To give up work and become a SAHM?

[YouAreMySunshine9]

This is more of a 'what would you do' but I suppose I am posting here for trafficking Have name changed as the figures I give will out me.

First DC is due soonish and I'm thinking, after maternity leave, that I should give up my job because financially, it's not worth it and I want to SAH with DC as it'll have more benefits to it?

Myself and DH are both low earners. I earn just under £20K, he earns £21K.

We aren't entitled to anything with us both working, but, somehow top ups would make us better off if one of us didn't work?

I'm quite a poorly person, I have an autoimmunity disease so I have a feeling working just to pay childcare (if it even ends up covering that?) and missing out in DC's first for it will send me into despair.

My concern is... The whole career break thing. I would go back to work when DC is a few/3 years old but I'm not sure how it'd impact my job prospects. I work as a Medical Secretary in the NHS.

I would say work part time, but I'm not sure we'd get any help there either and it's a lot of huge effort just to fork out to pay for childcare.

What would you do?

I'm really worried

I'd not give up work to live on benefits, they are supposed to be a last resort not a choice because you fancy not working as it's too much effort just to pay bills.

You won't miss out on firsts just like your DH won't. He won't have the choice to quit work will he to do the same?

It's also not that simple to return to the workplace after a bulk of time out.

I'd find a way of making it work with you both remaining in employment, even if it meant working round each other, you both applying for flexible working etc. You don't know what the future holds and to give up a steady job to live on benefits is madness.

Rainbows Its not living off of benefits entirely though, is it?

Flexible working isn't possible in DH's job. Childcare is incredibly expensive and my salary would just cover childcare. I would have to eat into DH's money for travel

I can't see how that's sensible either...

You will be able to get 30 hours free childcare. It is unethical to choose to live off benefits when you are able to work.

I think giving up work and your partners earnings support your family is one thing, giving up work to live off benefits, so the state can pay to support your family, as a lifestyle choice is something else entirely. I couldn't do it, I would not have much respect for those that do, but it is your choice.

I decided I would be a SAHM before DS was born. After 6 months mat leave I was absolutely desperate to go back to work. I went back 3 days and my wage only covers childcare with a small amount left over but I'm soooo much happier than I was at home all week.

What I'm saying is, don't bother planning now as you don't know how you'll feel after DC arrives.

Housewife 30 hours free childcare doesn't get given to those with children under 2 though, does it?

I just think it's wrong that someone who gets benefit top ups with one partner working, is better off than a couple working on no benefits at all

If it's just for three years or so then I would definitely advise being a sahm. Once you are migrated to UC won't be able to afford to buy that will be between 2020-2022.
Time at home with little ones is precious and you have a health condition.

AndNow Oh goodness yes, it would only be for 3 years maximum. My childcare would be significantly reduced after that because of school hours etc.

It's just not looking good at all - I'm quite an ill person so working just to pay childcare doesn't seem right.

You can't afford to be a sahm though can you? You'd rely on the state? I'd look at going part time and child care vouchers via your trust if you haven't already.

You can't be that poorly if you are well enough to carry a baby.

Why don't you ask for a career break for a year? Or do they still do the 5 year ones in the NHS?

You may hate being a sahm. Deciding the misery of working and childcare and missing out on being a sahm will send you into an abyss of depression should probably have been considered before you chose to have a baby

You think it would just be a few years but you may find you can't get back into work again and your options are even more limited than now. Your dc will not suffer from you working. I personally would NEVER give up my financial independence or future security for my DH or even my child. On the contrary I'd be actually sticking at it for my DH and child in the long run. You are too close to the breadline I think to take this massive risk. I think you will find yourselves struggling 5 yrs down the line with less benefits and less job prospects. Compared to possibly promotion and security in those 5 yrs.

Your health is a different matter, if you are too ill to work that is different.

I just think it's wrong that someone who gets benefit top ups with one partner working, is better off than a couple working on no benefits at all

If you think it's wrong then there's your answer, surely?

Every single thing KarmaNoMore said.

X 100

Karma.

I understand what Karma has said but it's not a case of simply not 'being that much better off'

I'd be dipping into DH's salary just to cover my travel as all my salary will have to go on childcare

Are you basing your childcare costs on using a nursery or a childminder? (childminder's are cheaper)

Have you taking into account, the saving you get by using childcare vouchers? (there are calculators for this)

Can you use your child benefit to subsidise your travel costs?

Is compressed hours an option? e.g 5 days of hours in 4 days which means 5 days of wages but 4 days of childcare costs?

I'd do it . You can make it work for a few years. I would have done anything to have the first 3 years with mine. Even if I had to live on less money . It's only 3 years out of your whole working life.

I would do it too. I have had over a decade and a half at home and don't regret it at all. I treasure every moment. It was stressful enough without juggling work too

Compressed hours aren't an option.

Yes, this is taking into account childcare vouchers.

So the child benefit, meant for my child, should now go on travel? And just to add, no, if doesn't cover the cost of travel.

I work in London and have to travel over an hour into work. It's expensive as well as timely - I have tried finding a placement in the local area but no such luck really, and this pregnancy is getting harder to conceal during interviews

I'd be dipping into DH's salary just to cover my travel as all my salary will have to go on childcare....

And how much "dipping in to your husband's salary" will you be doing if you don't work at all?

Have you asked him how he feels about being financially responsible for everything on his own?

I'm quite an ill person so working just to pay childcare doesn't seem right.

That makes no sense.

You are working now so clearly are not too ill to work?

I also have an autoimmune disease, and I will say that being at home is no walk in the park. Kids demand a lot of energy, there's broken sleep to contend with, a lot of rushing around, and constant noise--these can and will cause autoimmune flares. I say this as a SAHM of six years, by the way, and am extremely happy with my decision, but the physicality is draining.

Waiting until baby is here. I go to work part time to teach a class full of 30 teenagers for a break.

You need to think about your long term career and your pension.

Write That's different... Dipping into his salary to spend money on physically being able to work in the first place doesn't make much sense.

I would literally be working to pay childcare and it won't cover travel. So ultimately working so DC can go to childcare

Might be worth adding that I am very young so getting back into work place may be easier than if I was in mid/late twenties or more