Pass remarkable sales assistant??

[BitchinBlack]

So I took 16month old DS for a pair of new shoes today to a local shop. The sales assistant seen fit to comment "what?? He's not walking yet? (With a shocked look on her face) He really should be at that age"
DS is sofa surfing and walking with support he just hasn't taken of independently yet. I am absolutely livid and I gave her a good dressing down, so was I unreasonable??

70 -

I work in retail.

If you had spoken like that to me, I would have walked away (and have done, when customers started abusing me for no damn good reason before). You can get stuffed if you think I'm going to stand there and play punching bag when I know that I have done nothing to deserve it.

It sounds like you have some insecurities around your son's development if you felt the need to defend him so vehemently over such an innocuous remark. You need to wind your head in. You must know that any sympathy anyone in this thread might have had for you dissipated instantly when we read your comments about "brainlessly commenting" and "pay grades".

You sound a nightmare.

I'm with Toysaurus:

'It sounds like the shop assistant came across with the same surprise and disdain some of the posters on here display when hearing a child can't use knives and forks correctly by the age of two or perhaps tie shoe laces at three. Fucks me off when people express horror over a child whose development is different to the norm. She shouldn't have been so rude actually.'

I've had 2 17-month walkers (one at 14 months). I thought we were entirely within the norm, as did our paediatrician (in a country where all kids have one, before aspersions are cast) and didn't realise we were objects of raised eyebrows.

My DS only started walking at 15 months, the day he had an operation to correct his ptosis (look it up if you want to).

I would have been furious if someone who worked in a shop had commented that he should have been walking before that.

Having said that, I thought the advice was that they did not need shoes until they had been walking for 6 months at least, to give their bones time to fuse, adapt to walking...

I'm worried I'm going to get shot down but I've often bought my DHs shoes. He's a very standard fit and wears the same style of shoes a lot so if I see them on sale I'll buy a pair. I didn't realise it was so controversial.

I've also bought shoes for my ADULT DC 😱😱😱 - I was out shopping just the other day and saw some Vans in a style I knew my DS likes - they were half price so I bought them for him. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I can't see why posters are so aghast

I thought pay grades really only applied to the public sector so I've learned something new tonight. Along with the meaning of pass remarkable of course.

As an aside, I worked in a large branch of Marks & Spencer situated in central London years ago and a customer from the Middle East once gave me a box of chocolates. No wine though😠

OP, I have had an epiphany that will solve your footwear issues.

Sannies. For both wean and man.

Mine all walked at 18/19 months. I did get quite a few comments as they looked quite big crawling around. I can't say I ever verbally abused anyone over it though.
I also got comments on on child's strawberry naevus, one child's curly hair, one child's lack of hair, one child's chubbyness and their twin's skinniness, how big/tall they were for their age also how small one was for their age.
People just say things to strike up conversation. I can think of many times I have put my foot in it myself and then felt terrible.
Best bet is alwayes to kill them with kindness. Smile and correct their misconceptions or address their query. Makes the world a nicer place too.

Skipper some pages.

Up I get the defensiveness. Dos took a few steps at 15 months before an operation then tried again at 17 months before another operation then finally at 19 months. I'd probably have cried if someone had made such a rude comment.

However giving her a "dressing down" and "above her paygrade" comments hardly cover you in glory.

I hope DC gets going soon x

I haven't read all the comments but yes, YABU. 'Pay grade' is no indication of intellect, I have a masters and work in a minimum wage job. I'm sure she didn't mean to be rude, maybe she had little experience and had mostly seen younger children who were walking? A 'dressing down' was unnecessary and you come across as a snob.

Oooookay, OP I think if you had worded this thread a different way you would get a completely different response. You come across as over sensitive and actually quite aggressive with the comments you've made. Had you said something like

"took DS3 for his first pair of pre walker shoes to local shoe shop we go to regularly over the years (DH gets good work boots, other DS have always got their shoes from there, friend used to work there so there get wine and choccies come xmas, etc). Sales woman commented that at 16 months he should be walking by now and seemed genuinely surprised. DS3 was a prem baby so I told her she shouldn't say comments like that as she doesn't know children's backgrounds. Manager came over to apologise. AIBU to still be upset though?"

I can guarantee you would've got a completely different response and FWIW, I don't agree she should say things like that as you're right she doesn't know histories. But there is no need at ALL to criticise her work or anything being "below her pay grade" etc. For all you know she could actually have a masters in child development or something like that and can only work in a shoe shop.

PS sorry if my post doesn't make complete sense. Fibro fog is getting the better of me tonight.

Have you got the broom out of your arse yet op ?

YANBU to be pissed off. Just coz a kiddie isn't walking by 16 months, so what? It was rude for a shop assistant to have commented to a customer. It was fuck all to do with her. She has NO business saying anything personal to a customer.

You shoulda said 'at your age I would have thought you should be in a less shit job.'

I had to Google pass-remarkable. Never heard it before.

• disclaimer, a shop assistant is not a shit job, but I would have said that to piss her off.

As a shoe shop owner I'm starting to wonder what I'm doing wrong as I've never had tips,wine or chocs in the 10 years I've had my shops!

Mind you,when I get in tomorrow I reckon I'll programme to till to put a line on the bottom on our receipts saying "Service not Included" and see if that gets the tips rolling in........

OP you sound absolutely revolting.

Why are you even on AIBU if you think you are right anyway?

YABU two wrongs don't make a right you responded badly.

Neither of my two Ds's are walked before eighteen months. Dd's both before twelve. All within normal range.

Working in a shop I've received wedding presents, flowers, pastries and cards on occasion.

The shop assistant should not have commented. It was rude.

I'd never heard the term either.

In defence of OP I work in retail and plenty of our regulars come in with cards, chocolates etc at Christmas, in fact one brought us in chocolates 'just because' last week. That however doesn't give them permission to give us a 'good dressing down' if we've touched a raw nerve (if we make a mistake, talk to us politely about it or send an email to the store please) and it certainly doesn't give them permission to speak about us like shit on Internet forums! Above her pay grade?! Wtf?! I gave up my previous career to do my retail job because I LOVE it. My previous career has a starting wage of approx 3 times my current salary as a supervisor, so pay grades mean bugger all. And guess what?! Even though I'm just a lowly retail worker my masters for my previous career involved training in child development!

My advice OP - a) get used to the fact people say well-meaning but unhelpful shit to parents and filter it out for your own sake.
b) have a long, hard think about how you perceive people with low pay grades. You may think you're 'nice' but the demeaning way you've spoken about us on this thread tells us otherwise.

How many "regulars" can a shoe shop have though?

This poster must be from Belfast!! All of these expressions, ''pass-remarkable'' that is pure Belfast.