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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not answer the door if I don't want to?

266 replies

Meowstro · 21/07/2017 10:43

Just that really. I don't answer the door (on a busy road) unless I'm expecting a parcel or someone to pop in which would have been arranged or they can call once there. I don't even pretend I'm not in, I just don't care. AIBU?

OP posts:
buncakes · 23/07/2017 11:24

I answered an unexpected door knock yesterday and it was a Jehovahs Witness. I was in my nightie at lunchtime and it must have embarrassed him because he just gave me a copy of the Watchtower and went on his way Grin nice bloke he was.

CoughLaughFart · 23/07/2017 11:24

Only on mumsnet do people not answer the door.....

Sweet Jesus, enough of these comments! I tell you what - I'll hire a minibus, fill it with non-openers and drive them around to visit you all. That way you'll no longer have to say you've never met anyone like this 'IRL' and you get to indulge in your favourite pastime of opening the door to unexpected visitors, regardless of whether it's convenient.

user1498911589 · 23/07/2017 11:40

Yes, I'd ignore a neighbour knocking on the door because I wouldn't know it was them - my house has a large entrance hall and none of the rooms look out onto the front of the house so I've got no idea who is at the door. We don't have a doorbell (and have no need for one) so I probably wouldn't hear the door anyway.

Lweji · 23/07/2017 12:19

We don't have a doorbell (and have no need for one) so I probably wouldn't hear the door anyway.

If there are parts of the house where you can't hear the door, then you do have a need for a doorbell.

What do friends do when visiting? Phone you for you to open the door?

TabascoToastie · 23/07/2017 13:46

Wow RortyCrankle you have the ability to diagnose MH problems over the Internet!? You could make a fortune. Hmm Hmm Hmm

user1498911589 · 23/07/2017 13:46

*If there are parts of the house where you can't hear the door, then you do have a need for a doorbell.

What do friends do when visiting? Phone you for you to open the door?*

Given that I haven't had friends visit my house in the last 10 years it's not going to be a problem.

Mittens1969 · 23/07/2017 14:28

That's very sad, user, hope you do get to meet people sometimes, outside your home? Although, in fairness, most of the visits to our house these days come from friends of our DDs.

But these days it's so easy to send a text in advance that there is no reason for a friend to just call round.

Where neighbours are concerned, I guess it depends whether you do have some kind of connection with them. If you do, then it's ok to call round and ask for help, for example. If there's a knock on our door I always have a look to see who is there. If it's someone I know then I will open the door to see what they want.

SnickersWasAHorse · 23/07/2017 14:37

I do feel for some people. They do seem to live in a constant state of fear.
People who won't open their doors.
People who won't go for a run with ear phones or pony tails because you might get grabbed and straggled.
People who won't pee anywhere other than home and even then the hover on their own toilets.

Stressalot42 · 23/07/2017 15:58

Given that I haven't had friends visit my house in the last 10 years it's not going to be a problem.*

Shock
GertyTheGert · 23/07/2017 16:33

Am a teeny bit surprised folk here are annoyed that someone has decided not to answer their own door !!! There's been a similar post before and I put then that I too don't answer the door if I'm not expecting anyone/a parcel etc etc. The thing is, when people are saying look through the spyhole first, errrrrrrr a person with a nefarious reason for knocking doesn't wear a sign saying I'm gonna shove you backwards through your door and rob you. And at present there are certain people going around knocking on doors to rob folk saying things like I've lost my dog, have you seen it blah blah and as you look a bit puzzled or oh deary me, what does it look like, they push past you. BTW been burgled three times. Also mother aged 80 shoved backwards through door - so not being a sensitive nervy soul here.....

GertyTheGert · 23/07/2017 16:53

As an aside, why do some folk think that a woman knocking on your door is less of a threat? That's how some gangs operate, get a female to knock and then the male appears - in this case holding a clipboard and THEN shoving the 80 yr old backwards. Three seconds. That is all it took. Not sure why some MNers are getting arse-ache over folk choosing not to answer their OWN door? Its not a mental/nervous nerys thing! ESPEC in this day & age with house phones, mobile phones for a quick call or text saying Hi is it ok to come round (clutching a bottle of Prosecco............) i just wanted to say the person who said they were new to the neighbourhood and neighbour saw them but wouldn't answer the door - a vague chance they didn't recognise them? It is feasible, as I once saw a new male neighbour in a suit, smart etc but then when I saw him in jeans & tshirt, I accidentally walked past him - simply didn't recognise the man AT ALL!!!! :-/

Kamthespork · 23/07/2017 19:09

I'm the same only answer the door if expecting a parcel or know someone is coming round

Gingerandgivingzerofucks · 23/07/2017 19:32

I don't think it's weird to not open the door. I have plenty of true stories about why you should be wary of opening the door eg the elderly guy who was his bed ridden wife's full time carer. The two blokes at the door bust in, knocking him over. He was unable to get up. They stepped over him, ransacked the house while his wife lay upstairs terrified, unable to help or reach the phone. I've got loads of stories I could tell but they would out me and I'm probably not supposed to mention them. They wouldn't make it into newspapers, I imagine.

Saying that, I'm far too nosey to not open the door and I will take the opportunity to tell God botherers to (politely) bugger off.

LoniceraJaponica · 23/07/2017 19:50

“frankly I'd rather remove my own finger nails with a wrench”

This ^^. I always answer my door. I’m too nosy not to, I don’t have anxiety about answering the door, it might be a parcel, it might be one of DD’s friends, we don’t get many chuggers, I don’t live in a rough area and it is usually a friend not a foe.

SnickersWasAHorse · 23/07/2017 20:19

Hang on. Isn't the nail removing quote from the toilet hovering thread?

CockacidalManiac · 23/07/2017 20:22

Sweet Jesus, enough of these comments! I tell you what - I'll hire a minibus, fill it with non-openers and drive them around to visit you all. That way you'll no longer have to say you've never met anyone like this 'IRL' and you get to indulge in your favourite pastime of opening the door to unexpected visitors, regardless of whether it's convenient.

Well, yes. Exactly. It's really not unusual to not answer the door if you're not expecting someone.

Lweji · 23/07/2017 20:46

One time I opened the door to an unexpected ring was the postman telling me I had left my keys on the lock, outside.

It's a good thing I opened it. Grin Or I could have got my keys stolen by someone else.

Other times, it's been to hand in letters delivered by mistake.

But, sure, assume everyone who rings unexpectedly is annoying, dangerous or not to your benefit.

MummysBusy · 23/07/2017 20:51

I have a problem staring down cold callers who know I'm in. The only reason I open the door is because it's preferable to feeling like a twat, half-crouching around the house and avoiding all the windows.

museumum · 23/07/2017 21:01

This thread has made me so grateful to live in my street/area.

LoniceraJaponica · 23/07/2017 21:03

SnickersWasAHorse Grin yes it was. That wasn't meant to happen!

TheDowagerCuntess · 23/07/2017 21:11

Another one who doesn't get the angst over answering the door.

derxa · 23/07/2017 21:38

I assume people have good intentions rather than bad. Once my front door was left open the whole day and not a single thing happened. I do live in a naice area though.

gabsdot · 23/07/2017 21:47

I actually am a Census taker and I do other government surveys. If the door isn't answered, I don't know if the house is empty, or if the people didn't hear me or are in the shower or something so I call back until I actually speak to someone. I'll also leave a note to introduce myself. I'd say only about 2% of households don't answer the door ever.
I don't knock if there is a no cold callers sign BTW.

rainbowpie · 23/07/2017 21:58

I only answer my door if I'm expecting a delivery. I have a couple of stickers on the door which essentially say "FUCK OFF" so I don't get many knocks anyway. I don't own a landline either.

SomeKnobend · 23/07/2017 22:14

I've never known anyone IRL who doesn't answer their door Because you've never met them, because they didn't answer the door.

I don't bother answering mine. I don't want to talk to someone, put the baby down, stop the dogs running out into the street. Tbh I don't want to get out of bed if I'm in it yes at 2 in afternoon. I didn't ask you to knock, I'm not interested in buying anything or chugging, I don't fancy a chat, sorry but just fuck off!