AIBU

[MissingWinter]

I went to visit my friend round at hers on Thursday, we were sat together at her laptop, she went onto a particular site and started looking at some shoes and other clothing, once she had finished I took over and went to the men's section. Me DP and DS are due to go on holiday and I have been wanting to buy DP a few nice pairs of swim shorts. I see a nice pair which I liked and I was pretty sure that he would like (they were delivered today and he likes them)

As I clicked on them I said "Oh these are nice aren't they?" she just rolled her eyes, then she had a sudden outburst and said "You really make me sick why would you spend so fking much on a pair of swim shorts for him and no they're not nice I feel as if you are taking the p out of me, you want to spend that amount on s** but I don't see you giving money to people that need it"

I stayed silent because at that point I had to back track to make sure that is what she really said, and that I wasn't hearing things, before I could answer back she that she needs to go out and that I need to leave, but we were suppose to be spending the whole day together, and I had to travel pretty far to her house.

She always makes snide comments and I just ignore her, as I don't like confrontation, I haven't heard from her since and I have been wanting to call her today to apologise as she said that it felt as if I was taking the p* out of her.

Now I am thinking why should I call her and apologise? and why shouldn't I be able to spend what I like on him? Do you think I'm the one being unreasonable here?

TYPO I said the shorts 'were to my taste' when I meant to say the 'were NOT to my taste'

I think you need to buy the matching jacket. 'Tis only £975 😁

Hello, firstly I think the shorts are quite nice. I have a few friends who have a lot of money, both by marriage.

I would be appalled if I had seen them spend such an amount in front of me. I work hard but don't have a lot of excess at the end of the month.

They both wear designer clothes tgat I could never afford such as £600 pairs of shoes and £1k handbags. I shop at Dorothy Perkins.

They wouldn't think £450 was a lot of money but the fact is to most of us it is rent or mortgage and we will just never be able to be on the same wave length.

I love my friends and we have history (mainly being poor but still having the best times when younger) but now their nights out are verve clique champagne, trendy bars and steak dinners....whilst wearing expensive outfits and I'm afraid I just can't do that and long for them to suggest a cheap Italian and bottle of wine like the good old days.

Money changes people and most people with wealth I presume usually socialise with other rich people.

I am sure you didn't mean to be thoughtless, it seems you just saw something and bought it, probably. It expecting the fallout.

Perhaps it would be good to reflect on how difficult it can be to not be in such a position. Friendship needs to be balanced and your individual finances obviously aren't and without meaning too you have made your friend feel quite inadequate and probably a little jealous too.

(Confession I wish I had such a beautiful home as my friends, but then I look at what I do have and feel so lucky I have more than many others)

you would need to have olive/dark skin/good tan and be completely ripped to do those shorts justice.

[mumbles] quite like the shorts actually.

Wouldn't drop nearly half a grand on them, though. About twenty quid would be reasonable.

Are you Samantha Cameron upgrading the £225 swim shorts David wore last year?

warning: DC does not fulfil the criteria cambodianfoxhound specified above

Ha Princess, exactly its all about the form.

These are some seriously ugly shorts!
I understand that you were mostly unaware of how this kind of purchase may affect your friend. I see how you may live in a bubble, and not have enough empathy to understand other people's financial situations.
But it's not good enough, having friends means you put yourself in their shoes. You wouldn't brag about a honeymoon to a friend who just broke up with her boyfriend, or about your pregnancy to someone trying and failing to get pregnant, right?
That's what makes a good friend - taking your friends' situation in consideration when making comments.
As it can be seen so many times, money is only a symbol, you probably don't have much empathy in many other ways.

Though my first reaction is also that such amount of money for a swimsuit is a waste, actually it's not. It's great that there are designers making such items so that the rich can spend their money - this is the true redistribution of wealth, this way the person who manages that shopping website will take home a good salary.
Otherwise, the wealth would only sit in Swiss banks.

Just spent too long scouring ASOS for men's shorts these are nice and you can get a matching towel!

Those shorts are vile, I cannot imagine spending £4.50 on them let alone £450, I must live on a different planet to you OP.

ZOMBIE!

Damn! I didn't notice