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AIBU?

To not answer the door if I don't want to?

266 replies

Meowstro · 21/07/2017 10:43

Just that really. I don't answer the door (on a busy road) unless I'm expecting a parcel or someone to pop in which would have been arranged or they can call once there. I don't even pretend I'm not in, I just don't care. AIBU?

OP posts:
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myusernamewastaken · 21/07/2017 15:56

9 out of 10 door knockers will be trying to sell me something or sign me up to something.....if there is no benefit to me and only hassle why would i answer?

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coddiwomple · 21/07/2017 15:56

Does she know your DH is her neighbour?

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Louiselouie0890 · 21/07/2017 15:56

I don't either we get so many bloody jehovas witnesses and guys asking want your pipes cleaning (no word of a lie) most of the time it's just me and toddler so I definitely don't answer. Some people get it quicker than others some are stubborn and keep knocking but I never answer

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KanyeWesticle · 21/07/2017 16:54

thecatneuterer - trouble is, people might confuse you with the door-to-door animal rescue chuggers, and not realise you are "on operation" so to speak.

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ParanoidBeryl · 21/07/2017 17:27

OP we have a GSM gate system with AES Security but there are loads of ones on the market.

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notreallythere · 21/07/2017 17:40

I'm a door ignorer. We live on a main road and get cold callers. We're pals with the neighbours but always whatsapp each other before popping round. In fact when the doorbell goes I check my phone first to see if I've missed a message Grin

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lazycrazyhazy · 21/07/2017 17:56

When we were burgled many years ago (in a city) our next door neighbour heard someone knock on our door in the afternoon and thought it was odd as we were both at work. Turned out it was burglars checking no one was in before going round the back and breaking in. So I always feel it's dangerous not to answer... irrational maybe.

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Tapandgo · 21/07/2017 18:19

Your door - your choice

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Leaspr · 21/07/2017 18:28

None of my friends ( admittedly a small number!) would come around unannounced. Quite often it's my dd's friends at the door. We have a glass pane that you can see the outline of whoever is there but they can see you unless you get right up close to it. So I can tell it's a child because they are shorter! I have no debts or anything so the only time another adult will usually knock is if they are trying to sell me something. Or preach! Occasionally someone wants to read my meter (water one is in my house) buts that's about it!
I do have a spy hole too but it's in the middle of the 2 glass panes Hmm which obviously makes perfect design sense...
I'll answer if I'm in the mood but I'm not obligated to! So I don't personally feel that you are being unreasonable...

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Pugsley87 · 21/07/2017 18:45

I

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poweredbybread · 21/07/2017 20:03

I look ( surreptitiously) out of the window and make a judgement. Would obviously help if there was an emergency ( everybody not everybody) cba to answer my phone though.

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AuFinch · 21/07/2017 21:47

I am adult and not weird but i do not answer the door - I did at previous houses but not here.

Here... no cold caller accepts NO as an answer and i usually have to shut the door while they are at mid-sentence ignoring my NO. And dont think I say NO just once! Some of them are extremely intimidating - not nice people at all. Sometimes they come round in pairs!!!!

As soon as the frosts stop we get them all calling - charities, religious callers, quotes for this and that, fishmongers, make up, kitchen knives, tea towels, and about another 100 or so dodgy cheap products that they think is the best thing since sliced bread and to be frank i am sick of it, sick of saying NO, sick of being ignored saying NO. And dont get me started on the scrap collectors who dont even knock but quickly scan and walk round the garden to see what you got.

We didnt have a sign but we have one now that simply says "no cold callers we do not answer the door" because we have had ones that try the door handle, and one man decided to return within half an hour (wont go into detail but he was slightly suprised to find angry me at the door shouting when he thought the place was empty).

If its a friend or neighbour I would see them walk past the front room window and give them a big wave and run to the door to let them in. Thats because I am a nice person - i just dont want my day frustrated by people ignoring No!

But I always open the door for the postman, any couriers (even if not expecting a parcel and its for across the road) and of course emergency services etc. I even make brews for work crews that continuously dig up our road..... mmmm maybe they dig it up all the time because they know they will get a brew from ours!

So if you are someone who goes knocking door to door, or in your job you have to knock on someones door and they dont answer, but you know they are in.... pop a note through the letterbox - there is probably someone like me inside who would love to help but these days doesnt really feel safe opening the door to a strange face.

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ChasingHighs · 21/07/2017 21:55

Yes I answer the door and phone. I think it's a strange way to live to ignore the door and phone.

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thecatneuterer · 22/07/2017 14:44

ScarletForYa
I know it's not relevant because there's nothing a stranger or random caller can tell me that I'm interested in.
Really? 'We have reason to believe that a cat has fallen down your chimney' or 'A badly injured dog has been hit by a car and has somehow managed to get into your back garden where it is now dying' . Of no interest to you at all? Not worth opening the door for?

OP - yes we do leave cards/notes. But often things are very time critical. May be an injured mother cat has been picked up. We know her two day old kittens are somewhere in a block of gardens. If we don't find them within around 12 hours, or less if it's cold or getting dark and foxes are around, then they will die. We often don't have time for someone to look at a card and decide to call us back at some later date. And to the person who asked 'what if there is no one in?' well then, whatever we are trying to help might die. And that's horrible. But not as horrible as knowing that there was someone at home and all they had to do was answer the door, and they didn't.

Also, on the leaving cards thing, again yes it can be done. But for example the other day i was called out to Hounslow. That's a 5 and a half hour round trip from our clinic. Again we need to get access to a back garden. Had we not been able to, and had had to leave a card, supposing someone had actually taken the trouble to get in touch that would have been another 5 and a half hour drive. I could have done it, but I'm very grateful that that person answered the door instead.

Whereas I suppose anyone dodgy is big, male and wears a striped jersey and carries a bag marker 'Swag'? I think there are few people who wouldn't feel far less threatened by a small, middle aged woman then by a large, youngish man. I certainly would. If I were say walking home alone at night somewhere deserted I know I would react differently to seeing either one or the other behind me.

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GladAllOver · 22/07/2017 16:03

We know her two day old kittens are somewhere in a block of gardens. If we don't find them within around 12 hours, or less if it's cold or getting dark and foxes are around, then they will die.
Getting off the subject, but isn't it only natural for foxes to take kittens? After all, cats kill huge numbers of birds and that is accepted as being 'natural'.

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demirose87 · 22/07/2017 16:09

I'll always open the door in the day, but when I was a single mum I wouldn't open the door once it was dark if I wasn't expecting anyone as I live in a bit of a dodgy area.

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rockofages · 22/07/2017 16:10

Why are some of you so averse to giving to charity at the door? I have collected for Macmillan nurses and for Christian Aid and have met many lovely people but don't understand why some folk feel the need to be rude by not answering the door when they are able to. If you don't want to give even a bit of change, then fine, but a polite no thanks is the way to go.

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NameChanger22 · 22/07/2017 16:13

I used to open the door to everyone until an over friendly and annoying neighbour moved in and started calling round every day. Now I hardly ever answer it. My friends have a secret knock. The postman only ever leaves a red card because I'm always out when the deliver.

One day soon the cat is going to move the curtain just at the wrong time, but I'll probably just pretend to be a statue.

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RortyCrankle · 22/07/2017 16:17

TabascoToastie
Please stop saying people with MH problems are "weird" and "abnormal." That kind of casual ableism really doesn't help combat MH stigma.

What about those who don't have MH problems? Presumably it's ok to say that they are abnormal and/or weird?

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fleshmarketclose · 22/07/2017 16:19

rock for me I don't answer the door to chuggers because I choose which charity I support and wouldn't be persuaded to support another at the door. I'm not unaware that chuggers are paid for the charity sign ups and I prefer the charity to have all the money I donate and so donate directly.Alongside that I don't want pestering at my front door for money usually at the most inconvenient times and so figure that my not answering makes it quicker for them to move elsewhere as it is a waste of their time when I have no intention of donating any money.

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NellieFiveBellies · 22/07/2017 16:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 22/07/2017 16:21

Why are some of you so averse to giving to charity at the door?

It's not rude to not answer your door; it's not a summons.

It is, however, rude to harass people for money and disturb them when they're not expecting you.

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gabsdot · 22/07/2017 16:28

My job involves cold calling and if no one answers the door, I have to call back .
So instead of opening the door the first time and telling me to get lost, the householder will get me back ringing the bell several times.
I'd much prefer the first option.

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manhowdy · 22/07/2017 16:32

Why are some of you so averse to giving to charity at the door?

Because targetted begging when you're in the middle making tea is annoying? Because people like to give to a charity of their choice and not be pressurised towards a particular charity on their own doorstep? Because most chuggers don't give two shits about the charity they are collecting for and are thoroughly obnoxious twats who don't accept 'no thank you' straight away? Because doorstep chuggers almost never ask for a bit of spare change, and instead want us to hand over our bank details to a stranger at our door?

Hate aggressive charity collecting - particularly direct debit stuff. I never ever donate to a charity that doorsteps me ever again (had I done so in the past).

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NellieFiveBellies · 22/07/2017 16:34

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