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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed there's a random man in my garden painting the fence at 7am!

350 replies

GetOutOfMYGarden · 29/07/2017 07:41

I'm a 25 year old woman living alone with two dogs in a terraced house. All houses in the row have an individual garden both in the back and front. I rent, most other people in the row own their house.

Next door has recently decided to renovate their back garden, including installing an (ugly) garage in there, building higher fences and a built in kennel for their three dogs. Wasn't bothered about any of this. To be honest I don't particularly like them that much so I don't mind not seeing them Grin

I came home from an overnight shift today at 7am. Parked behind my back gate as usual and found a random man on a stepladder in my garden painting the fence with Cuprinol! My other neighbour had let my dogs out in the garden at 6:30am for me as she always does when I'm on nights (lovely 89 year old lady who's recently been widowed, I pop in with dinner about twice a week for her and generally check she's okay since she's too depressed to cook for herself atm, her family can't be around every day and so she insists on doing this to 'repay' me) so they were milling around in there happily sniffing at his ladder (lucky I don't rely on them being guard dogs, isn't it!). Oddly enough, they haven't attempted this with the neighbour on the other side of them who has a massive Boerboel in the garden. Neighbours knew I was out for a night shift since they made a bit of conversation when I was leaving last night in my uniform and my car wasn't there. I'm usually back at about 9am but my shifts has ended early

Confronted him and asked who he was, he said the neighbours doing the garden renovations had said I'd given him permission to come into my garden and paint that side of the party fence. Pointed out that I clearly haven't as the gate was double locked and the dogs were out! Tells me 'sorry I thought you'd forgot so I hopped the fence, oh well love let me finish and I'll get out, you'll have to speak to [male neighbour]'. I told him certainly not and to get the fuck out of my garden now before I called the police. Told him that misled by my neighbour or not, I'm telling him right then and there that he had no permission to be in there.

Once he was out of the garden and I'd locked my gate properly again, I went round to knock on the neighbours' front door and ask what the fuck they're playing at. No answer, although they were definitely in, I could hear CBeebies blasted through the wall to my living room for their DS and their cars were all in their usual parking spots. I went upstairs for a wee (bursting at this point Blush) and through the bathroom window I could hear the male neighbour, female neighbour and the painter in his garden bitching about me, calling me a rude bitch! I shouted down mid wee that no, I wasn't, and asked if it was okay for me to come in his bloody garden without permission! No answer to that one.

Neighbours won't answer the door to speak about it and I'm tired after a night shift and I don't feel I can go to sleep until this is sorted lest this cheeky man hop my fence again Sad To be honest if they'd asked and had it done on a day I was in, I'd have given them permission!

OP posts:
Ghjklf · 29/07/2017 22:50

Calm down Juicy. Wink
I'm not a bloke and I definitely don't read the Daily Mail. 😱😱😱 I'm just giving an alternative viewpoint. I'm guessing from your angry post that you are more likely to deal with things by getting stroppy whereas I find keeping calm and thinking ahead often works out better.

I'd hate to live next to someone who has proved themselves to be violent and who now has a reason to be angry with me.

Lostinaseaofbubbles · 29/07/2017 22:53

Maybe I've made some wild assumptions.

The OP said that CFN had taken LL to small claims to claim for half the fence. From this I assumed that either he's a complete moron or that the fence on that side is on the deeds as LL responsibility. (Or that, helpfully the deeds don't state responsibility)

If the boundary is LL responsibility then the only possible reason I can think of why LL would not then claim criminal damage for the removal of the previous fence is if nothing has been removed (maybe a wire fence or string - being responsible for a boundary is just that - you don't actually have to have a fence. It just has to be clearly marked out.)

Although if the previous boundary demarcation is still there then I again fail to see how he can hope to have any joy at small claims for installing a fence within his own property because he so chose.

These are all wild assumptions though...

LeakyLittleBoat · 29/07/2017 22:56

Bloody hell. That escalated fast! I hope you're OK, OP. Please keep your phone handy to call the cops if this man comes back, he sounds completely fucking batshit. His poor wife.

Ghjklf · 29/07/2017 22:59

Leinlondon

I'm saying what I would have done. I think the end result would have been worth it for my peace of mind. I agree that the neighbour was completely out of order and that the workman should have left the instant the OP told him too but the OP hasn't achieved anything by behaving how she did even though she was in the right and they were in the wrong. The neighbour is still an arse and now he's an arse with a grudge against her 🤷🏻‍♀️

User02 · 29/07/2017 23:02

The problem is actually entitled types of neighbours who think they know it all and who actually think that their wishes over rides everyone else. There are many of these types around.

There was one who entered upon an elderly relative's garden not knowing that there were other younger people in the house. The younger people grabbed the odl person's walking sticks and nearly beat the living daylights out the ignorant neighbour. He was recognised at the last minute. Lucky for him. Would you want anyone creeping about in your garden or an elderly person's garden. Elderly person was 96!
The problem is communication. It is all this dont talk to people do not acknowledge neighbours do not discuss plans for gardens and fences. I dont know what the problem is all the people here speak English so why not communicate?

JuicyNectarine · 29/07/2017 23:08

Really weird insisting that the reason the OP has a violent arsehole of a neighbour is because she didn't hot foot to the kitchen to make the argumentative trespassing workie a wee brew whilst he breaks into her property. Anything else is stroppy. Did I get the terminology right boss?

The alternative viewpoint to that would be that victim blaming is foolish and the OP has a violent arsehole of a neighbour because he is a violent arsehole.

Keep your passive aggressive "calm down" wink shit for the fail's comments section.

Grilledaubergines · 29/07/2017 23:11

God OP, you were really rude to the guy. No need. You don't shoot the messenger.

Assuming you regularly maintain your fences, he saved you a job.

Ghjklf · 29/07/2017 23:22

Juicy.

Of course it isn't the OPs fault her neighbour is aggressive. I didn't say that. I just said she could have avoided his nastiness being pointed in her direction by not being confrontational herself.

SnickersWasAHorse · 29/07/2017 23:24

Assuming you regularly maintain your fences, he saved you a job

So it would be ok to let myself into my neighbours house to do his washing up then? It saves him a job.

Patriciathestripper1 · 29/07/2017 23:29

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FrankieStein · 29/07/2017 23:33

Wow there's some judgemental people on tonight.
The guy jut hopped the fence into her garden. Regardless of reasons, that just isn't on.
She has her dogs in said garden.
He's also entered other people's gardens without permission (other neighbour).

In what world can you just intrude into someone else's property and do whatever you like?
The fence painting isn't the issue. It's the intrusion.

SnickersWasAHorse · 29/07/2017 23:34

Just being nice? Doesn't sound like he is the kind to do that.

timeisnotaline · 29/07/2017 23:37

Who are these people who think cfn would have been reasonable if the op had only not sworn at the painter? There is nothing reasonable about cfn!! He's threatened to block their cars in with neighbour having an ill dd who might need hospital , he's thrown something through a window and driven off in a rage. I wouldn't assume any amount of rolling over would make him reasonable! Poor wife and child.

SerfTerf · 29/07/2017 23:40

YANBU at all.

I can't believe some of these responses! Because obvious when someone breaks into your garden and makes permanent changes without your permission, that's something most people welcome? ConfusedHmm

JuicyNectarine · 29/07/2017 23:42

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HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 29/07/2017 23:45

Hope the CCTV caught all the madness. Completely fucking deranged.

LeakyLittleBoat · 29/07/2017 23:47

It's NOT OP's fence ffs. Jesus, can't you people read? She's a tenant and her LL is in a civil court dispute about the damned fence that the CFN put up without her LL's agreement and is now trying to force LL to pay half for. OP cannot authorize work on the property without the LL's permission. And even if the OP owned the property she has a bloody right to decide if she wants the fence painted or not painted and she certainly has a right to decide who comes onto her property and when.

Doesitgoto11 · 29/07/2017 23:55

OP certainly has the right to tell people to fuck right off when they refuse to leave HER home/garden when they have hopped the fence and have NO permission to be there. I'd have ripped him a new one as well to be honest. What if the substance he was using was harmful to the dogs (yes I know that's a stretch but still a possibility) or like she said herself what if the dogs had caused him a mischief and he sued, she'd have occupiers liability issues DESPITE the fact he was there without her consent.

In other news I had to google what a boerbol was and I think I've fallen in love with the muttley face

HaudYerWheeshtBawbag · 29/07/2017 23:57

Apparently cause my husband found it laughable that a neighbour wanted to paint there fence and get verbal abuse doing so it means all "wimin" should listen and adhere to him Hmm, however as a man in his own right in the same way as a "wimin" he is aloud to find something ridiculous, without being single minded and sexist, as apparently females are aloud opinions and females are not Hmm

Haven't read the whole thread, so it may have changed since my last posting.

SerfTerf · 29/07/2017 23:59

Say what @HaudYerWheeshtBawbag ?

Huffletuff · 30/07/2017 00:01

That word salad needs some sense dressing @Bawbag.

OP - your neighbour is a dick. If anyone came in my garden while my dogs were loose I'd have gone ballistic too. He's shown his true colours.

Patriciathestripper1 · 30/07/2017 00:16

juicy was just agreeing with the painter.
Ok so perhaps not a rude bitch (op's own words) but yes I think she was deffinatly rude. So you can stop clutching your pearls.
He wasn't robbing the place just painting the back of her neighbours fence. Get some perspective.

i think it was an overreaction tbh.

Patriciathestripper1 · 30/07/2017 00:19

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StaplesCorner · 30/07/2017 00:29

Patricia do you think the real over-reaction was the man who got upset when the neighbour threw a paintbrush through his window? I mean, what's his problem, he was getting a free paint job on the fence too.

GetOutOfMYGarden · 30/07/2017 00:31

Has OP said they're not both CFN's fences? His deeds could say he responsible for both sides

He owns the one on Boerbel owners side (erected his side of a dividing stone wall). He ripped the stone wall down between mine and his and replaced it with a fence.

OP posts: