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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU

312 replies

MissingWinter · 22/07/2017 22:07

I went to visit my friend round at hers on Thursday, we were sat together at her laptop, she went onto a particular site and started looking at some shoes and other clothing, once she had finished I took over and went to the men's section. Me DP and DS are due to go on holiday and I have been wanting to buy DP a few nice pairs of swim shorts. I see a nice pair which I liked and I was pretty sure that he would like (they were delivered today and he likes them)

As I clicked on them I said "Oh these are nice aren't they?" she just rolled her eyes, then she had a sudden outburst and said "You really make me sick why would you spend so fking much on a pair of swim shorts for him and no they're not nice I feel as if you are taking the p out of me, you want to spend that amount on s** but I don't see you giving money to people that need it"

I stayed silent because at that point I had to back track to make sure that is what she really said, and that I wasn't hearing things, before I could answer back she that she needs to go out and that I need to leave, but we were suppose to be spending the whole day together, and I had to travel pretty far to her house.

She always makes snide comments and I just ignore her, as I don't like confrontation, I haven't heard from her since and I have been wanting to call her today to apologise as she said that it felt as if I was taking the p* out of her.

Now I am thinking why should I call her and apologise? and why shouldn't I be able to spend what I like on him? Do you think I'm the one being unreasonable here?

OP posts:

Original poster

MissingWinter · 22/07/2017 23:40

peachgreen to stop argument sake I did not brag or even mention the price I never mention the price of anything unless asked even then, it makes me feel a tad bit uncomfortable I have been raised not to speak about money.

In regards to your comments about the shorts, you are all entitled to have your own opinions. The main thing is that we both like them.

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 22/07/2017 23:42

I don't see her regularly because we live far apart, I always invite her round but she never wants to come

This OP just keeps on giving!!

Original poster

MissingWinter · 22/07/2017 23:42

JaniceBattersby I will say this again I do not have a new born or a child that is at nursery age, I can openly say I don't blame you all because the trolls are ruining it for genuine posters, I could post anything on here and still be accused of being a troll.

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 22/07/2017 23:43

The main thing is that we both like them

Will you be wearing them too then?

user1495025590 · 22/07/2017 23:44

You sound young OP.I think you have no idea how to deal with people appropriately.You need to know what you did was crass.It turns people off

Giraffey1 · 22/07/2017 23:45

Woe! Talk about conspicuous consumption! You really have no concept of how most people would view you spending so much on a pair of hideous swim shorts. Of course, its you money that you have presumably worked hard for / saved up for / inherited / been given, but do you not see how provocative spending that amount in front of your friend would br? It doesn't seem to be a very kind thing to do. Couldn't you have waited until you got home?

Original poster

MissingWinter · 22/07/2017 23:49

Giraffey1 once again I did not buy them in front of her. I will definitely take on board what you've said.

OP posts:

Alltheusernamesalreadyinuse · 22/07/2017 23:54

£450?????? ..... were they lined with gold???? ( I am sooo naive! I didn't even know they made shorts that expensive!!!!)

DotForShort · 22/07/2017 23:55

zeeboo · 22/07/2017 23:56

I'm with your friend. Someone being tactless about their ability to buy lots of clothes would be hard to hear all the time but to find out my friend was willing to waste a life changing amount of money, money that could feed everyone on the food banks list for a week, money that could enable a local old people's day care to employ an entertainer or dance teacher, that could put a child through years of musical instrument tuition or summer school for acting. A months rent in some places; on a pair of fucking ugly shorts?? That I could not stay quiet over and like your friend I would say something about your decision to waste money in that way and commandeering my laptop to browse for them?

I am blown away that you can't see why she reacted as she did. This isn't about you spending £50 on something that costs £10 everywhere else. This is about mindless and needless spending.
I couldn't grit my teeth and keep watching that friendship as they got older.

arethereanyleftatall · 22/07/2017 23:58

You said you wanted a few pairs. For the next pair, why not get them from Tesco and wander along to a hostel for domestic abuse (or similar) and give the 'saved' £440 to them?

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs · 23/07/2017 00:07

I almost choked when I read there were actually swimming shorts which cost that amount of money!! Then again when I saw them!! There are people crazy enough to pay those prices??? I see where the friend is coming from. We're comfortable for money, but I just can't fathom people who spend ridiculous money on designer shit. I'd be looking at you somewhat differently too. There are a lot of things you could do with that money. It just seems horribly wasteful.

user1492877024 · 23/07/2017 00:13

£450 for a pair of shorts. Jeez, that's ridiculous.

timeisnotaline · 23/07/2017 00:17

Op, your friend was rude. It doesn't sound like she's broke but she's probably jealous. If I were you I would try and avoid mentioning money / costs of things in front of most people because to nearly everyone that is an obscene amount of money for swim shorts, and people will judge you for the sheer unnecessariness of it. If you openly talk about it/ display it like you did with your friend by bringing it up with price , most people will judge you for being crass. If I spent half that on swim shorts for my dh, I don't think I'd let anyone know because I know it's pretty ridiculous by most people's standards.

FlandersRocks · 23/07/2017 00:18

In answer to the price of the swimshorts I do not particularly see the purchase as a large sum of money

Good grief. Your earnings/wealth isn't even important...you're presumably a grown up who knows what the average wage is, and is able to grasp that £450 could cover some people's mortgage or rent for a month for instance.

To not see it as a 'large sum of money' suggests to me that your head is so far up your own arse that you're probably tactless as hell when speaking to others about money and the cost of things.

FlandersRocks · 23/07/2017 00:23

I'm also gobsmacked that someone would spend that on swim shorts.

Don't get me wrong...I appreciate nice clothes. I understand spending £450 on a beautiful dress made from luxury materials or an excellent quality winter coat or a very well-cut suit.

But swim shorts? Probably made from the same material as the Tesco equivalent...for schepping round a pool or beach? I don't get it at all.

Gemini69 · 23/07/2017 00:24

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

WatchingFromTheWings · 23/07/2017 00:26

£450???? That's a months pay for me!

and they're fugly

FeralBeryl · 23/07/2017 00:26

At first I was thinking YANBU, I have a few friends and clients that wouldn't blink twice at this.
However for most of us, it's a holiday / rent / car deposit.
People are using food banks around us, struggling to clothe kids, worrying about next months mortgage.
Your attitude towards money ( albeit on here ) is breathtakingly tactless to the majority.

An activity like browsing online with a friend suddenly turned into you segregating her into the poor relation status.
I would imagine you sub consciously do this quite a bit maybe.
I'm now seeing you like the King from Coming to America (watching it now) sweeping in and flinging money around without realising how alien it is to the masses.
Add in the fact that yes, of course she may be a little envious - will result in the snide comments. If you aren't going to 'share the wealth' - which is entirely your right, then please don't flaunt it!
Buy her some flowers and apologise for being tactless if you value her friendship.

user1498240695 · 23/07/2017 00:30

The shorts are going to be fucked once they hit the chlorine but nay matter, they are available in I have just purchased them while my bones her are arse mate was scouring the sales on another tab . Insensitive, you? Nah

ThePants999 · 23/07/2017 00:31

I would recommend you spend money on some additional sense until you have more of the latter than the former.

Gemini69 · 23/07/2017 00:34

I think the OP is talking bollocks.. this is merely an exercise in bragging about really hideous shorts.... and how much money she was conned out of buying them..

she is fishing ..

diodati · 23/07/2017 00:38

In what world is spending £450 on a pair of shorts rational behaviour? If you hadn't mentioned the price, I'd say your "friend" is BU. But now I think you're both insane and probably deserve each other.

peonie83 · 23/07/2017 00:43

Pandoraslastchance · 23/07/2017 00:48

Fucling hell between this thread the one with the hair extensions I'm baffled at how people can have upwards of £400 to spend on absolute shite!?!

Those shorts are hideous. Primark or Tescos do nice ones which don't cost the same as my monthly rent.

Fuck me sideways

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