Pass remarkable sales assistant??

[BitchinBlack]

So I took 16month old DS for a pair of new shoes today to a local shop. The sales assistant seen fit to comment "what?? He's not walking yet? (With a shocked look on her face) He really should be at that age"
DS is sofa surfing and walking with support he just hasn't taken of independently yet. I am absolutely livid and I gave her a good dressing down, so was I unreasonable??

BitchinBlack.

I don't know if you were wearing black but you were BVU.

Do you always react to passing comments so spectacularly? People would probably think the same as her, she just verbalized it and most likely didnt mean it. And yes pay grade comment? What a fucking charmer.

I don't understand why you're bothering to ask AIBU if you're not willing take on board anything said.

You sound awful.

Maybe the assistant would have benefitted from some calm feedback - I can see how her comment would have struck a nerve with a mum who's child had some sort of developmental delay but there's a way to deliver that kind of feedback. You sound completely unreasonable giving this poor woman a 'dressing down' and commenting on her acting 'above her pay grade'

OP this thread is very outing - I've realised who you are in real life....

Think you are being unreasonable, think most people would be surprised you were buying shoes for a non walking child and 16 months is late to start walking.

Sounds like she struck a nerve with you and you retaliated !

Very strange comments on here. Whether or not 16 months is late to start walking (does it matter?) it was absolutely none of her business and she was out of order to comment with 'he really should be by now'. She sounds like a complete busybody, of course she was rude.

It was incredibly rude of her and none of her business. As long as you weren't verbally abusive YANBU to firmly and calmly point this out. If she is a doc or nurse giving a specialist opinion that you have sought - she is ok to comment. If not she should keep quiet.

I'm worried I'm going to get shot down but I've often bought my DHs shoes.

I think you're probably safe. Once we've finished beating up the OP, we'll probably move onto another thread.

I've had a good chuckle reading this thread though.

Well at least I know what the phrase "pass remarkable" means now. Never heard that one before.

The sales assistant was insensitive, definitely. You never know what the situation is with child development or how it makes parents feel. I wouldn't have been happy about the comment she made and would have said something about it to her.

But OP (is she even still reading?) was being unreasonable here. Salesperson didn't come off as being malicious so the reaction of the OP was likely OTT. We don't know what was said but a 'good dressing down' hardly suggests a breezy response or a quiet but firm few words.

I think the reaction here has been unnecessary too but the OP's shown how easy it is to say something thoughtless or silly (I cringed at the pay grade comment) and that was online, with time to consider how to word her thoughts. So maybe she'll ease up on others in future if they get it wrong in the space of a few seconds.

ArchieStar

This! I completely agree this could have been worded differently. OP has done herself no favours by being so nippy

Please can someone tell me what the pay grade is that allows you to comment. My daughter works in a shoe shop and has been promoted to assistant manager. I need to know if she can comment now, or has to wait until she is at a manager's paygrade.

btw "a good dressing down" and "I wasn't rude" - which one was it!?

Yep, this poster is definitely from NI and not belfast, as she said local town.

I use pass-remarkable all the time as I'm incredibly pass-remarkable in a pure badness kinda way. I don't know if it's commonly used by everyone or if I've just been told off for being PR ()my whole life by my mother.

I've also bought shoes for my DH but mostly cause he wanted new ones for his birthday or i was out and knew what he was wanting.

My ds1 didn't walk until he was 16 months and i was sensitive about it. I wouldn't have jumped down anyone's throat if they mentioned it though, instead found myself constantly explaining how he started crawling at 7 months and was so fast he had no need to walk etc.

I also bought him clarks pre-walkers, which i think most people do around here? But I've never tipped the sales assistant. Or brought them wine/chocolates. That is just bonkers and a stealth boast.

OP, as the fellow mother of a premmie child (27 weeker) you're going to have to develop much thicker skin. My DS is now 4.5 and we've had comments about every stage of his development. He's starting school in Sept and will be wearing age 2-3 preschool uniform. He's head and shoulders smaller than the rest of his class and I know for a fact we'll have comment after comment at the school gates.

But people don't mean anything by it - they're making conversation. We've always just smiled and said "yeah, he was prem but look how far he's come". It opens up such a positive line of conversation and we've never had anything negative back from it.

Toughen up, else you're in for a long slog.

You tip a shoe shop?

And no i dont buy my husbands shoes. He buys his own. I cant get my head round buying an adults shoes? Or an adult who never buys their own shoes.

Op you sound like a complete snob.

Your thread title sounds like it was written by a bot.

arethereanyleftatall I worked for poundworld, they have all the usual coins not just pound coins

Oops didn't realise it was NI dialect. Apologies.

You were totally reasonable, the problem is if we allow the peasants and lower pay grades to speak to us like that.....it'll end in a revolt!

People need to understand this!!

FFS, what era do you love in?!?? you sound absolutely totally unreasonable and horrible!!!

^live in

faithinthesound Yes, OP clearly is sensitive about her son's development, duh, and that's why she defended him so vehemently (and perhaps went OTT). Is that so very hard to understand. Lots of parents would be OTT if they felt their child was being judged regarding their development.

There is some spectacular over-reacting going on here too... OP is apparently 'revolting'. Ffs.

And now we've got people suggesting the sales assistant secretly has a child development degree. Yeah, very likely given that she incorrectly stated that the child 'should' be walking by now yet the NHS advice quoted on this thread points out that up to 18 months is within normal range. Added to that, the assistant wasn't sensitively offering advice - she was acting surprised and shocked - pretty unprofessional. But I guess those on a mission to destroy the OP only read what they want to read.