To find it annoying when people tell me I'm stunning

[Notpretty]

I am actually a very physically unattractive young woman. I'm overweight by 2 stone, I have really thin hair, vey strong,manly features. I am not, and have never ever been physically attractive.

I do not lack confidence. I am aware of my strengths and I am proud of what I have achieved, but looks I do not have.

Yet since I can remember people tell me I'm beautiful. My boss even told me she thought I was stunning. People tell me I should be a model and I'm beautiful.

But I am absolutely not. Proof of this is that I have never ever even been asked out on a date and I've been single my whole life. Men do not find me attractive and I am not physically attractive at all.

Only women and gay men tell me I am, never heterosexual men (you know the people that would actually know).

People mean to be kind but AIBU to find it a bit annoying. You know in yourself that you're not pretty, you know it's not true and people are just saying it to be kind. I'd much rather they complimented me on something that's true (like I'm eloquent or something like that).

Telling me I'm beautiful when it's plain as day that I'm not is just, insincere and annoying. aibu?

I don't agree that there is such a thing as too beautiful or attractive.
I have a gorgeous friend and I have seen men literally queue up to talk to her. When she walks in a room people stare and she is always approached.

Do you fish for these compliments or are they spontaneous? If your friends see you are insecure maybe it's to boost your self esteem. Weight is irrelevant as is pure physical appearance - It's possible to adore based on personality alone - I'm sure you are gorgeous inside and therefore also outside.

YANBU. Whether or not you are stunning in their eyes is kind of irrelevant. You don't sound like you'd ever want to be a model. Why should you? It's annoying for looks to be constantly referred to as a major factor in a woman's life.

Everytime someone says it, just say, 'thanks' and change the subject towards something that genuinely interests you, or them.

I've also read this OP before...

I'm not facially attractive (let's be honest about it), but my body is ok (for my age!) and I have a nice smile and am a generally friendly person. When people say I look nice I take it to mean that I've made an effort, hair & clothes look good.
No-one has ever called me beautiful, I'm not, and j wouldn't believe them. I am married though - looks aren't everything. I didn't have much luck with blokes when I was younger but I was asked out a few Times even with my ugly mug!

I have the opposite problem, no one has ever told me I am stunning and i am bloody gorgeous. People eh

op send me a photo and I promise I will tell you my absolute honest opinion.

I was just going to say similar Gucci . Someone who looks striking has (to me anyway) strong features and a face with character.

What colour hair do you have op and what style?

OP I know exactly what you mean. It's like people think women's self-confidence is so caught up in their looks that an ugly person can't possibly have self-esteem and so they are, very patronisingly, trying to make you feel better.

But you don't need the boost because you don't subscribe to that nonsense. You're pragmatic about your looks and you derive your identity from your personality and achievements not superficial looks.

I'm with you. YANBU.

I'm sure you're better looking than you think - but that's besides the point, and you're absolutely right to not base your worth upon your looks. I'm also not a looker, certainly not by hetero men's standards (bad haircut, mannish features, big boned) and it annoys me no end when I'm treated as though I have "low self-esteem" when it's plain for all to see. No sane human would call me pretty behind my back, so really they're just insulting my intelligence and self-awareness in saying it to my face.

Sorry, ended up waffling on about myself abit there. TL;DR - agreed. you're worth a lot more than your aesthetic value to heterosexual mem.

I agree with Potato don't let your opinion of yourself be defined by attention (or lack of) from men.

If it makes you feel uncomfortable when friends or people you meet constantly comment on your looks then say so.

A lot of people get embarrassed by appearance based comments. I find it extremely difficult to accept compliments..
"Your hair looks nice" Me: "No I think it looks awful today" "That's a nice top" "oh this old thing, I hate it" and so on.

YY to the confidence thing, it does make a difference.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder without a doubt-I understand Brad Pitt, he's not my thing though, Channing Tatum-same... Tom Hardy, Jason Statham-yes!! We're all different-you only need to browse the threads on here to see this...

I think you've posted similar in the past OP. In fact I swear I remember a pic...?

I've definitely read this post before.

I've read this exact thread before

I think it really boils down to taste.

I have been told I'm very attractive but I'm really just good with make up.

Doesn't bother me, I'll take it :)

I've got a slight sense of deja vu!!

Weird and slightly uncomfortable thread!

Gosh. Why can't you just take a compliment?

I'm average looking if that. The only people who ever tell me I'm beautiful are my dh and dc. One or two people in the past - so few that I can actually remember who. I never doubted they meant it, and I never suddenly thought I was beautiful, but it was nice that some people in the world saw beauty in me.

Had to check the date of this thread, as I thought it was a resurrected zombie!

Having said that, I'm sure there are loads of people who feel like the OP.

I'm always seeing my friends commenting on their friends' photos on FB (so people I don't know), saying they're 'stunning' (seems to be the adjective of choice), 'hot', 'beautiful', 'gorgeous', etc, when the subject is often, objectively speaking, not.

They look nice, friendly, lovely, appealing. All good, positive things. Just not stunning.

Yet people (women, let's face it) feel they have to say it. Because that's what's important to us. And it's seemingly the highest compliment you can bestow on another woman.

I would love to punch anyone who comes out with 'I've read this before'. It is so insanely annoying.

SO FRIGGIN WHAT?!!!!

Going on a date and having a nice relationship is not an automatic reward for being attractive. I would think about how to get close to a man you like, rather than wait to be asked.

OP can you attach a pic to this so we can all see?

Me too deadringer! Maybe they think I'd be offended, but really it's fine!