AIBU

[MissingWinter]

I went to visit my friend round at hers on Thursday, we were sat together at her laptop, she went onto a particular site and started looking at some shoes and other clothing, once she had finished I took over and went to the men's section. Me DP and DS are due to go on holiday and I have been wanting to buy DP a few nice pairs of swim shorts. I see a nice pair which I liked and I was pretty sure that he would like (they were delivered today and he likes them)

As I clicked on them I said "Oh these are nice aren't they?" she just rolled her eyes, then she had a sudden outburst and said "You really make me sick why would you spend so fking much on a pair of swim shorts for him and no they're not nice I feel as if you are taking the p out of me, you want to spend that amount on s** but I don't see you giving money to people that need it"

I stayed silent because at that point I had to back track to make sure that is what she really said, and that I wasn't hearing things, before I could answer back she that she needs to go out and that I need to leave, but we were suppose to be spending the whole day together, and I had to travel pretty far to her house.

She always makes snide comments and I just ignore her, as I don't like confrontation, I haven't heard from her since and I have been wanting to call her today to apologise as she said that it felt as if I was taking the p* out of her.

Now I am thinking why should I call her and apologise? and why shouldn't I be able to spend what I like on him? Do you think I'm the one being unreasonable here?

So she was browsing the same website before you took over? That suggests she was considering similarly proliced items herself?

Maybe she is struggling for money & felt you were rubbing her nose in it by spending what really is an outrageous amount on swim shorts! Do you do that a lot in front of her?

Priced, not 'proliced'!

Meh. That's a lot on shorts and would mean the world to us and might feel like you were showing off a bit. BUT she handled it horrendously and your money is to spend as you please.
It's hard to know as we don't know either of you, you might be the type who's constantly showing off about money etc and it might be the straw that broke the camels back. If it happened the way you say though then she's BU.

I wouldn't look at those shorts and think they cost £450, they're quite tacky and loud

Money can't buy taste

Just text your friend and say I really didn't mean to offend you, hope you're ok.

Least if your friendship ends there you're not on bad terms

PatriciaHolm well you are definitely mixing me up with another user, I am pass 20 and I'm not pregnant.

I see other people get ripped to pieces on here, I never thought I'd be that person.

LexieLulu thanks I will drop her a text tomorrow.

The only reasons that I would be pissed off at a friend buying £450 shorts would be a) she owes me money b) she couldn't afford it. I have a friend who has form for being skint and borrowing money for bills but then buys her husband t-shirts that cost £150 a pop. Passes me off. If she had the money and owed no one anything then good on her.

Main thing for you is your husband likes them. Money is devisive and you will get torn apart on here for spending too much, other than that lexielou what you said.

I don't know you from Adam, so this is simply a question - do you show off/boast a lot? Because that would explain the outburst.

Ill be honest, I've never been round a friends house, and started shopping on their laptop. That's strange to me, but maybe not to others.

Eggandchipsfortea93 well a lot of people browse online just to past time and for inspiration on what they want to buy next, she does have some very nice things.

I think £450 is a lot of money to spend on a pair of shorts.( that's more than we are spending on our summer holiday) However, it's your money and you can spend it on your own family if you wish. It's no-one else's business.
It sounds like your friend may be struggling, so it's possible she thought you were being insensitive.

arethereanyleftatall I do not show off or boast I wasn't bought up like that, I was trying to find a way to post this without mentioning the price of the shorts and I didn't want to upload the picture but being called a liar will never sit right with me.

I am the kind of person that's constantly looking online, not to buy things as such I think it's out of boredom.

It's the height of bad manners to thrust excessive expenditure in other people's faces, knowing that might be their mortgage payment or something .

£450? Fuck me, are they made with gold thread?
But YANBU, she sounds like a jealous person

Well I am going to text her tomorrow and hopefully we can sort things out. I didn't feel as if I was doing any wrong, but now I've had some input from people here I will make sure that nothing like this happens again, I am not out to make anyone feel uncomfortable.

It's the height of bad manners to thrust excessive expenditure in other people's faces, knowing that might be their mortgage payment or something .

The way she spoke to you and threw you out after a long journey was out of order, and you are justified in being upset by her behaviour.

However, it was insensitive to buy those shorts in front of her if you knew that she could never afford them.

Send that text, but also ask if her if she's ok, and that her behaviour shocked and upset you as this kind of thing has never come between you before.

Maybe she is having money troubles.

Good luck.

If this is real, I'm with your friend (ex-friend)

I'm would struggle to maintain a friendship with someone who could contemplate spending £450 on a pair of shorts. It's not about the money, it's more about the value people out on things.

My feelings would be exacerbated if the act of buying said items, was conducted in front of me. It would be game over I'm afraid.

£450 on shorts is quite frankly obscene. but tis your life...

Is she jealous?

If she's broke then it was incredibly tactless to shop for £450 swim shorts in front of her. Incredibly.