Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU

312 replies

MissingWinter · 22/07/2017 22:07

I went to visit my friend round at hers on Thursday, we were sat together at her laptop, she went onto a particular site and started looking at some shoes and other clothing, once she had finished I took over and went to the men's section. Me DP and DS are due to go on holiday and I have been wanting to buy DP a few nice pairs of swim shorts. I see a nice pair which I liked and I was pretty sure that he would like (they were delivered today and he likes them)

As I clicked on them I said "Oh these are nice aren't they?" she just rolled her eyes, then she had a sudden outburst and said "You really make me sick why would you spend so fking much on a pair of swim shorts for him and no they're not nice I feel as if you are taking the p out of me, you want to spend that amount on s** but I don't see you giving money to people that need it"

I stayed silent because at that point I had to back track to make sure that is what she really said, and that I wasn't hearing things, before I could answer back she that she needs to go out and that I need to leave, but we were suppose to be spending the whole day together, and I had to travel pretty far to her house.

She always makes snide comments and I just ignore her, as I don't like confrontation, I haven't heard from her since and I have been wanting to call her today to apologise as she said that it felt as if I was taking the p* out of her.

Now I am thinking why should I call her and apologise? and why shouldn't I be able to spend what I like on him? Do you think I'm the one being unreasonable here?

OP posts:
lougle · 23/07/2017 00:50

That is one ugly pair of shorts! She should have been thanking you for taking them out of circulation Grin

CatThiefKeith · 23/07/2017 00:59

OP did you know that for less than the price of 11 pairs of shorts you can fund a well in Africa for over 1000 people to have clean drinking water and not watch their children dying of water bourn diseases?

link

If your friend is struggling it was insensitive at best.

HarrietSchulenberg · 23/07/2017 01:19

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat · 23/07/2017 01:41

OP, while I think £450 is a mental amount of money to spend on swimmers, I believe that it's your money and you have the right to spend it on what you want. Your friend was rude and nasty and I wouldn't be apologising in a hurry.

No one on this thread knows if the OP also gives to charity.

Oh, and OP, you will always be lambasted on mumsnet for daring to have expendable cash for yourself, buying clothes for your husband or not being on the bones of your arse while making a chicken last for a week for a family of four.

Patriciathestripper1 · 23/07/2017 01:51

450 for a pair of shorts?? Fucking ridiculous

Patriciathestripper1 · 23/07/2017 01:52

Envy not at all envious Grin

DonkeyOil · 23/07/2017 01:52

Is your dp a Premiership footballer, op? I can't imagine having the kind of money which allows you to think nothing of paying £450 for some swimming shorts. It's another world, isn't it?

Procrastination4 · 23/07/2017 02:14

Well, regardless of how much the swim shorts were, surely the friend was being unreasonable in the way she acted? How is it acceptable to invite someone to your house and then proceed to throw them out because you lose your temper over something which doesn't actually affect you at all? Besides, it would seem that the friend was looking at the same site, as the OP says she "went over to the men's section", so that would seem to suggest that the friend had possibly been planning on spending quite a large sum of money herself, in the first place. I have to admit, though, that at first I thought the £450 was a typo with a decimal point missing! But, just because I don't have that type of disposable income doesn't mean that others don't.

IamAporcupine · 23/07/2017 02:21

DonkeyOil I doubt that is the case - if OP was a footballer's wife she would definitely know that £450 in a pair of shorts is a lot of money.
She said she did not see it as an expensive purchase and that she was brought up not to talk about money, which makes me think she has been that wealthy all her life.

londonrach · 23/07/2017 02:23

£450..are they made of gold. No seriously your money you spend as
You want. She needs to apologise

ShmooBooMoo · 23/07/2017 02:35

I echo Pandoraslastchance ... They actually look quite Primark-y, and are probably made in a similar sweatshop where people earn buttons.
In your friend's shoes, I'd have inwardly gasped at your spending such an obscene amount of money on a pair of shorts, but I'd've probably kept my mouth shut, after all it's your money and up to you how you spend it. Then I'd probably have had a giggle to myself because it would have brought this to mind:

MrsTerryPratchett · 23/07/2017 02:36

In answer to the price of the swimshorts I do not particularly see the purchase as a large sum of money, I understand that it may be to other people.

Then you need to mix with other people more. Because I could spend 450 quid on swim shorts but I still know that's a lot of money. I know a few millionaires (one of whom owns a jet) and they would call that a lot for a pair of shorts. Because it clearly is.

Meowstro · 23/07/2017 02:59

OP, it is your money to spend (I assume, or your DH is happy you spend it on things like this) and it sounds like your friend is jealous you have that kind of money to spare when she's working and possibly not seeing spare money for extravagant purchases. You don't owe it to anyone to give them money, that is your perogative.

However, if she is struggling (forgive me if you've covered this, I haven't RTFT), I feel as though you looking at those swim shorts could have waited until you got home or you didn't have to show her them as she would have seen the price and £450 is a lot of money in anyone's world - you don't keep money by spending it on frivolous things and the people I know that are very well off would be the first to say that. It would come across as insensitive to your friend, whether she has told you about her finances or not.

If her comments have affected you and you are affecting her regularly then maybe it is time you cut ties, clearly the friendship isn't working for either of you.

MinorRSole · 23/07/2017 03:55

This thread is bizarre

I recently purchased swimwear for my family of 6 for about £50 at Asda. I guess I could have spent more (not £450 because that's madness) but I chose cheap but nice stuff cos it's just swimwear Confused

I have never used a friends laptop, I can't imagine a situation where that would happen. Why travel ages to see someone to faff about online.

All in all the whole thing sounds weird to me

MinorRSole · 23/07/2017 03:58

Just to add I'm afraid I do think those swim shorts are quite hideous, if I bought those for my dh (regardless of price) he would think I was having a laugh like that time I bought him a mankini which backfired when he wore it

FoxesSitOnBoxes · 23/07/2017 04:12

I think you need to consider why your friend said that she doesn't see you giving money to those who need it. Yes the shorts are vulgar but that alone is unlikely to have upset her. Are you mean in other ways? Has there been a situation recently where you could have chosen to use your money to help someone and chose not to? I don't think the shorts are the real issue

emmyrose2000 · 23/07/2017 04:17

Gucci must be laughing all the way to the bank that they can find gullible mugs who'll pay any price for their cheap looking rubbish. Ditto most of the other stuff on their site.

BadLad · 23/07/2017 04:29

Spending money like water on hideous clothes for hubby to look ridiculous in? Are you Victoria Beckham?

But it's your money and your business. If you ever post about having anything nice on here, someone will berate you for not giving all your cash to charity instead of buying it.

justkeeponsmiling · 23/07/2017 04:57

Fuck me! That price is insane, I was sure thus was a typo at first!
I agree with PP, I could not remain friends with somebody who thought it was OK to spend such an obscene amount of money on one pair of shorts.

On a sidenote - I doubt the OP has been brought up with money - she sounds very much like new money trying to work out how to come across as "posh". I know a few extremely rich people, all of which would have found spending like this in front of other, less well of friends beyond vulgar and who would never have felt the need to point out they had been "brought up not to talk about money" - they simply would not talk about money!

gingergenius · 23/07/2017 07:14

It's your money OP. It's a ridiculous amount for a pair of swim shorts but nobody has the right to tell you how to spend your money. She handled it badly. Presumably she knows your financial situation so your spending capacity shouldn't have been a surprise?

Original poster
MissingWinter · 23/07/2017 08:00

CatThiefKeith I do give money to charity in fact I am a sucker for those charity street fundraisers every time I am approached I do sign up.

HarrietSchulenberg I am not quiet sure why you think I buy things to show off, I never buy clothing for myself or DS which has the brand printed all over the item, no one is going to know which brand the shorts are unless they are into that brand themselves.

DonkeyOil No DP isn't a premier league footballer player Confused

Meowstro Yes it is my money, I like to buy DS and DP nice things, the same way that DP surprises me with nice things when it comes to those two there is really no limit on now much I will spend.

FoxesSitOnBoxes I am not a mean person at all and I've never been mean to her, I am always there to support her and help her out when need be.

justkeeponsmiling I am not quiet sure why you've made that assumption what you've said doesn't sound nice at all, I would never ever say what you've said to someone without even knowing them - since I was born, finances have never been an issue and why would you say that I am trying to figure out ways to be "posh" 😂😂😂😂please look up the meaning when you have time as what you've said doesn't make any sense, to be honest you've made yourself look rather silly, since my child started school I have gained some friends who financial situation is pretty much the same as mine, and you think my spending is ridiculous you should witness what they buy, yes I was raised not to speak about me and I wouldn't have mentioned the price if people here didn't ask me, reading over what you commented, you sound very green, those who aren't green don't make assumptions or doubt people they've never met and can not hold in their feelings or emotions.

I texted her just after 7 o'clock this morning only to get "what do you want?" as a reply

OP posts:
sonjadog · 23/07/2017 08:05

To be fair, if anyone texted me at 7am on a Sunday, I'd think "What do you want?"

It's your money to do what you want with. How much you want to spend on clothing is no-one's business but your own. But maybe your friend is having a moment if envy, so I'd back off for a while and give her space.

Original poster
MissingWinter · 23/07/2017 08:21

The time is really not an issue seen as we've spoken plenty of times on the phone before 7am.

OP posts:
peachgreen · 23/07/2017 08:37

I can't believe you think it's okay because you didn't 'mention' the price. She was sat right there, she could see it!

Crass, tacky and absolutely wasteful.

justkeeponsmiling · 23/07/2017 08:44

This is hilarious. The thread that keeps on giving for sure Grin

Swipe left for the next trending thread