To be upset at having to ask for extra money?

[PoisonousSmurf]

...Otherwise I'd have to use my savings to get the food shopping (again).
I work part time as a cleaner and gardener and earn around £400 a month. My husband pays in £1,000 into my account (we don't have a joint account).
With that I'm expected to pay for all the kids clothes, clubs, school trips, food shopping and pay for my own car tax, fuel and insurance and the electric bill.
So of course by mid month I'm going into my overdraft.
I've not had to ask for extra for months, but he grilled me about WHY?! I'm his wife FFS!
I don't buy new clothes, not had new shoes for ages and I'm not into fashions. Jeans and T-shirt are all I can afford.
In the meantime he has over £10,000 balance on his current account.
He has always been mean with money, but as the kids get older he seems to be worse.
I really don't think I'll be staying with him once the kids are in work and have their own places.
Might as well live alone and on benefits, feels like I'm doing that already.
Do any of you have husbands like this? Mean with money?

Blimey, I'd love to have £1400 for food shopping, clothes and petrol! I have to manage in about £800 for me and 2 teen DS.

It's difficult to judge whereby your DH is being tight or whether he's just being sensible as you burn through money.

How much are the kids clubs each month?

Dh has 3 months of his wifes spendings saved- it hardly seems excessive

If op is blasting through her monthly money in 2 weeks, it would seem prudent for someone to be saving some cash.

Not wanting to be horrible but, if I got £1400 a month, that'd be ample. That's more than DP earns a month (I'm a SAHM at the moment, so we only have his income and CB). To put it into perspective, DP pays all bills and rent, I get £150-180 pcm for the food shop and anything me and DD need. I kind of do thing YABU....

Might as well live alone and on benefits, feels like I'm doing that already wtf? You have no idea about the real world do you? No way you'd get £1,000 in benefits every month.

Whole families live off £1400 and less.

overdraft fees - 30
food for 5 people (2 adults + 3 teens) - 150 a week = 600 a month
petrol - 200 a month
electricity - 65 a month
school trips/clubs etc - 120 a month
clothes/presents/prescriptions etc - 120 a month
=1135 a month

YABU.

We had to get by on around that amount when DS was born, and covered rent, bills etc. things were tight but just about managed.

And as for the 'may aswell be on benefits' you really have no idea. You wouldn't have anywhere near £1400 leftover to pay for food, and your car costs. There would be very little once the rent and bills had been paid. Your DC can't have new clothes and school trips very regularly.

The 'allowance' side of things I would dislike.

She may buy more stuff that she stated in her OP. But 1400 is a massive amount to blow through in 2 weeks.

Or she might fritter it away.

Untill she comes back none of us have a clue.

The only relevant question is how much her DH earns.

The OP should not being running out of cash if he is squirrelling away several thousands each month.

I've got 2 teens and a 10yo, all of whom do lots of extra curricular activities. I've just calculated how much I'd spend a month on those things assuming they do the extra curriculum stuff all year round (which they don't-at least a month of at Christmas/Easter, and 2 in the summer is typical, so 1/3 of the year the s-pending would be much less)

Assuming you haven't got all three going on the £5K school ski trip, then I'd have change from £1400 a month.

I think you may need to look at your outgoings and see where it's disappearing.

Hmm
Petrol 140
Car ins, tax and servicing 100
Phones me ds and dd 80
Ds's gym 30
Cat insurance 50
Hair 100
Dd's allowance 100
Misc other spends on dc 100
My clothes 100
Big Ex's and Christmas 300

That's £1100. DH gives me £750 towards food and pays all other bills. I earn a lot more than the op. We have separate accounts. We are far from having to budget. DH would never say no unless it was for silly spends but I don't ask.

I don't think £10k is a lot to have saved and there's a great deal in my list that could be cancelled if necessary.

I think op and her DH need a little sit down to discuss budgets. And I also think perhaps that the op could possibly work a little more so has more autonomy and can breach the gap.

My goodness, not all couples pool their finances, does not make that wrong! I get money from dh every month into my account, and other benefits get paid into mine. I have spending issues so its better that way.

Presumably, clothes are not every month, or school trips, that is a lot of money each month. If you are running low, mabey cut down the clubs the kids have, and say no to expensive school trips. What bills does your husband pay?

How are your shopping, do you shop sensibly for food?

Gosh you haven't a clue, no wonder your husband sees his arse when you ask for more money. Your "income" is plenty!

I feel like the cost of living must be really different in the uk. I just converted 1400 pounds to dollars, and worked out it's roughly $400 a week. There is absolutely no way in hell I could live on that, even if I had no rent. Curious

I know this is seperate, but Op can you work closer to home? Fifty quid a week for fuel, is quite a lot, when only earning four hundred a month, I assume that's about ten pounds an hour, so you work about ten hours a week? With other car costs it's costing about 300 to earn four hundred, you must be driving a lot?

I know you will need the car anyway so some is sunk cost, but basically you're net earning just over two pounds an hour? It doesn't make a lot of sense. Maybe working jobs closer to home would help?

I'm normally all for joint accounts etc but my sil is a spendthrift & when she had to give up work due to illness my brother had to take over finances & give her an allowance to ensure the bills got paid & they didn't go into debt.

I have two children with expensive hobbies (dance, drama music lessons) & apart from the odd month when dd needs £80 pointe shoes & £60 tap shoes all at the same time & ds needs loads of show costumes I spend far less. We have a family income of £50,000 & used to put two of them through private school on that.

So OP if I was your dh I would be questioning how you could get through that much money each month on a regular basis.

YABU. You are struggling to get by on £1400 a month? That's almost double what I have to pay the things you do excluding electric bill and we also have four children! £1400 is what a lot of couples have between them and still then have to pay rent/mortgage from that!

What other people survive on is utterly irrelevant

If 1400 is gone in two weeks the 10 grand would be gone in less than a year if added to the pot. My ex would spend all his money usually by the third week then need to borrow. It would make no difference if he had a 1 grand budget or a 5 grand budget he always managed to live beyond his means. The more he had the more expensive his taste. It is difficult being a saver living with someone who is a spender.

Why start a thread if you know you're not going to be around for the next 5 hours or so to engage with posters? Why not just wait until you know you've got the time to at least respond to some of the questions?

Fairenuff, people are allowed to be busy

however, I think that this poster might not return....

Why do you spend £50 on petrol getting to a job that only earns £100 a week? Wont the business cover most of the petrol? at 45p a mile you should actually be in profit on the petrol.

Why do you spend £50 on petrol getting to a job that only earns £100 a week

Maybe the Op just likes to work.

I know that Slim but why post when you're busy? Why not wait until you have a bit of time to at least be around to respond to posters. It's just basic courtesy imo.