DH's parents have a flat on the riviera and don't offer us to go

[tilda0]

DHs mother and 12 years husband own a flat on the coast of France and they rent a house in the countryside. They don't offer us to go and mil knows that we are not rolling I. money at all.
We are sometimes invited to the countryside (2h away from where we live) but only if they are there and/or if it's Christmas or some sort of celebration.

Not nice! Or aibu?

I can't believe that my DH thinks that they will be reliable to help with child (unborn yet!). They obviously have their own schedule planned and rules set.

^^

To follow on from my last post, we as a society don't give much respect to the elderly. Perhaps if the older generation showed the young the sort of respect and community spirit as summerswallow describes, things would change. For it is the older generation, in the most part, which holds more wealth so it needs to stem from them. Very interesting.

somewheresomehow sure I would share my holiday pad if I had one! I would be happy to know there is life there! Not only with family, I would encourage good friends to go there. Especially if I was older, not making cash out of the properties.
I think all the replies illustrate very well differences between people.

Parents of grown up children only exist to hand out free holidays, give cash presents and loans and to babysit. They are not allowed to have a life of their own, god forbid!

Jesus some people are arsey. It's obvious that English is not the OP's first language, so picking at little mistakes is just bloody rude.

The OP is not expecting child care. Her husband has said that he thinks his parents will look after the baby if they want to go away for a weekend. The OP thinks they can't expect that.

The OP's in-laws have sent photos of their holiday home to the OP and her DH. That's how she knows what the furniture looks like FFS! They don't want the in-laws to pay for their holiday. She meant free accommodation.

OP, I agree it is a bit weird of them to not just say "oh you can use it whenever". I cannot imagine being that selfish that I wouldn't want to share a holiday home with my kids, but some people are just like that OP. Heaven forbid you are ever "entitled" 🙄.

somewheresomehow they like us reasonably. Meaning that they like us but there is a limit to it. There are some sort of rules and politeness to respect and she -mil- set them.

Something isn't right in the way the OP is making comments, never said this before but this post stinks...
have the kid. unborn...
Are you from somewhere other than the UK, as your attitude is very odd.
Why should the mother of your DH have your child. Why should she let you use her home if she doesn't want to, let alone pay for you to go.
I think your your own worse problem...

WomblingThree thanks for translation

English isn't my first language indeed....

If you would have free childcare where you live why would you move?

There is obviously someone around you at the moment.

This is one of those situations where I would say YANBU to be pissed off OP. BUT your in-laws have every right to have (or not have) who they want staying at their holiday home.

I am the opposite. Me and DH have been offered the chance to stay at our daughter's boyfriend's dad and stepmum's holiday villa in FLORIDA, (for free!) and we feel awkward doing it and don't want to. (I mean we would like to, but won't asit doesn't feel right IYSWIM. DH is particularly funny about it as he feels he will be beholden to the couple.

mummmy2017 can you please let me know what's the correct word then? -unborn-
I am not from the UK, I apologise for my broken English. I thought it would be all right to write here even if my English isn't perfect.

Op I get why you're annoyed by it & I would be too but as others have said, you're not entitled to anything & doesn't sound likely that they'll change anytime soon. Try to just let it go if you can.

mummy2017. Perhaps you shouldn't try to correct people's English when you are getting it wrong yourself. It's you're your, not your your. A question requires a question mark, not a full stop. Shall I go on?

YANBU.

I don't understand why they wouldn't lend you their flat, we have a second home we've lent to friends & relatives. Some people use the house every year more than once. I don't mind house sitters though & have let people house sit for us when we've been away for a fortnight so they could have more space (young couple in a shared flat).

Yes I think I would feel the same but I guess there's not much you can do about it. Are there other siblings? Maybe they are worried about opening the flood gates and never getting to use it when they want to,which is the beauty of having your own place.

Interesting.

My PIL have a house in Spain and we visit (with them) every other year or so. We mooted going alone several years ago but FIL wasn't keen. Our DC were young and the house newly done so I didn't blame him.

They don't have friends to stay with them for two reasons, one is that they end up subsidising their holiday by paying for food, electric etc and often end up being an unpaid skivvy as guests are on holiday and want a lie in. Also if people stay it's their holiday so they want to splash out on fancy meals out etc. However it's everyday for PIL so they can't really afford it. And if you let one set of friends stay it's hard to say no to others...

mummmy

Eh? "This post stinks" because the op's English isn't perfect? Are you criticising her language skills or accusing her of being a troll or what? I genuinely don't know what on earth you're getting at with that post.

The op has made herself understood I think unlike mummmy. I understood exactly what she meant anyway. I've seen far worse English by native English speakers tbh.

It's not considered the done thing to correct them (native English speakers who make grammatical / spelling errors), let alone doing it to someone for whom English is their second language. I'd love to see some posters on here attempting a conversation in the op's first language before they jump down her throat.

I know how you feel fil has a caravan in Redcar and doesn't offer us it :)

image: www.yourdictionary.com/index.php/image/articles/18751.ThinkstockPhotos-cat.jpg

A pronoun is a word that replaces a noun in a sentence, making the subject a person or a thing. Possessive pronouns are pronouns that demonstrate ownerships.

Possessive Pronouns: Used in Sentences
Possessive pronouns include my, mine, our, ours, its, his, her, hers, their, theirs, your and yours - all words that demonstrate ownership.

Here are some examples of possessive pronouns used in sentences:

The kids are yours and mine.
The house is theirs and its paint is flaking.
The money was really theirs for the taking.
We shall finally have what is rightfully ours.
Their mother gets along well with yours.
What's mine is yours, my friend.
The dog is mine.
The cat is yours.
The ring is hers.
The bag is theirs.

Hope this helps.

Our is Baby due in 3 months, or you can say you are 6 months pregant.

I do think you may find that some Grandparents don't that bothered about helping out, and that apart from gifts you won't get much financial help.

Also, are you sure they don't rent it out privately or using an agent when they are not there? Letting you have it would mean they lose income.They might keep that to themselves.

mummy you are one cheeky cow, and your spelling is crap.

I was kind of joking about fil and his caravan, but thinking on it, from the day he bought it, I don't know a family member who hasn't assumed they can use it, this will be the first summer he has had it.

He says no to everyone, his adult dc included, it's his second home, he's there a lot and he knows they all have different rules for their homes and doesn't trust none of them to not let the dog on the sofa, to not smoke inside, to not take their dogs in the first place. Absolutely don't blame him either.
Fil is also there every weekend as it's only an hour or so drive away and will be staying there most of the summer. It yet his family still expects him to not use it so they get to have use of a caravan in okacevthet they'd never ever have considered booking before. In fact they'd laugh if you suggested they had a mini break there before fil got his caravan.

It's nice to be offered it, but they are not cunts for preferring not to. Same with help for baby. They are not obliged and their obligation to provide holidays for their dc stopped when he became an adult.

Mummy2017. I see. You wanted to use "your your". Bowing to your obvious superior knowledge of grammar.

mummyThe OP is not a native English speaker! Saying unborn child may not be how you'd say it but it's perfectly understandable. And you still have a mistake regarding 'your' in your post, despite the grammar lesson!

Anyway. OP I can understand why you'd be disappointed even though you are coming across as a little entitled which may have riled your mil/fil. You can only ask your DH to ask them again and maybe he should ask why if another vague answer is provided.

There is nothing with how phrased it, it's perfectly proper English.