New mum clubbing

[MrsG841]

A friend of mine has just become a first time mum and her LO is 6 days old.

She messaged a few us to organise going clubbing at weekend.

AIBU to think that she shouldnt think about this at such an early stage?

"What gives people the right to list some kind of approved reasons to leave the baby or go out?"

Nothing. Nothing at all.

@LouHotel that may be when I do it. But the offer is there to go get out of the house, get my hair done, get my nails done when the baby is about a week old. My hubby would have about a week left of his paternity leave and I think he's worried he won't have much bonding time because the baby will probably just be on me the entire time after giving birth. This is even if I don't breastfeed.

I couldn't have left either of mine at 6 days and wouldn't have wanted to. I am leaving my 4 month old today for a whole 90 minutes to watch The Gruffalo with my eldest. I am overly cautious though (and hate expressing)

What crazy responses here!
If you've just had a baby even gentle clubbing would be a stupid idea!
There is being supportive of other female choices and then there is pure stupidity to think it rolls!
She'll still be bleeding - her womb won't have properly gone back into place and she will probably be leaking milk.
A night out for meal is totally different.
I wouldn't judge- but l'd sure as hell think my friend needed extra support.
To even consider it , indicates all isn't well.
I hope your friend is ok.

I was still surviving on ready brek and adrenaline when mine were 6 days old. I had deliberately and stubbornly stayed awake for the first 3 days in the honestly held belief I probably wouldn't need to sleep ever again.

If op's mate wants to go clubbing I'm weirdly impressed.

Why the fuck shouldn't she do exactly as she pleases? As long as the child is left in the care of a responsible adult and she feels physically up to it, why shouldn't she?

I can't believe the levels of outrage and judgement here. Puerpal psychosis?? Are you kidding me?

I'm guessing those slating her don't have a feminist bone in their bodies.

Personally, I can't wait to get plastered once my DD has safely arrived. The likelihood of me doing that after 6 days is pretty much non-existent though.

Slightly off topic, but do Dad's really still 'wet the babies head'? I've never heard of anyone doing it in real life (including my Dad) and I'm in my 40s. I honestly thought it had gone out with the ark!

Back on the subject, I would consider clubbing 6 days after giving birth a very odd plan (regardless of whether it's 'right' or 'wrong') and would be a bit concerned about the friend involved.

gileswithachainsaw it's not on to describe breastfeeding a 6 day old baby as "being chewed to pieces".
I am not against formula feeding but that is scaremongering.

Louhotel- just because your bf baby required feeding every hour, doesn't mean all do.
My ebf babies both had a feed once every 3 hours from the start, and for some of those feeds I had to wake them for.
All babies are Different.

@sleepfreezone - it says further back that she's breastfeeding - i left my DD for 2 hours when she was three weeks old to go for a meal and it took a couple of days for additional expressing to have enough to leave her with.

Why does anyone care? Sure, I wouldn't have done it, most of you wouldn't either, and we find it a bit odd. But I find a great number of things other people do odd, and they are none of my business either.

Stop policing other women. She can do what the fuck she likes, as can the rest of us, and we should all be very happy that we can.

Ds1 wouldnt latch on to me for 3 and a half weeks

Little ratbag

I wouldn't have left him

But it wouldn't have made a difference food wise

And yes

I know that was just me

Its not a reflection on anyone else, i know everyone is different

It was just a comment

Ah I missed that. Well I'm lost then as I agree that my babies were pretty much permanently latched on at that stage so I have no clue how she is going to do it. Perhaps she's mixed feeding?

There is nothing anti feminist in saying that going out to get pissed 6 day post partum is fucking stupid.

I am a feminist. Part of that is protecting women's biological rights and safety and recognising that the role of mothers v fathers is very different. Equality doesn't mean everything has to be the same.

It's not healthy for the mother or her child and it does suggest disordered thinking or some skewed societal pressure.

Feminism isn't 'ooh women should do whatever they choose'.

How would people be reacting if she was suggesting going back to work at 6 days old. I know women that went back to work after 10 days, these women were applauded!

pen

Oh aren't you funny!
Would you really want to be hot/ dancing/ dressed up , and have milk everywhere?
You shouldn't just take one part of my post and use it to look clever.
I mentioned that most other types of 'nights out' wouldn't concern me at all.
Clubbing is a little bit different.

I wouldn't and probably would silently find it a bit odd but wouldn't say anything as its her decision. I had an emergency section and could barely stand for a week, and I also fucking hate nightclubs so it all seems beyond the realms of possibility to me.

My circumstances aside though, I personally would not have wanted to leave my baby at 6 days old, and I also would have found it weird if my husband had wanted too. He took four weeks off work to look after us and we spent the whole time together. We are not "out" people though.

"Feminism isn't 'ooh women should do whatever they choose'."

What is it then? Is it someone else telling us what we should do?

Is it telling us to deliver or feed our babies in a particular way?

Is it telling us how to dress or how to behave?

Because this is what you're saying. It's not 'protecting a mother's role' to specify how she should carry out that role.

I'm an autonomous individual. There are laws to prevent me harming anyone through my actions, including my children. Beyond that, butt out.

Also clubbing with heavy drinking is normally a 7pm-3am sort of thing with a half day's recovery the next day, which you can't really equate with 3 hours in the salon or a few hours in a quiet bar.

"Feminism isn't 'ooh women should do whatever they choose'

Yeah, it is though. It certainly isn't : woman, get back in that house and mind your baby!, is it?

And actually, it isn't very 'female kind' to give her support to have an evening out like that!
Fucks sake!
Someone should be waiting on her and keeping her safe.
Periods of confinement are not as retro as they might sound.
This baby won't even be two weeks old- no, it isn't usual nor should it be applauded!

I went to the cinema with dh ( cant remember how old ds1 was but probably a good few months)

Thought my boobs were going to explode

Got to my parents to pick ds up and my dad tried to hug me

'Get off me you fool and pass me the baby!!!!'