To find it annoying when people tell me I'm stunning

[Notpretty]

I am actually a very physically unattractive young woman. I'm overweight by 2 stone, I have really thin hair, vey strong,manly features. I am not, and have never ever been physically attractive.

I do not lack confidence. I am aware of my strengths and I am proud of what I have achieved, but looks I do not have.

Yet since I can remember people tell me I'm beautiful. My boss even told me she thought I was stunning. People tell me I should be a model and I'm beautiful.

But I am absolutely not. Proof of this is that I have never ever even been asked out on a date and I've been single my whole life. Men do not find me attractive and I am not physically attractive at all.

Only women and gay men tell me I am, never heterosexual men (you know the people that would actually know).

People mean to be kind but AIBU to find it a bit annoying. You know in yourself that you're not pretty, you know it's not true and people are just saying it to be kind. I'd much rather they complimented me on something that's true (like I'm eloquent or something like that).

Telling me I'm beautiful when it's plain as day that I'm not is just, insincere and annoying. aibu?

I don't know - because it's all very subjective anyway where looks are concerned.

I think I know what you mean... every time I see my mum she compliments me on looking thinner. I've never lost weight, I'm still a bit chubby, and I simply don't believe her or find it important!

However, we really need to see a photo of you to know if YABU!!

I don't think YABU as it's how you feel.

That being said (and I really don't want to annoy you) - people don't generally tell others they are stunning if they're not. If it had happened just once or twice you could think "they don't mean it" but if it happens this frequently then there must be something about you that really is stunning. You may not see it, but it will be there.

Ever considered that it's your personality, hon? Nice humblebrag.

But maybe men don't ask you out because you are stunning and think they don't "stand a chance"?

Apparently that's an actual thing.

I don't know if YABU tbh but I do feel the same when people tell me "you don't need to lose weight, you're fine as you are!"

No I'm not. My belly is large and I have major muffin tops/overhang - I do NOT workout and I eat too much so it's no surprise I actually DO need to lose weight!!

(Sorry OP didn't mean to make it about me)

I think people are well meaning and can maybe tell you're self conscious about it?either that or you really are stunning/striking and just don't know it (and you intimidate the hetro-men with your looks)

I can send a pic via PM but not putting one on here.

I'm genuinely rather ugly though. Not fishing for compliments. I have a very unfortunate face! Very manly! I don't hate myself though. I know no different. 😂

My best friend is excessively good looking and never got asked out when she was younger as she was 'too attractive'

I like your pragmatism about your looks, I find the insistence on praising someone's appearance, especially when the person in question is perfectly fine with the reality, grating and actually quite negative - like the truth is too bad to be acknowledged. It's silly.

Having said that... i would guess, based on the the fact quite a few have made these comments, you probably are quite striking looking, perhaps in a non mainstream kind of way. Think cate blanchett as opposed to cindy Crawford.

We can't really say without knowing what you look like anyway.

Post a pic OP!

So you can be stunning and never asked out because you're giving off some sort of dont touch me vibe.

And there are people who are never told they are stunning and also never asked out. Now that is shit.

I also need to lose weight. Annoys me when people tell Me I have a lovely figure.

I'm medically one stone overweight and could do with listing 2-3. I don't have a stunning figure at all!

Yes, I absolutely hate this also. It's so patronising! I don't need my self esteem boosted, and this obvious lie wouldn't do the job anyway.

What salmotrutter said.

Maybe you don't thinks your are beautiful but the way you hold yourself makes you stunning. People look different head on in a mirror/in photos than how they look moving about and talking. Maybe you should video yourself to see how you come across and then you'll see it!

Sometimes men won't ask stunning girls out as there too scared or think there to up themselves and if you have low self confidence that can be how you come across.

Pm me your photo you have nothing to loose and il be honest x

Our society tends to judge a woman's intrinsic worth heavily on her looks. The people who compliment you may feel that you need a confidence boost as you are not conventionally pretty. I totally get that it must irritate you. You sound very confident.
OR.. you ARE stunning and just can't see it in yourself..?

Lol at one stone overweight

I'm 4 stone overweight and men ask me out all the time, flirt with me, try to chat me up.

Can you pm me your photo too please?

There is very little crossover between stunning and pretty.

Come on, unless you are 4 foot 9, 1 stone overweight is nothing.

No one has ever told me I'm stunning... Or should be a model, in fact I'm struggling to think of anyone who's said I look beautiful or pretty even.

I'm not stunning so I'm not surprised by this (but I don't think I'm utterly hideous either), but there must be something about you for them to say this.

Unless you fish for compliments a lot.

Phew @Ragusa I'm 5'1" so I'm safe!!!

Maybe those who compliment you genuinely think you are pretty? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. (ps would also appreciate a pm with photo!)

Pm me your photo