To be upset at having to ask for extra money?

[PoisonousSmurf]

...Otherwise I'd have to use my savings to get the food shopping (again).
I work part time as a cleaner and gardener and earn around £400 a month. My husband pays in £1,000 into my account (we don't have a joint account).
With that I'm expected to pay for all the kids clothes, clubs, school trips, food shopping and pay for my own car tax, fuel and insurance and the electric bill.
So of course by mid month I'm going into my overdraft.
I've not had to ask for extra for months, but he grilled me about WHY?! I'm his wife FFS!
I don't buy new clothes, not had new shoes for ages and I'm not into fashions. Jeans and T-shirt are all I can afford.
In the meantime he has over £10,000 balance on his current account.
He has always been mean with money, but as the kids get older he seems to be worse.
I really don't think I'll be staying with him once the kids are in work and have their own places.
Might as well live alone and on benefits, feels like I'm doing that already.
Do any of you have husbands like this? Mean with money?

We have two kids in school and those things cost us just under €1400 a month, which is about £1225. If you're spending £1400 by the middle of the month, I can completely understand why he's questioning it.

It's hard to tell who's in the wrong here, to be honest. I think the two of you need to sit down and work out a budget between you, so you both know where you stand.

OP, after your overdraft you still have 950 pounds a month. How many children do you have? What are your grocery bills like?

By the way I'm not interested in how much you have compared to others. Its irrelevant to your situation.

£50 a week on fuel still doesn't explain how you spend 1400 By mid month does it ?

You also have child benefit that you pay in your dc isa ( why not use it for things your dc need instead of saving it)

You also have 2000 in savings ( so why not clear your overdraft that way)

Have you ever thought of you know budgeting?

OP even with your update, how does that cost £1400 a month?

I am also wondering if your husband is worried about how you get through money.

I'm absolutely shocking with money, but I have less than that month and I have to pay the rent out of it too! Blimey.

It's all relative though, I suppose.

I suggest you keep the child benefit to help pay off the overdraft. Originally that was for the mother I think. Your dh can start putting money in their isa.

Dh and i have a joint account. He would be very ill advised to challenge my spending.

Do you have an issue with budgeting OP?
Because that is a lot of money to be getting through a month!

Kids don't need clothes or have school trips every month. How much do you spend on food per week, £100 is a reasonable amount for a family of 4 for example.

Maybe you need to budget better?

Try asking for every penny,what i had to do when married,
£1400 is a lot of money a month,
Wish i had ever had that, you must be overspending i think, and on benefits you would get less than half of that

Doesn't sound like you can afford to save the child benefit for your kids?

So you spend up to £230 a month on petrol, can't be more than £100 month on car tax/insurance/servicing. How much is the electric? Basically, you have quite a lot of money every month and it should be possible to live on it unless there are more facts you haven't mentioned. Perhaps share your breakdown of costs so we can help?

If you gp in yiur over draft every month. Its still 1400 that you are spending in 2 weeks.

Account balance is

-450

• 950 (when 1400 goes in)

You spend the 950 + the 450 over draft. That equals 1400.

he will be jointly responsible for her debts anyway as they are married. You can't control someone else like this just because you happen to earn the majority of the household income.

The fact that he is responsible for them nay be exactly why he is doing this. Perhaps OP has a history of pissing family money away.

You canr control someone because you earn more. But you can try and mitigate damage to the family. Not because you earn more. But because its the responsible thing to do.

But your petrol costs to get to your job must be tax-deductible, assuming you are self-employed as a cleaner and gardener? And if you're not, then they should be included in your earnings (ie, paid mileage)? I know this doesn't help, as you need the money up front to be able to spend it in order to deduct it, but surely that helps?

So petrol and overdraft = £650.

What does the other £800 go on??

I absolutely can't see how you spend so much money??

My sister only comes home with £1'200 a month and she has rent, all bills, two children and childcare fees etc and she manages.

How can you spend so much money in so little time? I don't get it....

I don't think he's being mean - £1400 is a pretty decent sum to be living on for what you've said it has to stretch to! That's not far off my take-home pay, and that covers everything...rent, bills, food, car, tax, council tax, insurance, etc.

Hang on. You feel like you're already on benefits when you have 1,400 a month and no rent, mortgage or any real bills to pay?
😂😂😂😂😂 ok Hun.

There are two issues here - one is the budgeting, and the other is that your husband seems to believe that he has the right to control all of the money.

I'd look at your work-related costs first. Are you self-employed? Are you operating as a company and using an effective accounting system? Your business costs should be kept separate from household costs - it would probably save you money to have an accountant look at the most effective way to run your business accounts.

It isn't fair for the children to miss out on school events and clothing.

It looks like the bills you could most easily make savings on are the food bills. Food costs are on the increase- keeping to a budget might mean going to value foods, less meat etc if you don't already.

The bigger problem is that you aren't tackling this as a team , your husband seems to think that you're the housekeeper.

So many people here missing the point, which is not about the amount but the inequity and the lack of a joint account as well as the dictate that the husband provides an allowance but it is up to the OP to organise all the spending.

Personally, I'd LTB, but could you try a written log book of expenses, or would he kick up a fuss about the DCs needing shoes, coats or haircuts?

Pengggwn She can only get into £450 debt every month with her overdraft. If she had access to his account she could piss away £10,000 + whatever overdraft he has.

Yep, I think he's being sensible.

No, not missing the point.

Yes he has savings. Alot. But that is legally the OPs as well.

There is so much missing its impossible to tell.

He could be a twat.

Or op could have a history of clearing the accounts including savings. So its all now in his name to stop her doing it.

Op isnt really being forthcoming so its impossible to say either way.

Work out where the money is going to, and draw up a budget. Share it with your husband. Discuss together how much of what you both bring in is going where. ie what's left over for your discretionary spending once the bills and mortgage, living costs etc kids activities, clothes are paid for, and where it's, savings, pensions, or building your joint financial security.
To be honest, what you have seems like loads to cover food clothes and fun. If you are running an overdraft and using your savings you're wasting money somewhetre. On the other hand if costs have risen, the money's there and you both want to maintain that lifestyle you might need more 'housekeeping'.

Or op could have a history of clearing the accounts including savings. So its all now in his name to stop her doing it

Of course, he could take over the work of buying clothes, insurance, etc., but instead he leaves this to the OP and then patrols her spending ....

of course she has to pay overdraft and any interest on it first + fuel
450+220 = 670

1400-670=730

so she has £730 to pay for car insurance + MOT + other car related costs + food + kids classes

is that a lot?
I don't think so