AIBU year 4 Isle of Wight trip!

[Twistedpantsagain]

I have a son currently 8 years old and he will be 9 just before this trip takes place in the Easter term of year 4.
It's always been the tradition at this school which is odd as no local schools do a residential 5 day trip until year 6 and even then our year 6 is far more local than the year 4.
Anyway, my son doesn't want to go.
He's a quietly confident boy, has lots of friends and socialises very well but has no desire to go on a holiday that requires him to be away from us and his sisters for 5 days.
We are happy for him to not go as very child led family and have explained he will need to go into another class to do his work or I will home educate him for that week if the school cannot offer provision but I'm dreading the meeting I'll need to have with the head regarding this.
Anyone done the same?

I'm repeating myself a lot here saying none of our own worries are spoken about with our son.
7 and 8 year olds probably didn't grasp the concept of it being " optional " hence the upset.

This might out me but 🤷🏼‍♀️
I live on a Scottish island with other smaller isles around it. I live on the 'mainland' of these group of islands, and the kids go on a school trip on p6 to one of the isles (a short ferry journey - less than an hour) and then in p7 to an outdoors centre in the north of mainland Scotland (it would take an hour on a ferry and several hours drive to get there) now, my dd has been on her p6 (age10) trip and loved it, I expect her to be the same about the p7 trip.
My ds hasn't got there yet, but he'll be going soon. I'm not sure how he'll manage tbh. So yeah, I understand asking your ds's opinion, but in a positive, jolly way. Know that probably doesn't help, but I understand your fears. I'm 37 and still have moments after 11pm when I know I can't get off the island until the airport opens the next morning

And yes we have a hospital/electricity/fast wifi and helicopters to airlift us off if necessary no foxes though...

You are going to be that mother in law I can feel it in my bones!!!

Yep! I thought that too!!

Thanks. I hope you feel better mocking someone; it's generally low self esteem that causes this behaviour.

Why people feel the need to be total arses on here will never make sense to me. That amount of money over 11 weeks is a great deal of money. I'm not sure we would manage it even if my child really wanted to go.
OP do what you feel is right, its valid to ask and get others' opinions, and perhaps talking in a positive way will mean your DC wants to go. But if you don't wish him to go, don't send him. My younger 2 didn't go for a full week and they were local and I still worried about them.

And thinking about it ALL the parents that I know had wobbles about it for year 4's going away. It was not an easy decision, the ones that didn't go away for whatever reason had fun in a different class and were totally fine. My closest friend didn't send either of her daughters for year 4 for cost reasons and it was a fraction of what's being asked of the OP.

Pretty sure the OP knew the sort of robust replies she'd get in AIBU and that's why she posted in Education too.

It was the mother in law comment that I thought unnecessarily bitchy.

"It was the mother in law comment that I thought unnecessarily bitchy."

In more ways than one.

Why have so many people on this thread been so nasty? Sorry OP, you've really been jumped on. All very well for AIBU to be a bit lively with differences of opinion, but using it for random bitchiness just makes MN so boring these days.

Em Penguin - Did you read the comments made by the OP where anyone who disagreed with her was referred to as either rude and/or ignorant? Any comments were directed in direct response to her statements - nothing random at all. If you perceive something as bitchy thats your opinion, not fact.

I never called anyone ignorant so that's a lie.
And people have been extremely rude therefore I see that fits many posters to be fair.
I posted here as it gets more traffic, not because I expected an argument to come of it.
It's the same as usual though, big mouths hiding behind a screen.
I doubt these people are as rude in real life, and if they are they certainly won't be well liked people.

Did you read the comments made by the OP where anyone who disagreed with her was referred to as either rude and/or ignorant?

By referencing a post as ignorant you are clearly also referring to the poster in the same way..... Or we now taking a walk down the pedantic highway?

Now I see we have moved onto to accusing people of hiding their mouths behind a screen. Er - no, just don't happen to agree with you.

You have interpreted sarcastic or opposing comments as rude because you seem to lack the capacity to form a mental representation of other people's entirely reasonable view points. I would suggest that you were being very unreasonable by posting in AIBU to purportedly seek alternative opinions when clearly what you really wanted was for other people to endorse your own decision.

YANBU to not send your son if he really doesn't want to go. You know him better than anyone and if you don't think he'll change his mind just tell the school he isn't going.

My ds sounds very similar to yours. Likes home and his own bed and routines, will not stay over with friends, likes being with us. He has been on two residentials (Y5 and Y6, both for 3 days), one went well, one not so well (worth pointing out that in his case the teachers were very supportive of him), but he chose to go. I would never have forced him. And for the record, I'm not sure he would have made the same decision if he had to be away for 5 days in Y4.

Not all kids are the same. Some are just not as independent as others. There is nothing unusual or wrong about that. I do think it is good to encourage trips and independence but not if they have not expressed any desire at all to go. I don't think any child will be made more independent by being sent away for five days against their wishes. I don't think it is mollycoddling to listen to what your child has to say and act accordingly.

Well, we are a pretty adult led family so I would probably just hit him until he complies

JK, you odn't have to explain yourslef to the head teacher or anyone else \about why they aren't taking your child on a trip, just say "no thank you" and reassure him that they simpply CANNOT take him without your permission, no matter what anyone else thinks.

Can you show me where I called someone ignorant?