DD has changed her name, AIBU to feel rejected

[fabyoulouse]

DD has never liked her name so it shouldn't come as a surprise really. She used to get really upset whenever someone pronounced it incorrectly, which happens a lot, and people don't always pay any attention when she corrects them.

She also claims it makes her "stand out" and she just wants to "blend in". So she is off to sixth form college in September and thinks now is a good time. She has her father's support so they have filled in a form online and she's paid for it herself.

I can't help but feel rejected. Perhaps because I chose her name and so she's always aimed any anger about it towards me.

I empathise with you and your daughter. My mum named me something from a European country, utterly pretentious, IMO, given our solid northern UK roots. I had the piss taken out of me relentlessly at school and I really think parents should consider this when choosing their charming exotic names.i could never have a fucking pen from the supermarket with my name on, such a simple but annoying thing!

People hear my name then mispronounce it, they read it and mispronounce it, drives me nuts. They mix it up with a similar name. I now love my name, despite the pretentiousness stupidity of it.

I know my dm would be devastated if I had changed it and I understand the difficulty of choosing a name that you like and no-one else has used, but spare a thought for your dd. She won't have done this lightly.

It got so when the judge came out with some weird sound we knew she had won something. [Atenco]

Before I had caller ID I used to hang up on callers who asked for a garbled version of my name. It was a great way of sorting people out.

I ask if they have someone there who speaks English.

I usually vary my name when filling forms.
Mrs Mike UniformMike
Ms M U Mike
Mr Mike U Mike
Professor Mikey Pikebotham
that sort of thing

I'm thinking completely out of the box here... I'm wondering if actually helping her to pay/paying for her name change, no matter how you personally feel, will entirely reduce any hostility or antagonism between you and her. I know from experience myself that by doing this, she will will come to see your point of view when she has children herself and hers are of a similar age. By paying for it, she'll think for the time being that you are supporting her name change.
It seems that her father is in agreement and supporting her; I'm wondering if you're separated from her father and he's enjoying being them against you and even using it as leverage against you. You're currently the 'bad guy' in all of this.

Let her change her name with no more fuss. It will deflate both your daughter and husband. Then life will settle back to normal, (hopefully).

for her name change may settle any antagonism towards her