To have 'ruined' my best friends life

[tanglewreck]

My two best friends stole my debit card and withdrew money from my card over several days. They were both training in prestigious professional careers.

As soon as I noticed my card gone I contacted the police and when cctv came back I identified my two 'best friends'.

The police arrested them, they admitted guilt due to overwhelming evidence and were found guilty. They were given a suspended sentence but were unable to qualify in their chosen professions as the uni chucked them out and they will never ever work in their chosen profession. Their crimes are 'spent' now but as they got a suspended custodial sentence of two years their criminal record will stay on an enhanced dbs check for the rest of their life. They have lost their chance to work in their dreams jobs and now work in minimum wage menial jobs and will do for the rest of their life, unless they can somehow run their own business of work their way up the career ladder. They will never work with vulnerable people again though.

They have both consistently felt I should have got mad at them, asked for the money back and more but not have gone to the police and ruined their lives. A few people have said since they hadn't committed a crime before, that they'd been good friends previously and had been jealous and stolen the card as a moment of madness. I should have just got double the money back or made an agreement for how much to give back and forget they exists. That it was mean to have gone to the police and showed a lack of compassion, giving them a criminal record for life. They were shocked that I never even discussed anything with them. I'm a very calm person. I don't do angry. I reacted in a calm and collected way. Blocking their numbers and never ever even speaking to them again but I have been shocked that all our mutual friends took their side, thinking what I did was mean.

AIBU to think if you don't want your life ruined and any chance of a career in your dream job destroyed, you shouldn't steal off someone who considered you a friend and you have only yourself to blame?! I feel not an ounce of guilt and never ever will. If you don't want a criminal record. Don't commit a crime. Simple isn't it. AIBU?

YANBU at all they stole from you repeatedly. Did you post about this recently?

YANBU.

They simply got what was rightly deserved.

Wow. No you're defo not BU!

But how would you have known it was them without going to the police for the cctv footage? And, no, YWNBU.

YANBU. It utterly serves them right.

Yanbu.

Its a good job they won't be working with vulnerable people either.

They have reaped what they sowed. Fuck them.

YANBU

You don't need the mutual friends if they think stealing from friends is ok

Yes they should commit a crime and you only found out it was them because the police we're involved. It wasn't that you found out and sobbed them in or they fessed up.

Fuck 'em

I think I remember your posts about this. Yanbu. They consciously and repeatedly broke the law and need to face up to that and accept responsibility.

What the fuck, anyone agreeing with them also = not your friends. YANBU

I'm sure I've read this exact thread on here before from one of the friends point of view. Either quite a coincidence or this is a reverse.

I'm sure this has been posted before, it sounds very familiar (unless it was in the papers?).

YANBU. They were friends, and completely broke your trust. Also how were you to know that it was them when you first found your card was missing? By the time it was found to be them it was already a police case. Do not feel any guilt, I would have done exactly the same.

Nope. But I did see a post that sounded similar and I wondered if it was one of them giving a sob story on here 😂 I think they got the thread deleted though.

Of course fraud is not uncommon so there could be two Idiots out there who did similar.

I don't know why but our mutual friends have mostly taken their side. Maybe they told them lies which turned their minds. Our mutual flat mate has sided with them. Thinking what they did was bad but that I shouldn't have gone to the police. Same with two other friends.

The others don't know us as well but agree with me. But it's strange that the three who know us best have sided with them.

WTF? Are your mutual friends career criminals?

You absolutely did the right thing.
This story is very familiar. I read this exact story on here recently but from the point of view of the person who took the card and whose life was ruined.

YANBU How out does your moral compass have to be before you do this?

They said once I knew it was them on the cctv I should have said I didn't recognise them or told the police I didn't want to take it any further.

😂

Sadly for them their resentment will eat them up. It would be much for beneficial for them to stop demonising me and accept what they've done and move on.

YANBU. Tough shit for them. They needed to learn that their actions have consequences.

You absolutely did the right thing.

YANBU.

People are exceptionally selfish (your ex-friends I mean).

Of course you aren't in the wrong.

I seem to recall a post about this but from the point of view of the thief...

Surely, to find out where you're money had gone, you needed to call the police. And then, when they say "do you know them", you can't exactly say no if you've reacted at all.

Your "friends" who say you were wrong are no friends at all. If you can't do the time, don't do the crime!

'Good friends' do not steal from you and Then have the audacity to expect to get away with it.
Don't you dare carry any guilt.

Your money

It is unbelievable that others side with them. They committed two crimes in effect. Firstly they stole from you and secondly they betrayed the trust of a friend. Have no concerns that you did anything wrong. They ruined their own futures not you. In fact you probably saved other innocent people who may have been their victims in the future. Hope they learned their lesson.