AIBU?
To go on holiday without my eldest?
libertyboy · 21/07/2017 14:35
We weren't going to go on holiday this year as we really can't afford the family of 4 prices in the summer holidays.
Eldest is 10 and youngest is 14 months. My fiancé is dc1's stepdad.
Before dc2 came along we went abroad together and last year when the baby was tiny had 5 days away in the country.
I've been away on holidays without dc1 before with a friend (when I was single) and he would stay with his dad. I've never really entertained the idea of going on holiday as a family without him but now I'm wondering if it isn't actually the worst thing.
Dc1 is going abroad with his dad, step mum and brother for 10 days this summer so is having a holiday. We'll also have some days out and maybe a few days away somewhere in the remainder.
Anyway... I'm looking at holidays after the new school term starts and the prices are great plus the baby will be free.
I would love a break but am I being unreasonable to go on holiday without one of my children??
hazelnutlatte · 21/07/2017 14:45
I think it would be really mean to go away without a 10 year old. Only circumstance it would be ok was if you had a holiday whilst he was also on holiday with his dad, but it doesn't sound like that would be the case here.
Just have a cheap hol in the summer hols, try air bnb, plenty of places on there with prices that don't skyrocket in the school holidays.
toosexyforyahshirt · 21/07/2017 14:48
You're going to get loads of YABVU, because everyone thinks its unfair for your oldest child to only have one foreign holiday rather than two, so your younger should have none while the oldest gets one. For some bizarre reason people think that is fair.
Granted your youngest is too young to know, but you'd get the same answers anyway.
LanaDReye · 21/07/2017 14:53
Does DC1 have time with his dad over 3-4 days normally?
I think if he was with his dad you could have a short break when he is back at school, but then have things lined up to do with him fairly soon afterwards. I think a week would more obviously be a missed holiday, while doing something when he would be with his dad anyway would seem ok not ideal but ok .
Pengggwn · 21/07/2017 15:04
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Message withdrawn at poster's request.
cuirderussie · 21/07/2017 15:09
That is mean because he's only 10. I have a family similar to yours and we went on holiday without my eldest only when he was an older teenager who told us he didn't want to go on holiday with little siblings in a campsite (we gave him the money to go with his friend to stay with friend's relatives in a European city/the next year he went to a festival abroad with friends) It would've been really mean to do that when he was only 10.
libertyboy · 21/07/2017 15:13
Answers as I expected really!
His dad has gone on holiday with his partner and son quite a few times without my eldest in term time so he's not the hero here!
He is a good dad though and a good friend so I've never really given his actions a second thought.
I do think it'd be strange without him with us but I'd doubt it would hurt his feelings nor would he think he'd been put aside for my 'new' partner and baby- we're really not that kind of family, all very close as far as split parent families go- we regularly do things with both parents and step parents/grandparents altogether. Fiancé and dc1 dad go for a drink once a week without any of us and they're all coming to the wedding (very incestuous!).
I still want my holiday ☹️
Maybe I should leave fiancé and kids at home and I go by myself
libertyboy · 21/07/2017 15:19
Haha brilliant thefutureisfemale.
We're wouldn't be putting him under the stairs with bread and water for a week!
He'd be having a normal week at his dads going to school, swimming and football and staying with his very nice family (no wicked stepmother or beatings!)
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