about ILs on holiday

[Rainbowsandsunshine17]

Hi I'm a regular on MN but have name changed as I don't want friends who use MN to be able to identify me IYSWIM. I need MNers wisdom to help me decide how to deal with what I see as rude behaviour from ILs.
Dh isn't British and as soon as we break up from school we're off to spend three weeks with my ILs at their villa by the beach in dh's home country. I won't lie, I hate this but it's got to be done.
My dh and his family adore fish and seafood (from a Mediterranean country) but I don't even eat fish fingers! I just wasn't fed fish as a kid and never developed a taste. I know it's really healthy and I cook it for the rest of my family, I just can't eat it. My ILs really hate this about me.
There's a famous seafood restaurant near their holiday home and once or twice during the visit they order a proper banquet (!) from this place to eat at home. It's a big treat for dh and it's something he looks forward to when he goes home. My problem is although I'm a guest in their home, they offer nothing else for me to eat, There is fish, shellfish, calamari and rice. That's it. They expect dh to sort it for me. Their holiday home is quite isolated and the only other restaurant is a McDonald's! So dh has to go and get me a meal from McDonald's. I feel a right idiot as I feel really conspicuous sitting with my little brown paper bag at the table. Plus dh's dns keep whining about how come she's getting McD's?!! Last year I said to dh I'm not bloody getting McDonald's again why can't your mum have something on for me. He said I was being difficult.
AIBU but if you have guests, you cater for them? My ILs visit us twice a year for three weeks at a time. They have very specific demands about food. No spicy food, no English food, low carb for fil and also they expect two main dishes plus vegetable side dish as that is the custom in their country. So I do this every night for three weeks for seven people (us plus them). I do all that cooking for then yet MIL basically refuses to cater for me. Meanwhile my dps make sure to feed dh all his favourite food when he visits! Grrr..,
Sorry for the long rant. Please tell me if I'm being difficult or should I expect something to eat? This sounds so bloody trivial but we're going next Saturday and I'm dreading this!

You are being fussy. Grow up and develop a taste for new foods. If you can't bring yourself to then make your own meal. Ridiculous to eat a McDonalds.

Well, your DH is the problem really.

Tell him to support you. Could you/he rustle up something for yourself on this banquet night so you don't have to have a McDonalds? Maybe something you can have with the rice so that you at least feel like you're 'joining in'.

Failing that, at least give yourself the satisfaction of waiting for DH's DNS to ask 'how come she's getting McD's?' and reply with a big smile, 'Because I don't like fish and Granny and Granddad haven't catered for me.'

And, finally, 'they expect two main dishes plus vegetable side dish'. In the immortal words of Bernard from Black Books, they can expect away! Why do you pander and why do YOU do all the cooking for them every night? Your DH, again, needs to step up.

seriously??, not one single food outlet other than MaccyDs or some swanky fish place...i think you need to look harder!

I think yabu to expect mil to cook when they're ordering in. But i do think the amazing seafood restaurant might have something on their menu that's not fishy. (Tho i could be wrong i know) Could dh not bring himself to ask his DPs to order an extra dish?
The fact you cater for them makes this all the ruder. Just tell him it'll be saus and mashand chicken vindaloo next time they're over if he doesn't do something a bit better than mcds.

Is there no shop? Can you not get something on for yourself?

Eat the rice and smile. McDs as an adult is ridiculous.

When they come to your house your dh cooks their way or they eat what you eat.

I think if they put demands on you when they visit you, then it's fair to expect them to accommodate you when you're over there. I'd be mortified if I had guests and they were forced to eat McDs while the rest of us were noshing on a big feast. I presume, apart from fish, you have fairly 'normal' tastes? So a chicken salad or the like (which could be prepared in advance) would work? Can you and dh go to the shops the day before the feast and get the ingredients? I know it's not fair when you cook to the IL's specifications, but it would stop you feeling quite so self conscious, and you'd have a nutritious meal? You could maybe try some new things that are more readily available there?

I wouldn't go for 3 weeks and I certainly wouldn't be catering for them for 3 weeks!
It's a DH problem.

Are you sure they don't do steak at the fish place? I don't eat fish but I would still go to fish restaurants and they would always have steak on the menu? Can you look it up on line?

Oh yeah, and DH can cook any extras when they come over here.

I think your ILs are being rude, op. You are there for your dh not for yourself & they should make a bit more effort. Can you help with meal preparation & do a dish of your own that everyone can eat & that gives you something to go with the rice? Alternatively, you could pack some food in your suitcase; olives, sundried tomates, nuts etc or get some fresh food from a supermarket on route to the airport.
Would they find it more acceptable if you were vegetarian do you think? That might make it easier if it's a life choice/belief rather than fussiness.

Why can't you cook something to go with the rice? I get that you shouldn't have to, but surely it would be better?

Sorry from the airport not to

Ditch the macdonalds it makes you look childish. Cook something for yourself instead or make yourself a salad. If you can drive to macdonalds you can drive to a shop. I can see why they don't like you eating mcd at their seafood supper it makes you look churlish.
When they come to yours, don't go to such elaborate lengths. Keep it simple.

You're being a doormat when they come to you and a pain when you go to theirs.
Most people would love three weeks free villa holiday!

Ohhh hang on - re-reading the OP. You spend at least 9 weeks a year with these people?
Err no. That's a problem, especially as it sounds like you don't want to.
Yeah, it's a DH problem there - especially if he says you're being unreasonable. Well how would he feel if your family served him foods he doesn't eat and no alternative??

I would stop cooking for them when they visit. order them mcdonalds
Dh can accomodate them.
I'm sure there must be other places to eat out there though. Have you at least tried some of the seafood dishes?

They should cater for you. Doesn't matter what the reason is as to why you don't eat fish, you don't so should be catered for accordingly.

Hmmmmm I had this when I went on big seafood bonanza staff nights out when I worked in South Korea. The seafood restaurants were a BIG DEAL. And while I like lots of sufferer kinds of fish I do not like sushi, eel, octopus etc. I would always just eat the side dishes and rice and not make a big fuss. Once my boss offered to order me in some fried chicken but I'd have felt so embarrassed doing that.

Since it's only a couple of nights I would just suck it up and eat the rice, no way would I make a fuss fetching a maccas. Or eat before the meal DP you're not starving and enjoy a drink.

If this is really your only in-law issue, I'd just put up with eating rice a couple of times during my stay, or see what I could prepare in advance to eat whilst others are eating fish. It's quite limiting to say you don't like any fish at al.

Could you not simply go to the local shops and buy in something for you to make for yourself while they are eating the fish? My DH is not a fish eater - and while I enjoy it I don't think it is something you can just develop a taste for.

What do you eat the other time while you are on this 'holiday'. Is it self catering or do you eat mcd's every night?

Make yourself something to eat in the kitchen or just have rice. Or try the fish - you might find you like it. A McD's when everyone else is having a seafood banquet sounds a bit grim and petulant tbh.

I'd get a steak or a chicken breast in and cook it for myself. There must be a shop somewhere that ILs get their groceries from.
I also don't eat fish but have eaten at plenty of fish restaurants around the Mediterranean.

DH needs to step up and sort something out for you. And you need to stop pandering to them when they visit you. Next time cook what you would normally cook. If they expect you to fit in with them when you are over there then they need to fit in with you when they visit.

D they not cook for you for the other 60 odd meals you eat during your stay? Would it really hurt for you to sort yourself out once or twice?

Well I do think it's a bit childish to refuse to eat any fish or shellfish

But since IL are so demanding when they stay with you, they should cater for you when you stay with them.

As they are so inconsiderate, you should stop bending over backwards to meet their demands when they stay with you. Either DH does it all including the extra clearing up from multiple dishes, or they eat what you would normally have without moaning.