3year old standing at the window nearly everyday. What should I do?

[mumistheword14]

So for the past year my auntie's neighbour's child has been standing at the window nearly everyday looking sad. He looks like he hadn't had a bath in awhile and just stands there no matter the weather. There's a park 1min walk from the House and no one bothers to take him. Me and my 3year dd waved few times but he doesn't wave back or even smile.

I'm thinking about calling SS or to knock at the door saying something but I don't know how that will go. He looks so sad and neglected it's been a whole year maybe more that he's been left to stand there.

[llangennith]

If you're worried call SS. Better to make a mistake than let a child suffer because you were afraid of being thought a busybody.

[CauliflowerSqueeze]

Do you actually feel you have to stop your child looking out the window Hudson ? Really?

Some children live in terrible situations and pre-schoolers are particularly vulnerable because they can be more easily isolated. I'm sure everyone on this thread has happy well-adjusted kids but can't you put that to one side for a minute and imagine that there is a possibility the OP may be witnessing something that is not quite right?

[CrochetBelle]

.

[JetBoyJetGirl]

Hudson and if the OP calls the NSPCC she will be able to talk her concerns through with someone. And they will advise her on what to do.

Or maybe she'll phone SS and nothing will be done about it because they don't consider it to be important.

But maybe there have been a few other phone calls about this family and there's already a picture building.

[CherryChasingDotMuncher]

My DD often stands at our window looking filthy (I don't know how she does it, I put her to bed clean but she seems to wake up with wild hair and crap smeared all over her face) but she is obsessed with knocking and waving at people, she does it every day, I hope no one ever assumes she's neglected

[elephantoverthehill]

OP if it is worrying you report it. No shame will come if it is perfectly innocent. Unless we as bystanders and professionals don't join up the dots the tragedies will keep happening. You are uncomfortable, so say something.

[Hudson10]

Do you actually feel you have to stop your child looking out the window Hudson ? Really?

If someone had reported me for letting my toddler ds stand at the window watching the cars go by, yes I would have more than likely stopped him looking out the window. As thinking there are people out there reporting you for neglect when you've done nothing of the sort and are a loving parent could cause anxiety and wondering whether they're going to come at you for something else completely trivial too.

[CauliflowerSqueeze]

Well even if they did Cherry it would soon be cleared up, wouldn't it.

Meanwhile there are abused and neglected kids all over the country hoping beyond hope that someone notices something. Or just not knowing any better.

[bakewelltarty]

There has been a radio advert on LBC for a while now that promotes the reporting of concerns about child abuse and seems to target the 'It might be nothing' fear that a lot of us would have.

I think it's called 'together with can tackle child abuse' and it's really made me think.

In this case op I would definitely call SS and explain exactly what you have here. It may be nothing but it may be everything. Trust your instincts.

[CherryChasingDotMuncher]

I'm a bit at this "better safe than sorry" "doesn't hurt to check just in case" attitude...based on a child gazing out a window...if we all took that attitude why not just report all the children we've ever met, just in case. Imagine being a perfectly good parent and having SS turn up on your door to accuse you of neglect. Of course there's harm done!

[elephantoverthehill]

Hudson as I posted previously, it's about joining up the dots. A child looking out of a window will not get SS into a panic, but it might be a piece of the puzzle if other agencies have been involved.

[Hudson10]

Well even if they did Cherry it would soon be cleared up, wouldn't it.

Fuck the fact that a clearly loving parent gets a visit or a phone call from SS. Can you not see that that can cause untold anxiety?
Or does that not matter?
If OP had a valid reason to phone SS, fair enough. She's a random passer by who doesn't even live there and is thinking about reporting on the basis that a child is looking out of the window and never goes to the park (how the latter is even known, I have no idea.)

[Seeingadistance]

BeautifulWintersMorning Mon

I remember there was a neglect case in the news where the child had been seen always looking out of the window like this. Trust your instincts that something isn't right and report it.

You might be thinking of the wee boy from Rutherglen who was neglected and ultimately murdered by his mother and her partner. Neighbours saw him, were concerned, but no one reported it.

OP - you obviously feel something isn't right here. Report it, and ignore those who're not taking you seriously here. If everything's ok - no harm done. But you might be able to help this child and even save his life.

[JetBoyJetGirl]

If someone had reported me for letting my toddler ds stand at the window watching the cars go by, yes I would have more than likely stopped him looking out the window. As thinking there are people out there reporting you for neglect when you've done nothing of the sort and are a loving parent could cause anxiety and wondering whether they're going to come at you for something else completely trivial too.

Well then, that is your issue and your personal fear is not a good enough reason for someone else to turn a blind eye to something that has concerned them.

[Hudson10]

Imagine being a perfectly good parent and having SS turn up on your door to accuse you of neglect. Of course there's harm done!

Glad to see this, and that others see this aspect. It is damaging.

[Hudson10]

Well then, that is your issue and your personal fear is not a good enough reason for someone else to turn a blind eye to something that has concerned them.

WTAF are they reporting for though?
"I see a child at the window every day, and he never goes to the park."
How do you know he never goes to the park as a random passer by?

[JetBoyJetGirl]

Imagine being a perfectly good parent and having SS turn up on your door to accuse you of neglect. Of course there's harm done!

What harm is done?

You have a conversation with the SW, they see the child and that there is no harm done. You walk away thinking someone was a bit over zealous but actually pleased that the system works, put the kettle on and make your child's tea.

[JetBoyJetGirl]

Hudson because she wouldn't phone them and say, "there's this kid near me who's being neglected. I know this because I see him at the window every day staring out and he never goes to the park.

And they wouldn't reply, "yea gads, that's outrageous" and swoop in and remove him.

She'd call and talk about what she saw and why she felt concerned. And they would take notes and then check the system to see if the child is known to them.

[JetBoyJetGirl]

Op, if you feel that strongly about the benign events you have witnessed then go back and get some proper evidence before reporting to ss.

It's not the OP's responsiblity to "get some proper evidence".

[user1482443190]

Hudson10 - that is exactly what happened to me a few years back. My Dd was having the mother of all meltdowns (diagnosed ASD), no noise apart from her as I tried to calm her - God knows who called SS. All dealt with quite quickly (less than 4 hours) once they made their enquiries. But I cannot trust anyone around me any longer, it's had a detrimental effect on my small family unit, we rarely make the effort to meet up with people now than a very, very few trusted friends.

[LanaDReye]

Calling the SS to report regularly seeing a child in a neglected state (clothing-wise) and looking miserable at a window would be a fair call. As others have said you are simply stating what you can factually see and it may be part of a wider issue.

[CherryChasingDotMuncher]

Sorry but I'm the kind of person where it would greatly upset me if a SW accused me of neglect. That they'd be asking questions and making judgements on my parenting. I can't imagine how someone with anxiety might feel.

But fuck the parent's feelings yeah, let's report everyone for the non-issues for the sake of it?

[MommaGee]

CherryChasingDotMuncher there's obviously more of a sense in the flesh that something isn't right. Is be devastated by a SS knock on the door but I'd prefer that and people being sensibly vigilant than the kid next door dying at the hands of a parent because everyone looked the other way and said it doesn't affect me

[RhiWrites]

I think people have unfortunately through scare mongering (some of it on this site) to fear social services. I fortunately don't because my father worked in this field. I did however hear (in a child appropriate way) stories of neglect.

I understand that some posters are afraid of the idea of a social services visit to find out more about their happy window looking child.

But I think you should also be afraid of mocking the OP out of reporting a sad uncared for window watching child.

for Jet who is trying to explain that a neglected child isn't always obvious in the way you might think.