To give up work and become a SAHM?

[YouAreMySunshine9]

This is more of a 'what would you do' but I suppose I am posting here for trafficking Have name changed as the figures I give will out me.

First DC is due soonish and I'm thinking, after maternity leave, that I should give up my job because financially, it's not worth it and I want to SAH with DC as it'll have more benefits to it?

Myself and DH are both low earners. I earn just under £20K, he earns £21K.

We aren't entitled to anything with us both working, but, somehow top ups would make us better off if one of us didn't work?

I'm quite a poorly person, I have an autoimmunity disease so I have a feeling working just to pay childcare (if it even ends up covering that?) and missing out in DC's first for it will send me into despair.

My concern is... The whole career break thing. I would go back to work when DC is a few/3 years old but I'm not sure how it'd impact my job prospects. I work as a Medical Secretary in the NHS.

I would say work part time, but I'm not sure we'd get any help there either and it's a lot of huge effort just to fork out to pay for childcare.

What would you do?

I'm really worried

haven't read all the tbread but on that kind of income, you would get significant help with the childcare element of the tax credits if you had a child in nursery full time. so you would take money home. not a full wage but quite a bit. and once DC turns 3 you will get 30 hours free childcare - it is just bridging the gap between 1st and 3rd birthday.

depends where you live but 20k is not a lot for a family to live on... I certainly would not give up work in these circumstances

So you want to give up work and rely on benefits paid for by the tax of those who do work? At what point do you become an adult being self sufficient and responsible for your own family? It was your choice to have two children, so you should be responsible for paying for them.

Of course a parent who works full time will miss out on more things in their child's life than a SAHP. They can't possibly be there for their dc as much as a SAHP is. I have no vested interest either way but I think it's quite telling that plenty of people here are making out that OP should work because she is physically capable of it. And that if she doesn't she is leeching off her husband. What happened to the Mumsnet mantra of family money is family money?

If the government is willing to pay you more for staying at home then you get from working then why not? it's the government at fault (if you think this is a fault, i don't) not the individual so I would take advantage of it too. What other people do isn't relevant to your situation. In your situation it appears to make financial sense for you to stay at home and enjoy the early years with your child rather than it costing you money to go to work in your current job. Its 2 or 3 years out. Not a big deal in the grand scheme of a lifetime. If she's in a job that is not a career and experience doesn't really make a difference to any progression then she is not really losing out. Not everybody is in a career that they love and they can't bear to be away from. For some people it's just a job.

Are you sure about that ginger? Because although I can't find the entitlement tables now, I was under the impression the income limit for childcare tax credits for one child was under 40k. Ie, on 41k combined you'd get nothing. I may be wrong.

You can get a max of £122 per week for childcare tax credits with one child, but your income has to be low enough. Can anyone confirm the figure? It's about 24 or 24k for child tax credits alone, with one child, but obviously the childcare tax credits figure is much higher.

I think the OP has already made her decision so isn't open to alternative views.

I think it's short term to assess financial status currently. Wages might just cover child care but years worked now may lead to wage increases/promotions/opportunities in future.

I think it's also short sighted to think that it's easy to enter the workplace after a career break. Look at the number of threads on here of people who struggle to find a decent job after some time out. It's difficult, and unless things change, it's going to become even more difficult to find a job with decent conditions and regular hours.

I don't agree with the "I wish I''d spent less time with my children" adage. My DCs are in their 20s with careers and totally independent. I've got a job that's a joy to do. If I'd taken an extended time out as a SAHM I have absolutely no doubt I wouldn't be where I am now. Too many of my talented friends are working zero hour contracts in crap jobs because they can't get back into their professions.

Make the right decision for you, but think of the long term consequences.

What really gets my goat, is the very people who encourage folks to stop work and claim benefits instead, spending tax payers money so they can stay at home, are the very same ones who will complain about lack of funding for the NHS or schools. Yeah, how about we all work and don't claim benefits simply because we can and have that money go to more worthy causes instead. Like schools and hospitals.

Because for me, every single person who decides to quit and take more benefits out of the state, then needs to realise that every single penny they get is a penny less from a school, police or hospital or something else that needs. It.

We really need a better system so people cannot abuse the system in this manner.

People seem a bit confused about the amount of benefits OP would get if she quits work. They'd get child benefit whatever, possibly some childcare tax credits and/or other childcare schemes if she were working, and a handful of child tax credits/UC if she stops. We are not talking massive contributions or massive handouts either way.

Exactly Blunt, the sooner they are scrapped the better. It should never have got to the stage where it is a choice to claim because people are too lazy to work.

It doesn't have to be massive. If every one who claimed an extra hundred, two hundred, three hundred quid a month stopped, and worked because they were able, then the amount of books, teachers. Police officers, nurses, hospital equipment that would pay for would be staggering.

There really is something wrong with our society where for some this is seen as fully justifiable, to take state hand outs and chose to stay home.

"Today 10:50 PugOnToast

You can't be that poorly if you are well enough to carry a baby. "
What a spectaculars ignorant comment , I must let the dwp know my enhanced pip award is wrong, oh and tell my consultant my tumour and autoimmune conditions actually don't mean I am " poorly" as I have dc.

You really think it works like that with a Tory government?? Cuts to public services are right wing ideology.

In your case I would do it. It would cost your family much needed money for you to work. If you want to look after your DC this makes even less sense. You do not yet have a career so a couple of years can't damage a career. If you are in your early 20s you can start a career after having a couple of years with your DC. Don't listen to the spite on here. Working parents get it on here too. People are not as judgemental in real life. Everybody has to work out what is best for their own family.

Ignore all the posters saying it's lazy for claiming benefits - there wouldn't BE benefits in this situation unless it was recognised within the welfare system that's it's absurd to have low paid couples paying over 50% of their take home income on childcare and travel to work. In your specific circumstances I think you should wait and see how you find parenting your specific child with your individual health difficulties before resigning from full-time work. If possible I think it's well worth doing some part time work or work from home to keep you employable though. Good luck with your pregnancy.

Cuts to public services are right wing ideology

This isn't about right or left. The basic fact of this discussion, what this thread is about, is abuse of the benefit system is rife in our society. That money these people take from the state could be spent else where much better. Instead it's being used because people have kids they can't afford and decide life would be much better to stay home and take more.

I'm all for a benefits system. But it shOuld be used to support those who cannot work or who cannot get work Not those who have a job and chose not to work.

The thing is as someone with a long term health condition myself it makes much more sense for me to be at work

1. my toddler runs me ragged. His energy is utterly boundless. I'm way more tired on my non working days from running round after him than I am on a working day.

2. as mentioned upthread, because I have regular childcare in place, if I do need to call in sick I can actually rest

3. because I work for the public sector my sickness pay and pension is excellent. The value of such things cannot be underestimated IMO.

However I only work 3 days a week and mostly from home so I recognise I might think differently if I were 5 days with a long commute, but I found when I worked 4 days, 9-4 with an hour's commute either way was also fine.

Claiming benefits that the government has said that you are entitled to is not abusing the system.

And now
Were you pregnant with a tumour and autoimmune disease? Astonishing. I would have thought your oncology consultant would have advised against that. Given the lowering of immune response in pregnancy and proliferation of cancer cells.

If she is bleating on how unwell she is, how she can't cope with secretarial work, how poorly she is, I would have thought that pregnancy and raising children was a spectacularly stupid idea unless her DH is going to be a sahd.

Oh and I say that as someone who has CFS, chronic anaemia and a disabled child. I would never have another child given how exhausted I feel. Children aren't a right. What if she has one with SN? The relentless fatigue and 14 yrs of broken nights would floor the healthiest and fittest.

It isn't an ignorant statement. It is a realistic one. Get over yourself and stop being so entitled.

kk?

I think that to decide to leave work to live on benefits is selfish unless there is a very good reason and even then the aim should be to get back to work asap.

I do understand where you're coming from. With my first I worked full time and although we had quite a bit of money leftover from nursery fees, the lifestyle of working full time and having kids is relentless. I know that because I did it for nearly five years. But you haven't tried? I think you need to give it a go and try to find a balance that works for you.

I've actually recently just left my job with no job to go to after my second mat leave. This is because mat leave I was horrifically bullied by my manager who also discrimated against me during pregnancy. Others have raised grievances against her but got nowhere and I decided I couldn't return. I was having panic attacks and counselling about the thought of it all. I resigned with no job to go to knowing we may need the help of benefits for a while. It was not a decision I took lightly. Being concerned about not being able to easily get back into the workplace I've found myself another job with a better work life balance. I start next month and thanks to savings won't need to claim benefits. For us it really was a last resort but was a relief to know it was there at a difficult time had we needed it, as a fall back.

You do have options. You could get a part time job opposite hours to your husband. It may not be in your field but you won't need a childminder and you won't need to claim benefits. Why not set yourself up as a freelancer? There's plenty you can do to make money.

It doesn't have to be massive. If every one who claimed an extra hundred, two hundred, three hundred quid a month stopped, and worked because they were able, then the amount of books, teachers. Police officers, nurses, hospital equipment that would pay for would be staggering.

It has to be something, though, in order for you to have a point.

OP simply hasn't given us enough information to ascertain whether she'd cost the public purse more money or not. You're assuming. She says they'd get more with her off, but doesn't clarify whether she's aware of the various childcare subsidies and how much they'd get there.

I'm not just talking about childcare tax credits, as I'm not sure whether they'd get them, but there's also the voucher scheme and the tax free childcare scheme. It's a very realistic possibility that they'd be taking more from state coffers utilising some of these than the few pounds a month they'd get in child tax credits with OP as a SAHM and DH earning 22k. This is before we even consider housing, which we've no info about either.

So this is my point: before berating someone for claiming extra due to not working, find out for sure if they actually are. Personally if I were OP I'd try and investigate local PT work, and I stand by that even if it costs the state more, but let's think critically about the assumptions underlying this discussion.

I would suspect that being a SAHM when your husband earns 40k + and you can spend your days doing baby music lessons or whatever is a whole different kettle of fish to doing it on 21k with a benefits top up at the mercy of government policy, trying to find free things to do day in day out when it's raining and you cant go to the park for the millionth time that week and there is a waiting list for all the free playgroups in the area.

Yes Pug, I was pregnant, benign tumour thankfully but causes severe pain and other complications due to its location.

Claiming benefits that the government has said that you are entitled to is not abusing the system

And that's why the system needs to change. So people can't just decide to stop working and take more because it benefits them personally.

It has to be something, though, in order for you to have a point

She said it in her op. We aren't entitled to anything with us both working, but, somehow top ups would make us better off if one of us didn't work

A family on 20 k get more than a family on 40.

I am unsure as to why you think I am entitled op? Entitled to what exactly, benefits don't claim any.
Children nope , they are a blessing not an entitlement.

Read my post bluntness. OP hasn't clarified whether she's counted the various childcare assistance schemes or not. At least one of them, the voucher scheme, doesn't involve you 'getting' anything but rather paying some childcare out of pre tax income. It's still money from state coffers though. And if you claim the maximum, more than the amount of child tax credits they'd get for one child on 22k.

I thought I had already posted...
Agree with a PP...
I don't understand these women who say "all my wages go on childcare".
You don't pay for childcare because YOU work.
You pay for childcare because you BOTH work!
DH and I shared the cost.

I doubt that you will get much in benefits if you leave a job.
Also check your maternity pay, as if you are paid over SMP and leave during maternity leave you might have to pay back the difference.

Part time working may be an option. Half salary will be much more than half take home pay. And while they are small, full days are good option as nursery hours are long and they are open almost all the time. (And school hours short. And ridiculous amounts of holidays...)

If you leave, it will be harder to return as you will be competing against those who never left.

Good luck whatever you decide!