New mum clubbing

[MrsG841]

A friend of mine has just become a first time mum and her LO is 6 days old.

She messaged a few us to organise going clubbing at weekend.

AIBU to think that she shouldnt think about this at such an early stage?

Anyone who thinks it's totally right on and normal to leave a baby of that age to get shitfaced is either an alcoholic or an idiot

Well, as I'm an neither, I wonder what that makes you??

Surely we have all gone out when the children were small

No, WE haven't. It's not a natural parental reaction to drop the kid and run into a club.

In reality it's shit parenting and i'd judge the fuck out of her, as would most in rl.

Haha I knew it. People falling over themselves to claim it's totally normal and find to leave a 6 day old baby for a night out on the tiles.

Good for her if she is physically well, but who would want to drop your newborn to go clubbing?

All of these.

Yes Essie I'm equating mothers with fathers. My husband did some night feeds, so I may not see my baby for 7 hours some nights (not often, granted) I could've been out in that time, would have made no difference to the baby.

I think it's odd and never would've done it. Neither would my husband.

I couldn't have done it, could barely shower and put pants on for a few weeks!
However, if she feels up to it then why not? Dad's can go out when baby is a week or few days old or whatever so why can the mum not? If she had a straightforward delivery, no stitches or pain and isn't breastfeeding then I'd leave her to it

Anyone who thinks it's totally right on and normal to leave a baby of that age to get shitfaced is either an alcoholic or an idiot

true though

Either you've left the newborn with someone for the entire weekend, and that's just weird. It's very sad for the baby to be rejected so early, sadly it does happen.

Or you are with the baby the following day, and you are a terrible parent if you intend of taking care of him with a hungover.

Its just wrong. Some parents have famously left their children at home when they went on holiday. It does happen, but it doesn't mean it's right.

It's completely weird Apart from the emotional weirdness of it, she'd be bleeding heavily and still getting back to normal physically. Yeah, I'm judging, I don't care. I was very young when I had my first, and still very much at the clubbing stage but six days, ffs!

I had my first night out when DS1 was two weeks old, left him with my aunt who had raised four kids of her own and knew a damn sight more about babies than I did. Bonding is all well and good, but I was slipping into depression and needed to feel normal again. So no, I wouldn't judge, we all do what we need to do to keep going. As long as the baby is with someone who will care for them properly then it's fine.

Surely we have all gone out when the children were small

Yes, out, when you feel ready to leave them. For a coffee or a chat or similar, when you need to. Not clubbing all night when the baby is a week old.

The first time I was away from ds3 (now 9 weeks) was when he was about 10 days old. I did the school run with the older dc and nipped to Lidl on my way back. It was bloody mint

How long should a mother wait before she leaves the baby then? 3 weeks? 2 months? ..

She is breastfeeding and suffered a 2nd degree tear.

A couple of drinks on a night out has never been in her vocabulary...i do worry myself if she is struggling so using this as an opportunity to hide it

Jeez I'd had the pregnancy from hell second time round. I spent most my weekends in a&e I was so anaemia I struggled to even stand up long enough to make any food at one point.

I spent months being poked and prodded and waiting for my baby to die or for me to go into pre term labour
So yes after all that I cab see why someone might want to go out and see something other than hospitals and your own bed. And shock horror have the baby be with its other parent who presumably is perfevtky capable and see my friends for a couple of hours

Yabu

She might not be even planning to get drunk or whatever! She'll probably take it a lot slower and just enjoy being able to be herself for a few short hours.

I agree with you!

Also, she's very lucky she has people around to leave her week old new born with so she can go out on the piss. I'll go ahead and assume she won't be in the best state to look after her baby the next day as well. So again, very lucky she has people to help.

Puerpal psychosis

Really?

codd

Small to me takes a child upto 18 months

I didnt say newborn

Loads of people dont leave their newborn for all sorts of reasons

What age is the right age? What occasion is the right occasion?

So WE probably have taken nights off at times when our children were small

I doubt there are many mothers that didnt go out until their children were 3/4 (i do know one of my friends did this)

I can't see how clubbing 6 days post birth would be any fun at all.
It's her choice but I would be worried that she is trying just a bit too hard to show everyone that she is the same and as much of a party girl as before she had a baby. The thing is things aren't quite the same for most new parents and a newborn usually changes people's priorities are bit.

It's pretty unusual that's for sure. I guess you're going to be shattered with a newborn either way.

Same for flanders as well

I appreciate i maybe should have clarified small...but i didnt think i neede to

She's a better woman than me then. I had DD2 a week ago. My husband wants to take her out this afternoon to see his gran and give me a break for an hour.

I'm thinking about going with them. Wibble.

I only mentioned psychosis in case she's generally not a wreckhead.

But the OP says she is so that was well off base.

I can't remember when I first left mine for more than about half an hour but it would have been when breastfeeding was established and they'd take a bottle of EBM. So probably after six months.

“Surely we have all gone out when the children were small”

Erm no. DD was breastfed and used to cluster feed every evening. I was far too tired to contemplate going out. I didn’t want to go out. I didn’t want to leave DD. By the time I had DD my clubbing days were far behind me anyway.

I must admit I would think it an odd thing to do, and am amazed that she even has the energy to do so. At 6 days I was still bruised and bleeding profusely and had no desire to anything more energetic than slumping in front of the TV.

“Haha I knew it. People falling over themselves to claim it's totally normal and find to leave a 6 day old baby for a night out on the tiles

Well ...... isn't it?”

It might be normal in your circle of friends, but I don’t know anyone who would have done this.

At six days post-partum I was bleeding, leaking milk, weeping, sweating and could barely drag myself and DD to the shops, let alone go clubbing. I'd judge - why have a baby if you're going to go clubbing when your newborn is six days old? Newborns barley realise they're a separate entity to the mother - why would you leave your baby, voluntarily, when it's so small and so dependant on you?

I'd judge a father who went clubbing and left his newborn too.

Lucky her having the energy and physical ability to actually walk! I was stuck sitting on a rubber ring and had to shuffle for 6 weeks! If she feels up to it why not? Would I (if I had been able to) no - but that is just my opinion.