New mum clubbing

[MrsG841]

A friend of mine has just become a first time mum and her LO is 6 days old.

She messaged a few us to organise going clubbing at weekend.

AIBU to think that she shouldnt think about this at such an early stage?

I would find that weird. If she was my friend I would worry that she wasn't bonding well with her baby. Is she a close friend? Maybe ask her (in a nice way!) how she's getting on with being a mum.

Why does it mean she is already bored of the baby?
When is it acceptable for mum to go out so she's not deemed to be bored?

YANBU

Her milk will leak on the dance floor and fellow clubbers will be slipping all over the place. She's a menace to society clubs

Please call the village elders at once!!

Why ever not? I assume she isn't leaving the baby home alone with a DVD and a sugary drink

I would Judge too. I can't imagine ever wanting to do that.

But - everyone is different so people will do as they wish.

Flanders can you explain why leaving your child for a few hours, with its... You know, OTHER parent, is shit parenting?

But Dads are expected to 'wet the baby's head' immediately of course < sigh >

In my world clubbing meant going out till 6am, taking E's and getting shitfaced. If this is what your friend means then yes, I agree it's a bit too soon. If it just means having a gentle few hours out then it's fine if she wants to. I couldn't have after a week but everyone is different and recovers differently.

For all of those saying its shit to do this - dads do this. Do you think that's shit? And if you don't, why is it different if the mums do it?
I would think it's a good think in the move towards equality, that both parents are equally responsible from the start.

Haha I knew it. People falling over themselves to claim it's totally normal and find to leave a 6 day old baby for a night out on the tiles

Well ...... isn't it?

Clubbing sounds ambitious. At 6 days post natal, I had big leaky boobs, was bleeding, tired and in a bit of a baby fog.
Is it a typo? Maybe she means crabbing?

Welshweasel presumably the baby was with you at the pub though? What people are judging this mum for is leaving her baby to go out with her friends.

Yes, I would judge. But maybe she is struggling, is she bonding with the baby ok, is she feeling down or anxious? This could be her way of coping with her feelings..

I'd secretly judge or be concerned for a new mum who wemt clubbing 6 days after giving birth. For clarity i would also judge a father who left his new family to go out on the piss after a week.

I don't think either parent should go out so soon after having a baby. Nothing says "I love my new family" like fucking off out almost immediately after birth.

The younger her child experiences being away from her and looked after by someone else the quicker and easier he/she will settle into it

That is such, such rubbish.

No week old baby needs to be away from their mum, ever. Don't get me wrong, with a young baby you still need space for a bath or a coffee in peace or an hour away for the good of the mum...and it won't harm the baby at all as long as they're adequately cared for by dad or someone.

But no baby needs to get used to someone else or being left at such a young age.

I'd be judging....first couple of weeks is for new family bonding, not for either mum or dad to go out and get smashed.

For all of those saying its shit to do this - dads do this.

I don't know any man who went clubbing leaving his newborn, but I do judge the ones who do too! Weird is a kind word to describe someone whose first priority after having a baby is going on the piss.

For all of those saying its shit to do this - dads do this. Do you think that's shit? And if you don't, why is it different if the mums do it?

Not all dad's. And for those that do, yes, i'd judge the fuck out of them too.

For all of those saying its shit to do this - dads do this. Do you think that's shit? And if you don't, why is it different if the mums do it?

My DH certainly didn't.

Some men do it, just like some women do it.

I agree men aren't judged for doing it in the same way but no, they aren't expected to do it and they certainly aren't all doing it.

Are people seriously equating fathers with mothers in this instance?

Do you know nothing about biology? It is not the same thing. Six days ago that baby was inside her body, completely dependant on her for EVERYTHING. The only thing that changed six days ago is that they are no longer sharing a blood supply.

Anyone who thinks it's totally right on and normal to leave a baby of that age to get shitfaced is either an alcoholic or an idiot.

Yes, my husband certainly didn't go out clubbing when our baby was a week old. That would not have been ok! That was our time for finding our feet after getting home from hospital, trying to establish breastfeeding, taking in turns looking after that baby so we could both get sleep etc.

Its not something i would do as I wasn't really in to clubbing (and had a slightly uncomfortable birth)

But i dont really understand what the problem is (I appreciate OP is worried about alcohol)

Surely we have all gone out when the children were small

It would be worse if she took the baby

Agree with Flanders upthread. It is shit parenting. What is she so desperate for clubbing for? And the baby that will need to be fed if she's breastfeeding? She sounds shit. But on here off course she's a superb, Perfect mother even if the baby was a day old and she did this.

essie

In the opening post the OP said clubbing

She didnt say anything about getting shitfaced

A number of early posts seemed to about not going out, not alcohol intake

I don't know know any dads who do this, at all. At 6 days a baby is still practically part of the mother.

And no one has said that happy

Most have said that she can do it if she wants