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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be put off him by his exs and kids?

155 replies

Tinasally24 · 27/07/2017 12:16

I met a guy thought he was nice,had a few dates and he asked me to become official.
Here is the thing,he has 2 kids with two different women,1 he never sees because she won't let him and he hasn't been to court (the boy is 8) ..why isn't he fighting for him? Then he said the bitch has just started taking maintenance off me now..(so has he not paid in 8 years?)
All these thoughts in my head,what has he done that has stopped his ex not letting him know his own son.
He told me he used to be wild and through Facebook I seen he has had about 8 gfs in a few years.
He admitted he cheated on his eldest Childs mother and he is forever changing jobs after a few months.
So is he flakey?
The thing is when we are together he is great,he showers me with attention,makes me feel good.
We get on like a house on fire.
The other day he asked if I wanted children etc
Should I let that put me off?

OP posts:
viques · 27/07/2017 12:49

has he also told you that he is now infertile ( snip,mumps,unexplained virus)?

Original poster
Tinasally24 · 27/07/2017 12:49

All the exs he has had just proves he can attract the women ..

OP posts:
LaArdilla · 27/07/2017 12:49

Sounds like the sort of man I'd cross the road to avoid getting too close to in case being a shitty scumbag deadbeat father who calls the women in his life 'bitches' was catching.

After ending it, consider speaking to a counsellor to analyse why you have such shockingly low standards.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 27/07/2017 12:49

Run girl, run away!!!

Monny1 · 27/07/2017 12:50

In this case, Mother knows best! Run like the wind!!

Shockers · 27/07/2017 12:51

It's relatively easy to be charming for two months, with a person you aren't living with.

I want you to picture your life in five years time...

Original poster
Tinasally24 · 27/07/2017 12:51

Then with me I get the "morning beautiful" and checking in that I'm okay,holding my hand all the time,smiling so much when he is with me.
Telling me he knows he has found a keeper and never feels this strong about anyone after a few months.

OP posts:
Walkingtowork · 27/07/2017 12:52

You did the right thing cancelling tonight, now's the time to be brave and see through his BS

ThymeLordIsSpartacus · 27/07/2017 12:52

All the exs he has had just proves he can attract the women ..

and? Let him go and attract another one then. Life is really short. Don't be the person who wastes theirs on a rotter like this.

guinnessgirl · 27/07/2017 12:52

RUN AWAY.

TheFaerieQueene · 27/07/2017 12:52

You have almost the full house in loser bingo OP.

Buck3t · 27/07/2017 12:52

Know your self worth.

I wish women made the right decisions consistently, I know they cannot, because fuzzy feelings like love get in the way.

Any man that doesn't see his child, is not a man worth your time. Move on.

Original poster
Tinasally24 · 27/07/2017 12:53

I seem to always attract these guys!
I did meet him on tinder tho,what did I expect prince harry.

OP posts:
KarmaNoMore · 27/07/2017 12:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

misshelena · 27/07/2017 12:53

He was, is, and always will be a LOSER.
If he didn't change for his flesh and blood, he isn't going to change for you OP. He is with you because he is hoping that YOU will pay his child support and then he'll get to see his son. Plus live rent free at yours. I bet his sister is getting ready to kick him out.

wejammin · 27/07/2017 12:54

What would you tell your best friend, or your daughter, or if you read this post on mn what would you advise?

(for the record, the correct answer is fuck. that. shit.)

Original poster
Tinasally24 · 27/07/2017 12:55

In my head I was thinking if he could go through life without his son then when he gets bored with me,he won't struggle to ditch me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tinasally24 · 27/07/2017 12:56

Well I was looking at Facebook and scrolled far back in 2014 one of his gfs was writing on a status about what he needed to do for access and how she was helping him and clearly he didn't want it ...

OP posts:
KarmaNoMore · 27/07/2017 12:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 27/07/2017 13:00

Run honey, you're a keeper, he isn't. And you are worth much more than a flakey bloke who won't take any responsibility for his child. Flowers

orangewasp · 27/07/2017 13:02

Red flags all over the place.

He won't change - listen to your mum and get out while you can. I guarantee he'll have found a replacement for you in no time at all.

DJBaggySmalls · 27/07/2017 13:03

Tinasally24 Please do yourself a favour, go to Amazon or ebay and buy Gavin de Beckers book The Gift of Fear. It's about £3 delivered second hand.
It will show you how to spot these types before they get you hooked.

gillybeanz · 27/07/2017 13:04

I'm sorry but if you need to ask, it sounds like you are well suited.
go ahead, he seems like every womans idea of the perfect man Confused

Anecdoche · 27/07/2017 13:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VeganCow · 27/07/2017 13:07

Even psycopaths and sociopaths have a 'nice' side!