him.

JuicyNectarine · 30/07/2017 14:15

???

Neighbour wants to access OP's property, neighbour asks for permission before doing so. Anything else deserves a big fuck off.

Wall destruction, landlord etc all not the point. Neighbours should be asked for access, permission should be sought.

Note the total lack of suggestions that boerbel neighbour sticks the kettle on.

Outrageous sexism on this thread from the very start!

Narnia72 · 30/07/2017 14:24

Random musing, did it not occur to the CFN that it is far easier to paint fence panels BEFORE putting them up?

SnickersWasAHorse · 30/07/2017 14:27

It all rather depends on how the conversation went.

OP: oh hello random man. What are you doing here?
Random man: did Mr Nextdoor say? He wanted me to paint the fence to save you a job. Sorry, I thought he had asked you. I'll just finish this bit and I'll be off.
OP: fuck you random man. Fuck off now before I set the dogs on you you cunt.

Or

OP: hello random man, what are you doing?
RM: morning sugar tits. I'm painting your fence. Put the kettle on, there's a love.
OP: I'd really rather you weren't standing in my property uninvited. I've just got off a night shift and I want to go to bed.
RM: just let me finish this and stop moaning. Stop being so damn touchy.
Two sugars please.
OP: please leave.
RM: nope. A biscuit would be nice.
OP: will you just fuck the fuck off. I've just finished a night shift and I want to go to bed.
RM: keep your hair on love. I love a nurses uniform me.

burdog · 30/07/2017 14:33

Your neighbour's handiman can come round and paint my fence if he wants. Both sides even, I don't mind. wilfully misses point of thread

SerfTerf · 30/07/2017 15:20

IMO, it's not about a wall or a fence. Even if the neighbour had been putting up the Elgin marbles with a border of gold bullion, the OP was still within her rights to be annoyed that a random dude had trespassed on her property, done stuff without being asked and refused to leave until she shouted at him.

Exactly.

MineKraftCheese · 30/07/2017 15:31

@SnickersWasAHorse

From one of OP's posts (bold added by me):

"Told him to get the fuck out after he refused to leave after I told him to. Asked him politely, then he said no and to go speak to my neighbour about it and refused to move after being asked again."

SnickersWasAHorse · 30/07/2017 15:49

Thank you Mine.
Which makes me even more shocked at the people saying she should have been thankful and put the kettle on.
If someone is standing in your property uninvited and refuses to leave at what point is it ok to tell them to fuck off?

uglyswan · 30/07/2017 16:08

Snickers, the correct response is always: "Get the fuck out of my garden please."

TheweewitchRoz · 30/07/2017 17:01

YANBU Op - well done for telling him to fuck off as that's all he deserved.

Your neighbour sounds like a nightmare though, so make sure you stay safe.

Ghjklf · 30/07/2017 17:13

Literally NO ONE suggested that once she had asked the workman to leave AND he had refused that it would have been a good idea to offer him a coffee. That would be obviously be stupid. 🙄

Any offering of coffee would have only been done before the workman had been asked and had refused to leave. Is that really that hard to understand 🤷🏻‍♀️

It's irrelevant anyhow following the OPs post about the garden wall being knocked down

I wonder what happened when the police visited. 🤔

SteamTrainsRealAleandOpenFires · 30/07/2017 17:52

OP has the CFN been back yet? I hope the cops were called aswell.

SteamTrainsRealAleandOpenFires · 30/07/2017 17:54

Never mind I see that they were called. Blush

Bluntness100 · 30/07/2017 18:06

WTAF. So both body builder and op Chuck guy out trying to paint fence. Cfn smashes body builders window with a pant brush. The police are on their way. Where do you live, the set of eastenders?

twattymctwatterson · 30/07/2017 18:57

I genuinely couldn't get worked up about this. You've totally overreacted over something really quite insignificant and we're really rude

SnickersWasAHorse · 30/07/2017 18:59

Literally NO ONE suggested that once she had asked the workman to leave AND he had refused that it would have been a good idea to offer him a coffee. That would be obviously be stupid. 🙄

Then why did anyone suggest that she should have put the kettle on?
I would have let him carry on and plied him with tea & biscuits in order to question him about the other work they have asked him to do.
I'd have made the workman a cup of tea too
I can't help,thinking this could all have been avoided if you had just made the workman a cup of tea

M

Ghjklf · 30/07/2017 19:51

Snickers. 🤦🏻‍♀️ I am not sure if you are deliberately pretending not to not understand what I've said but I'll explain it again and hopefully you will be able to follow what I'm saying.
Several posters including myself said they would have offered coffee/tea to the workman if they had see him at work in the garden. They wouldn't have asked him to leave and therefore he wouldn't have refused to leave. The offer of a brew would only have been made in the first instance if there had been friendly dialogue.
You are suggesting that posters would have asked him to leave and then, after he refused, would have then offered him a brew. 😳 That suggestion is clearly ridiculous. NO ONE suggested giving a cup of tea or coffee to the man once he had shown himself to be a knob and refused to leave the garden.

Obviously, the posters who suggested this only suggested it BEFORE the OP gave the information about the neighbour tearing down the wall and the fence being erected by the violent neighbour.

Anyway I hope you can understand this now as I'm not sure how I can make it any clearer. 🤷🏻‍♀️

SerfTerf · 30/07/2017 19:54

Several posters including myself said they would have offered coffee/tea to the workman if they had see him at work in the garden. They wouldn't_ have asked him to leave and therefore he wouldn't have refused to leave.

Do you have the same policy for all intruders?

Burglars? Squatters? Sex offenders? Rioters?

Bluntness100 · 30/07/2017 19:56

I don't think you can put a bloke painting the neighbours fence on your side on their instruction as burglars, sex offenders, rioters and squatters. What a silly thing to post. Proper drama llama stuff.

SerfTerf · 30/07/2017 20:10

Someone's either an intruder or they're not.

Ghjklf · 30/07/2017 20:15

SerfTerf. I've no idea what you are on about 😂 What's offering a guy working on a fence in the garden got to do intruders. What a peculiar comment.

Pigflewpast · 30/07/2017 20:19

OP any update?

TheweewitchRoz · 30/07/2017 20:33

But he was an intruder as he hadn't got the owners permission to be there (in this case the Op) & he also refused to leave when she asked him too.

He's only a workman if he was there doing work on the Op's behalf - otherwise he was definitely an intruder. I'm amazed anyone would think otherwise Confused