DH's parents have a flat on the riviera and don't offer us to go

[tilda0]

DHs mother and 12 years husband own a flat on the coast of France and they rent a house in the countryside. They don't offer us to go and mil knows that we are not rolling I. money at all.
We are sometimes invited to the countryside (2h away from where we live) but only if they are there and/or if it's Christmas or some sort of celebration.

Not nice! Or aibu?

I can't believe that my DH thinks that they will be reliable to help with child (unborn yet!). They obviously have their own schedule planned and rules set.

They don't have to, but it's still mean. If I had a holiday home I'd take great pleasure in being able to offer it to my child to use.

'The cheek of them, having their own lives! Surely they know they should bow down at the altar of your child?'
What lovely posts. Depressing examples of the mentality on mn, posters shrieking 'how entitled!' etc etc

Fwiw op, I think if pils have a holiday home it isn't the most outrageous thing ever to think they could offer it to their ds for the odd trip. Honestly aibu gets more uptight every day

mummmy

Your last post, complete with grammar lesson for the op , makes you seem rather patronising. I'd go so far as to say your posts stink .

Op I do find this sort of thing odd.

We had free run of my DP home ( just the one) and I hope my older dc can come and go as they wish. If we had a holiday home unless there was a massive falling out or problems I would like to think it would be a family holiday home.

The problem here is - they wont offer or seemingly make it easy for you to be in a house, lets hope they dont feel free to treat your future dc with the different standards...

'Our is Baby due in 3 months, or you can say you are 6 months pregant'
You mean pregnant mummy surely? someone so particular should use a spell check.

DH sister owns a huge property in the South of France - only for holiday rental. She insists on us going through rental agency and then 5% off total cost. To say - we booked elsewhere.

Mummyoflittledragon oeufdepaques Decaffstilltasteweird

Mummy2017 I wasn't keen on saying how many months pregnant I am. That's why I used 'unborn'. So your examples don't help.

I think the OP is BU but the poster picking at her English has no fucking manners.

MsHarry it's a good point. Maybe they rent out secretly. Mil bought another flat she rents out already. I'd be surprised they would rent out the flat in the south of France as well, it's much logistic.
So all in all they have 4 properties at the moment. I actually forgot that she owns another flat!

I do think you may find that some Grandparents don't that bothered about helping out

Mummy could you translate this, please? I don't think your English is my English...

I think your your own worse problem...

Allow me mummy2017:
'I think you're your own worst problem.'
Hth.

Well patronising grammar lesson aside...

As I said, I think it's fine to be disappointed. Certainly if I had a holiday home I would let close friends and family go.

However I find your entitled attitude odd. If it was me not being invited I'd be posting - I'm worried I've upset in laws as never invite us to their holiday home or see us.

same dilemma. Different way of looking at it.

You seem determined to condemn them as being in the wrong.

What are the rest of the family dynamics like. DH have siblings? How are they treated? Better/same as you? Other family members allowed to go to the villa? Or no one is - maybe they're just very protective?

I think you need to stop being so annoyed and maybe look at some of the other factors

You might find it would invalidate or compromise their second home insurance (if anything happened) There are strict rules.

misit I was thinking exactly the same. Or at least there are drawers full of "equipment" that they'd rather you didn't see. Or just some smutty books.

There aren't many people I'd be happy to have staying in my bedroom in my home without me being there, for similar reasons.

Oh and OP: I think your ils sound miserable - although from the evidence on this thread there's a lot of people about who wouldn't allow their DCs the use of a holiday home, nor take an interest in ther DHCs.
Fwiw, we have a holiday home, which is let by an agent, but are looking forward to the thought of future DGCs enjoying holidays there - maybe even taking them there ourselves!

Take an interest in their DGCs that should be.

Since the GC is not yet born, I don't think we can judge them for not taking an interest.

YANBU OP. I can't think of anyone I know that wouldn't offer their holiday home to their children. I think it's mean and also very odd. We've been offered the use of holiday homes in France by friends before, and not particularly close friends either. It's inconceivable to me that my mum wouldn't offer. I do think though that if your DH is not able to even ask her about it then they are not particularly close.

This is a pretty bonkers attitude. Why should they offer you free holidays?! It's a weird thing to expect. Maybe it would be nice if they did but it's up to them surely. Same with DCs... why shouldn't they have their own lives?!

It's their home and it'll also be your child. They have no obligation to offer you holidays in their holiday home nor look after your child. They may want to see you more to see their grandchild but it isn't a given.

JenTSP do you live near Redcar? I'm not far away. I took dh to Seaton carew for a night recently. Was a good night

I think mummy2017 should get her coat

It's not a free holiday though is it, it's the use of a flat for a few days. Most people help out their children whenever they can. If I owned a property abroad I would consider it a family home and wouldnt hesitate to let my children use it. Especially if they were struggling a bit to afford a package holiday

YABU. And greedy. And entitled. Maybe that's why they've never offered.... After all, there's not much pleasure to be gained by offering something that's expected (and practically demanded), but lots (on both sides) when it's not an obligation.

It's so confused by this thread. Have I missed the bit where it's explained that 'won't lend us the holiday home' = 'unreliable for child care'?