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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be put off him by his exs and kids?

155 replies

Tinasally24 · 27/07/2017 12:16

I met a guy thought he was nice,had a few dates and he asked me to become official.
Here is the thing,he has 2 kids with two different women,1 he never sees because she won't let him and he hasn't been to court (the boy is 8) ..why isn't he fighting for him? Then he said the bitch has just started taking maintenance off me now..(so has he not paid in 8 years?)
All these thoughts in my head,what has he done that has stopped his ex not letting him know his own son.
He told me he used to be wild and through Facebook I seen he has had about 8 gfs in a few years.
He admitted he cheated on his eldest Childs mother and he is forever changing jobs after a few months.
So is he flakey?
The thing is when we are together he is great,he showers me with attention,makes me feel good.
We get on like a house on fire.
The other day he asked if I wanted children etc
Should I let that put me off?

OP posts:
KinkyAfro · 27/07/2017 12:17

This is a joke right?

ThymeLordIsSpartacus · 27/07/2017 12:17

I would run far away from any man who doesn't see his own children, and who refers to his ex as a bitch whilst complaining about supporting his child.

Seriously, there are other men out there. Throw this one back in.

MorrisZapp · 27/07/2017 12:18

Nah he sounds lush. You should have some kids with him, I can't see anything that could possibly go wrong.

supersop60 · 27/07/2017 12:18

Run.

Underthemoonlight · 27/07/2017 12:18

Run your op is enough for you to know he's a waste of space.

Needsomeflapjacks · 27/07/2017 12:18

Yeah hang around. .
You too can be an ex with a dc if you play your cards right and listen to his well rehersed patter. . .
Run my mn friend. .
Run.

HipsterHunter · 27/07/2017 12:19

Ah, the crazy ex won't let him see his kids. Yup.... that old chestnut.

GeillisTheWitch · 27/07/2017 12:19

Then he said the bitch has just started taking maintenance off me now

Oh, he sounds like a prize Hmm.

Run, fast, and fgs do not have any children to this dickhead who can't be bothered to provide for the ones he has already.

Lanaa · 27/07/2017 12:19

The fact you've posted this means you know he's a wrong un. Run for the hills.

Original poster
Tinasally24 · 27/07/2017 12:19

I just found it hard to believe that the man who I've spent time with is like this (does that make sense)
I keep thinking maybe the ex treated him like rubbish and she is trying to hurt him not letting him see his son.
I've started to have feelings but I'm worried if he drops me so fast and I get hurt.

OP posts:
stitchglitched · 27/07/2017 12:20

I would run a mile. I'd also be insulted that he thinks you are the type of person who wouldn't be put off by him calling his ex a bitch, and not seeing or paying for his kids.

parrotseatemall · 27/07/2017 12:21

RUN FOR THE HILLS. This is textbook stuff. Detach now, block and delete.

Lanaa · 27/07/2017 12:21

Even if his ex was a prize bitch (and I can tell you from bitter experience they rarely are) is doesn't justify the fact he thinks it's ok not to pay for his children and he hasn't bothered to fight to see them.

Original poster
Tinasally24 · 27/07/2017 12:21

His eldest child he has every weekend and buys him all sorts,takes him out every weekend.
So I don't know why he doesn't fight for the young one.
He said years ago he had anger management classes,could this be why he can't see youngest ?
But wouldn't that of affected oldest son too?
Or not?

OP posts:
NC4now · 27/07/2017 12:21

Trust your gut on this one, I say.

missiondecision · 27/07/2017 12:21

He is a charmer. All the girls friends tell you that.
Doesn't mean he is potentially a good catch.

ThymeLordIsSpartacus · 27/07/2017 12:22

Christ OP, set the bar higher than this. He sounds like a prize turd. He doesn't see his kids, he doesn't pay maintenance, he refers to the mother of his child/ren as a bitch, he's a cheat. Are you actually serious?

PinkHeart5911 · 27/07/2017 12:22

I could never have a relationship with a man that didn't see his own child to me that speaks volumes about the type of person they are

NC4now · 27/07/2017 12:22

Oh dear. Just read your update. Yes, I would definitely let all that put you off OP.

Original poster
Tinasally24 · 27/07/2017 12:22

I always assumed most fathers are entitled to access?
Isn't legal aid available?
I don't know the ins and outs but I don't know why he isn't allowed access.

OP posts:
stitchglitched · 27/07/2017 12:22

Anger issues too? FGS just dump him already.

Wolfiefan · 27/07/2017 12:23

She's a bitch but he's the cheat?
He hasn't paid for or seen this poor kid in 8 years?
He can't hold down a job?
Dump and get down the clinic for testing.

gamerchick · 27/07/2017 12:23

Good grief lass, raise the bar a bit Confused

PinkHeart5911 · 27/07/2017 12:23

Honestly love forget this one, aim a bit higher

Original poster
Tinasally24 · 27/07/2017 12:23

When we are together I forget it all but now I'm sat and I've got that feeling.
My mum says that the way he has been this last 2 months is more than likely a facade and that might not be him..

OP posts:
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