To be upset at having to ask for extra money?

[PoisonousSmurf]

...Otherwise I'd have to use my savings to get the food shopping (again).
I work part time as a cleaner and gardener and earn around £400 a month. My husband pays in £1,000 into my account (we don't have a joint account).
With that I'm expected to pay for all the kids clothes, clubs, school trips, food shopping and pay for my own car tax, fuel and insurance and the electric bill.
So of course by mid month I'm going into my overdraft.
I've not had to ask for extra for months, but he grilled me about WHY?! I'm his wife FFS!
I don't buy new clothes, not had new shoes for ages and I'm not into fashions. Jeans and T-shirt are all I can afford.
In the meantime he has over £10,000 balance on his current account.
He has always been mean with money, but as the kids get older he seems to be worse.
I really don't think I'll be staying with him once the kids are in work and have their own places.
Might as well live alone and on benefits, feels like I'm doing that already.
Do any of you have husbands like this? Mean with money?

I don't think he's being mean with money, by sounds of it you may be awful with money and he's protecting your family.

You pay half of your wage for petrol, if it's that bad maybe look at changing jobs?

I don't understand really how £1400 isn't enough?

£200 petrol
£450 food
£100 car insurance
£150 clubs
£200 clothes
£100 electric
£200 spare

You won't get anything near that on benefits

In think it's all relative, have you written down the household expenditure and shown your dh.

£1400pm would be noting for us, our children's activities are £430pm alone, and £600 pm on food.

We can't say how reasonable or otherwise this is without having some idea of what the household income and essential expenses are.

People keep saying it should be 50/50 but £1400 could well be more than 50% of the household income.

OP there is a very useful budgeting app called good budget which might help you keep a handle on where the money goes so you can have a sensible discussion with your husband.

However the big thing you can do to change things is to get a better job. If you are bringing in more money the household finances will be easier generally and you will have more to spend. You will also be in a better position should you decide to leave.

YABVU and insensitive but most of all, pitifully naive regarding your benefits comment.

There are two issues, why is your husband controlling money and why are you struggling to manage on such a ridiculously high amount? It's not really possible to give advice or help unless you are clear as to what is going on with your husband and your finances. If he's being controlling, then this does need to be addressed but equally, your spending does too. That said, financial control and abuse is never justified - if that's what is happening here.

I spend about that . Infact it's been crazy this month and last with school outgoings . It goes nowhere

Peng.. every rough budget has misc or money left over? She could spend that on whatever she wanted hypothetically.

But in all fairness the husband should also help out whenever is needed if he is able too :(

They do :S even my one had £200 spare, most people's totaled around £1100? I'm very confused.

This isn't about whether OP has 'enough' money and 'should' be able to manage. This couple are married and have children together, he earns a lot more than her, he has a healthy bank balance yet queries why she 'needs' more money. That's the problem. Surely as a cuple with DC they should be sharing money/responsibilities. I think OP is def not BU.

All the budgets include money for extras. Who can guess what extras the OP likes doing. Maybe she hates the hairdressers pr going for coffee. Why would anyone factor in specific activities?

Again because the OP hasnt come back no one can see why the dh isnt happy to top it up. Because there is no info.

Maybe the dh has 10k in savings because that accumalted over years and he is a saver where the op spends everything she has wetger she needs to or not. Maybe she actually should more personal spend than him. No one knows

pen alot of budgets did. Because they commenting you could come in well under 1400 pm.

Op is spending 1400 per two weeks.

So if (and its only an if) the OP is pissing money away, the dh shouldnt be allowed to save anything?

So if (and its only an if) the OP is pissing money away, the dh shouldnt be allowed to save anything?

This is the impression I get.

My wages are paid into the joint account, I then take a few hundred as personal money, my wife's wages are paid into her account and she transfers a set amount into the joint account, like me she has a few hundred quid to spend on herself and the joint is for bills and shopping etc. I earn more than her and even after I move some money to my account there's still about two thirds more in there than she puts in.

She has spent her money by week 2/3 whereas I haven't and I have a few grand in my account that I've saved from my personal money over the years, if my wife runs out of money she then starts raiding the joint account As long as the bills are paid I didn't mind but I am getting annoyed now. Our personal outgoings (phone bills etc) are the same, she just spunks her money on tat whereas I'm more restrained.

Its says in the Op is has 10k in his cureent account. But he could have saved that from being more restrained, like onion, over 10-20 years. While the op pisses money away.

Fact is that we dont know.

pen my point is that they have. Most budgets come in under 1400.

What the op does with the spare is up to her. Personl spends or whatever.

There is no evidence the husband has more personal money than her. As i said, he may have accumulated his savings over years while OP has spent all hers.

I am hearing you. i just dont agree.

@PoisonousSmurf

Are you coming back?